! late breaking news bulletin !

! late breaking news bulletin !

GHOULISH's picture

this just in.. seagull's and crow's became infected by the vampire pigeon attacks on local parks and water ways, the effects were fast acting killing most crow's instantly and creating a rage and brutal killer instinct in seagull's, i hear human deaths number into the thousands do to seagull's in recent hours, oh my god i cant believe i'm seeing this with my own eyes right in front of me, a massive army of house cats in full camouflage are storming the city decimating flocks of vampire pigeons hundreds are being ripped to shreds, the cats army appears countless in number slaughtering pigeons and seagull's as they run through the streets, feathers and blood as far as my eyes can see, the pentagon just now reports they've been training them secretly and they have a nature immunity to the vampire pigeons bite, with pigeons no longer having the ability of long rang flight the thousands of cats have the upper hand in the battle, and catnip gives them the ability to fight without tiring but i must sign off for now,

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beautifulmind13's picture

Dude where do u get this stuff???

GHOULISH's picture

this just in. south american and caribbean parrots are flying through the city at high speeds dropping the finest catnip the world can produce making the cat army's hunger for vampire pigeons increase, intoxicated cats have annihilated most of the city's vampire pigeons and seem to be defending and marking there territory reclaiming they're holmes, they're all around me now meowing and purring as if they're protecting me but sadly to say i'm allergic to cats, parrots seem to have no signs of infection while calling out locations of hidden vampire pigeons, cats have just seen infected people and are attacking and devoring them skeletons lay picked clean of flesh bones bleached white by the hot sun, its a terrifying sight but newly infected ducks are attempting to fly south for the winter lets hope we can get them in time, i'll update you on this as soon as i find a way out of here, signing off

beautifulmind13's picture

Well at least the bloodfarts are gone...LOL

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HatchetGirl's picture

Ghoulish this is pretty wild. . I have to agree where do you think of this stuff????  LOL!!

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GHOULISH's picture

my imagination. i'm actually a pretty good writer but i'm just having fun with the pigeon stuff it started out funny but now i can't stop so deal with it MUWHOHAHAHA.

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khaosxrevolution's picture

You gotta love the fact that the majority of insane lunatics (including myself) aren't afraid of being their selves and posting random (but hilarious) comments on all sorts of informational subjects (I.E. Ways to combat zombies) This is the one website out there that certainly does not disappoint, nice job!!!

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Any weird commericials of your own?

leatherface_sawyer's picture

love it killer army cats kick ass fucking funny keep on keeping on lmao!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   Laughing

sakbeerslayer365's picture

...all hope islost here at CNN towers...the meowing and fluttering of wings is maddening..we are attempting a full scale evacuation of the few survivors left here..we have lost all contact with Miskatonic and Dr Herbert West....the wallabys are all dead or infected..the sniper fruit bats were devastated by a new airborne strain of the infection,falling to the earth and devoured by the cats..leading to a further spreading of the contagion...the dipping sauce is still being tested at an undisclosed location and since we have lost contact with the university there is no way of knowing what will happen next..cheif of security here at CNN Col. F.Horn Leghorn is co-ordinating the evacuation..losing the signal..will try to get back on-air as soon as circumstances allow....over and out...

GHOULISH's picture

scientists have reported to me directly via satcom radio we spoke for at least an hour, with them on the top floor of the chrysler building and me in the tank patroling the city streets with the rest of the armored division, scientists have informed me that cats are somehow completely immune to the virus, and are running off to some unknown location possibly back to the cat army base camp at the bronx zoo, these once furry companions have become fierce warriors that sniff out and annihilate all infected animal and human alike, i am now being told to keep my voice down a massive group of infected people are rushing us from all sides, the tanks powerful cannons cause little damage do to their immense numbers, dear god help us there's literally thousands of them pushing and pounding on the tanks if we were on foot we'd surely be dead already, we are very low on fuel and can't go any further all we can do is keep shelling but ammo is running low soon we will be completely helpless, please give me a moment --

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GHOULISH's picture

all we can do now is radio for help but nobody is answering i fear that this may be my last broadcast, what's going on they've suddenly stopped attacking and are completely silent, every one of them is looking up the street in the same direction not moving a muscle, it can't be wait wait it is it's the sound of a helicopter i see it and i still don't believe it it feels like i'm dreaming, i haven't seen any type of aircraft what so ever since this attack began how is this possible, the helicopter is firing on the crowd of infected it's short range rockets are dealing serious damage, everyone inside the tanks can be heard cheering as they watch the helicopter hovering there picking them off, 20 percent of the crowd is already dead but oh no their here they found us, the sky directly above us turns dark as night as we all watch in terror, we watch as a flock of vampire pigeons cause the helicopter to spin out of control then crash, and explode into a building causing yet another fire, -dear god save us---

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