Reduce, Reuse, Recycle… those are rules for saving the environment, not for making films.  The current trend in horror these days seems to be remakes – well, excuse me… that’s the current trend in studio horror – but this flux in what said studios have come to brand as “re-imaginings” (which is the “creative” mans way of side-stepping the inherent gag reflex that overcomes die-hards when reading the word “remake”) is daunted by one single, fully-loaded question – one that the ignorance of which is responsible for every single half-assed update of a film we’ve in the most literal sense possible have already seen… Why?  That is the question.  For what purpose do these remakes exist?  For the sole purpose of existence – no matter how empty and superficial said existence is?  It’s not because horror is lacking original content – in fact, far from it.  Some of today’s original horror films are not just some of the best films in the genre, but just some of the best films that have been released in general.  Take for example films like The Descent or The Burrowers or Let the Right One In – these are films that are incredible examples of what the genre has to offer and succeed on a level that goes even beyond horror.  So why not produce more films like this instead of re-shooting scene-for-scene a film that already exists.

The reason I even dare open this can of worms is because recently the remake-happy studios of mention have decided that what’s best for everyone is to try and, how can I put this, change horror history by putting their “stamp” upon it.  The recent announcement of a Nightmare On Elm Street remake and a reboot of Hellraiser have left me seriously perturbed.  Let me explain… remakes of Friday the 13th and Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Halloween are nothing you should concern yourself with.  Yes, these remakes may be unwarranted and destructive to their respective franchises on some level but they will never taint your vision of the original films and the iconic figures within that made the films so great (although, personally, I applaud the filmmakers behind the new installments of Halloween and Friday the 13th for making their films with the intent to add a different perspective to the canon of the films they’re revisiting).  Jason Voorhees, Leatherface, and Michael Myers are all horror icons characterized by the same thing… their mask.  This is what you associate with these killers and the only way a remake could change this image in your mind is if they somehow did away with said mask – which, thank God, no studio has yet had the balls to do and (knock on wood) most likely never will.  This is where the studios get into tricky territory with Nightmare and Hellraiser because in a sense Jason, Mikey, and the Face Man, and with all due respect (please, please, please don’t think I’m attempting to discount any of these iconic figures by saying what I’m about to), are not the “characters”.  Their mask is what characterizes .  Freddy Kruger is a character with a face and a personality.  Freddy Kruger is Robert Englund.  The same with Pinhead.  He too is a character with a persona – a face that is extremely recognizable and intrinsically associated with the franchise.  Doug Bradley is Pinhead.

So the question becomes:  How on God’s green Earth can you even consider recasting these characters with different actors?  It certainly isn’t necessary.  Aside from the fact that Robert Englund and Doug Bradley both still look great and basically the same way they have for last 20 years, why do we need to see these characters again?  Why can’t we just enjoy what we already have?  What’s the point in changing them?  It’s like the old adage about Grandma… she’s old and racist and her values are back-asswards through and through but… she’s old.  She’s not going to change.  And why should she?  Are we not going to love her if she doesn’t?  No, she’s f**kin’ Grandma for Chrissake!  I don’t understand why these films can’t just stand and why the studios feel that they should attempt to leave their “mark” on our favorite films (by the way, if you hadn’t heard, “mark” is code for “forever tainting our fond memories of our most beloved films and characters”).

So what’s the resolution?  I guess there isn’t one in sight really.  As long as people keep paying the price for the ticket and the ticket prices stay on the steady incline then the studios are going to keep making them – and probably still if neither of those things happen.  But if there was any chance of reasoning with these autonomous conglomerates they like to call studios, I think it’s this:  If you really want to leave your mark on the horror genre – then do it by making an honest effort to create something of your own.  There’s no rule that states there can only be a designated number of franchise killers, no rule that decrees there can only be Michael, Jason, Freddy, Pinhead, and Leatherface.  Why not just build franchises off of new characters?  Look at films like Saw and Hatchet.  They created real staples of fear - characters that a franchise could live off of.  They created nightmarish, sinister evildoers that were new and interesting and had the ability create interesting (and, needless to say, terrifying) stories and myths around them.  I mean Jigsaw is going five films strong and Saw is about to surpass Friday the 13th as the only other horror movie to gross 300 million dollars - and Jigsaw did it in half the amount of films!  Hatchet was a hit with the horror community because of its resident psychopath Victor Crowley – who was not only fear worthy but had an interesting myth surrounding him (much like Freddy) and because he came up with some very inspired (even shocking) kills.  Even Leslie Vernon from Behind the Mask could be considered a new horror icon.  So please, (insert studio name here), give the genre and the fans what they need and, more appropriately, what they deserve.  Stop trying to transform the face of the characters we already know and love and give us the new ones that we know could be just as great and just as influential.  Let’s give horror some respect already!!