Phobia Friday: Samhainophobia - Fear of Halloween
Halloween is fast approaching and a couple of weeks ago, I had no problem making my suggestions about what YOU should be this year. Ironically enough, I'm having trouble with my own costume.
My favorite place to experience horror is right from my living room, on the warmth of my sofa, preferably with someone next to me, for, uh, "human security blanket" purposes. Sure, the whole big screen multiplex thing is all right but at home, I get to watch at my pace, in the intimacy of my own space and without that buyer's remorse I always feel after I've forked over, like, $20 for popcorn and soda. Thankfully, the first-ever Reaper Awards celebrated my couch-cozy tendencies by honoring the best in horror on home video.
I love Halloween. The idea of dressing up as someone or something else, loading up on free candy, and going all out on a night dedicated to the ghastly, ghoulish and, yes, fearful, fills up my little heart of darkness with candy corn-coated joy. It's THE official "holiday" for genre-lovers. But getting a getup together for October 31st can be quite the task, one most of us wait until the last minute to complete, if those around-the-block-lines at the Halloween Spirit stores are any evidence. And doing all Hallow's eve in our hollowed-out economic state means most of us are tightening our studded purse strings when it comes to a costume budget.
To aid in your quest for the scariest-but-still-recession-friendly guise this year, here are some of my ideas. Prices are rough estimates; fear factor scored on a scale of 1 to 5, "5" being the scariest.
Photo by: Jessica Szejn
When it comes to watching horror movies, I’m often asked by friends who aren’t into it in the least why I bother to put up with the unsettling, uncomfortable tension that comes with sitting down to horror/thriller/gore. What is it about watching bloody dismemberments on the big screen or bearing witness to the gruesome underbelly of humanity in celluloid form that keeps me intrigued and coming back for more?
"Wouldn’t you rather just go see a comedy? Something more, um, safe?" they ask. For me, horror isn’t exactly safe – and that’s why I watch. Sure, there’s the camp, the occasional comedy; those collective exhales and cinematic punctuations where everyone can take a second to chill. Breathe. And yes, comedy might be "safer," if by volume of arterial spray alone.
I've been suffering from vampire fatigue. Yes, the premiere of The Vampire Diaries was fantastic. I'm overjoyed at the sight of Ian Smolderhaulder's -- I mean, Somerhaulder's -- baby blues back on the small screen in a role his cheekbones were made for, blah blah blah. New Moon comes out in but two short months so Edward Cullen and Bella Swan can continue their angsty sexual tension by not ever actually having sex. Truth be told, though, I'm getting tired of ye olde vamps.
The vampire Renaissance in genre films and TV shows as of late has brought an onslaught of viewing pleasure in the form of centuries-old, bloodsucking hotties. And while there are plenty of pasty, pupil-less vamps one could designate fang bang-able, my heart (and mostly my attention span) have room for just one. So, who to choose as my ultimate big fat vampire crush?
Horror's big weekend last week made me a rich woman. Well, sort of... more like "more rich in pride."
See, Spider and I had a little bet going about which flick, in the horror double feature box office showdown, would kill: The Final Destination, the fourth installment in the franchise about perfectly-coiffed twentysomethings escaping Death's design (or attempting to, to little avail) this time in 3D, or Halloween II, the bloody follow-up to 2007's first installment of the rebooted series helmed by Rob Zombie. I, of course, sided with the ill-fated hotties of FD4; Spider with H2, probably because Rob would give him a really harsh nougie if he didn't.
Horror's going through a vampire Renaissance right now: Twilight, True Blood, Vampire Diaries, Let the Right One In. Basically, pale blood-sucking hotties are to today's pop culture landscape what one-liner-spewing sitcoms were to '90s TV: ubiquitous, addicting and utterly irresistible. Oh, Family Matters, where art thou!?
So last month during my Tokyo Tour of Terror, I heard some buzz about a vampire-themed restaurant located among the high-end shops in the city's Ginza section; of course, I had to check it out.
In FEARnet's own original series Fear Clinic Dr. Andover, played by the incomparable Robert Englund, promises he"can cure" his patients via the Fear Chamber where their worst fears come to life. So I've been asking myself, "What are my biggest fears?" What would they be if I were to step into the Chamber and try to conquer them?
I would issue a disclaimer about not reading this because of spoilers. But since I recommend that you stick hot needles in your eyes over wasting good space in your Netflix queue, I'm not going to.
Let's get one thing out there right out of the gate: Shark Attack 3: Megalodon is a terrible movie. And not in that "Oh it's bad in a good way; after the third time, it's so hilarious it's good"; no, it's just bad in a bad way.
// More: Educating Audrey, Lesson 1: Off the Deep End...or Just Totally Off!?
Among my souvenirs from Comic-Con, my set of New Moon trading cards featuring the members of the Quileute Wolf Pack has both entertained and totally confused me. On the one hand, I’m intrigued: amazingly hairless chests + jutting pubic bones (a friend of mine refers to them as “man handles”) = hot. The combo says, “I work out and manscape. After I caress you with sweet kisses by the fireplace atop my leopard print rug, I’ll ask to borrow your tweezers.” Their shoulder tattoos also say, “I’m totally edgy and possibly a bad boy, er, wolf.” And if it weren’t for the movie logo in the corner, I’d be wondering why this new Filipino boy band was handing out their swag at Con.
For the past couple of weeks, I've been living out of a suitcase – not that I'm complaining. One of the major perks of my job as a correspondent is getting the chance to travel whether it's trekking 10 hours by plane to Tokyo and check out new video games or two hours by car to San Diego, like I did more recently, to cover the dark side of the biggest and best nerd convention EVER: Comic-Con!
