Photo by Lorenzo Hodges

Hi FEARnet.  Hi America.  Hi Mom.  So, this is my first real blog.  The only other one I've written was called "Ashanti -- Genius, Wordsmith, the Voice of a Generation" about the craptastic book of "poetry" the R&B singer published called Foolish/Unfoolish.  Ashanti was only half right with that title, by the way.  But that was on MySpace, so it doesn't really count. 

So to start this off, I was thinking about listing all the reasons why you should go see Last House on the Left, but then it occurred to me that anyone who goes on FEARnet and reads the blog of an actor they've probably never heard of, about a movie that hasn't come out yet, is likely to see it anyway, so I'll just skip that part.  But spoiler alert:  It's awesome.

So, this morning, Wes Craven called me and asked me not to give away any secrets about the movie.  Okay, I lied, he didn't call me, but how cool would that have been?  I actually didn't get to meet Wes until last fall (we filmed the movie in March/April of '08), when he decided to take the cast, director, producers, and casting team out for cheeseburgers.  Two of our kick-ass producers, Cody Zwieg and Jonathan Craven (no relation -- just kidding --  relation), called us and said that Wes loved the movie and wanted to take us out to celebrate.  Um, yeah, somehow I managed to free up my schedule for that.  Side note:  Even though Wes was not on location with us in Capetown, South Africa, he was very involved in every other aspect of the movie -- script, director, cast, pre- and post-production -- so it's cool to know that the man responsible for the first Last House had such a guiding hand in the remake.  And yes, Wes was great.  Nice, funny, down-to-earth, and, mostly, proud of how the movie turned out.  

Now, I know people complain about remakes and say that they want more original ideas, but to them I say: the first Last House was a remake.  Sean Cunningham and Wessy (that's what I call him ‘cause we're such good friends) -- I mean, Mr. Cunningham and Mr. Craven -- did the first movie as a remake of Ingmar Bergman's The Virgin Spring.  They took a really great story and told it in a completely new way.  And that's what Dennis Iliadis (our highly original, absurdly talented director) did with this remake.  If you're unfamiliar with Dennis' work, do yourself a favor and rent Hardcore.  It's a Greek movie he made about underage prostitutes, and, as soon as I saw it, I was so excited to work with him.  He is an artist, a true visual storyteller, whose style is unlike that of any other modern horror director, which is why I think Last House is so different and cool.  Oh crap, do you see what I did there?  I said I didn't want to give you reasons to see the movie and then… oh well. 

Okay -- surreal break:  I'm writing this and Sara Paxton just popped up on my TV on that MTV show, Cribs.  She's showing us around her pad --  everything from her bronze mermaid centerpiece to her prom queen tiara to her stash of frozen White Castle hamburgers. This must be an old episode because I've seen her "crib" and that's not it. 

Back to the blog:  So even though Wes didn't call me and ask me not to give away any secrets, I'm gonna pretend he did and say "Screw you, Wessy -- I mean, Mr. Craven -- I'm gonna tell them somethin' juicy."  So, here it is:  There is no chicken lady.  Yep, I said it.  No.  Chicken.  Lady.  I know this will ruin the movie for some of you to not see an obese women randomly driving a truck full of chickens to a bizarre polka-like soundtrack, but hopefully you can see past this glaring shortcoming in the remake and enjoy the movie anyway.