bloodprince's picture

                                                                      Chapter 1

If you ask me it is because of the fears of humanity that lead to the creation of great inventions no matter what race no matter what religion we as people fear death that is why we creat the afterlife to try to make our inpending death's more bareable.Thanks to a great scientist and researcher named Demarco Elis an drug that causes immortailty was discovered shinning a new light apon humanity but just like all other break throughs we need designated proof that it works.My name is Fionna Tailor of of the first schedualed to recieve the drug for testing on the battle field i sence that this wars coming to an end somehow.Welcome miss Taylor says a calmly scientist he looks rather old he wears a white lab coat,black turtle neck and black pants with glasses your gonna make history he tells me if you ask me when they usaully say shit like this its a death warning.

I take off my Orbital jacket which is black with gold dawning my womens beater and dog tags with black pants immediatly a women hands me a contract stating that i here by condone of this experiment yadda yadda yadda.I check my race as african american and my age unfortunately thats my secrete sorry the scientist guy from earlier directs me to a chair.I sit down as everyone stares whats the procedure like call me Elrich he says checking a chart truthfully its gonna hurt like hell. For some reason i let out a humorus laugh lets get started then suddenly the chair activates restraing my arms then the floor opens and some ray looking device rises up like a phoenix from the ashes.Elrich talks to me this beam is part of the Immortality procedure from my left and right two long machine controled needles rise.The drug can only be triggered with this special kind of ray he says not letting me know much else the needles inject me in both the right and left sides of my neck.Then the laser shoots me with its bluish white energy i scream in unimaginable pain i don't think i can describe it but imagine being reapeatly blown up by countless atomic bombs over and over i pass out.

Am i dead? i sit floating drifting deeper and deeper in an endless abyss of darkness suddenly a burst of light shines upon me i come to breathing as hard like i'm out of breath from running or training.Elrich stands over me and utters these exact words "Congrats you are immortal".How can i be immortal your heart literally exploded he stops my next words from even coming out don't you remember he says.But know your with us again Ms Taylor he smiles all most like a demon two weeks later we Immortals get ready for the battle this is where we secure our legacies as the first Gods.I sit down loading my Ak-G everyone around me is both men and women they wear the same uniform a orbital vest black shirt and pants Elrich told me that some of them aren't like myself they are norms they want to see how well we immortals are as soldiers.

A blast rips threw the Orbital transport sending the unlucky falling to their doom i gravity lock myself to my seat damn this transport is gonna crash and go up in flames i know i'm going to survive i have to i don't let the others screams interupt my thought.

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bloodprince's picture

any criticism is welcome feel free to comment

rayne72's picture

it was original. is there more to come?Tongue out

bloodprince's picture

yes but to make more chapters i'm gonna write like you do on stories and poems so i can continue making more and more installments and i may post a few to community blog

twistedstoryteller123's picture

To be honest, it sounds like an intriguing start. If there was a such thing as immortality, I think it would be done on a scientific level, such as what you wrote, not some superhero catastrophe. Good job.

bloodprince's picture

thanks twisted storyteller

stpowers's picture

Is the written "accent" intentional? I sense english is your second language. No worries though, as long as you continue to write the same style (I call it English Puzzlespeak). My only question: Is the heroine Ms Taylor still able to bleed, or do I have to wait to find out?


English Puzzlespeak example:

"Know your story is good to entertain others with the best book parts to read here."

Translated: "I enjoyed your writing and am looking forward to more."


bloodprince's picture

                                               Chapter 2

Usually scientists can lie and use you as a test subject to an inevitable end but it seems the serum is the truth how do i know? You may ask well ok i'll answer your question as I lay against the transports wall and the ever growing flames inch closer my right armis completely broken bending like a bent straw as i look down shrapnel has pierced both of my legs  severing tendents.I grab my broken out of place arm  snapping the arm and the bone in place i scream louder than a new born baby shaking from the pain.For some reason I cough up blood then i begin pulling out the shrapnel cutting even deeper blood began gushing out i let out more painfull screams finally done i drop the shrapnel out of my bloody hand looking at my shredded legs i begin hearing foot steps the only thing that lights this room is the flames  themselves.Soldiers wearing all black enter the room aiming machine guns they wear masks also looking spector like.The two men enter shining flash lights over the room looking around for something they split up the soldier on the left goes towards the front of the room and the soldier on the right goes to his left looking around.The soldier in the front after a brief session calls to his partner holding up bloody shrapnel someone may be alive immediately they go into fight or flight mode.The fledge soldier turns to his partner shinning a light on him lets find whoevers blood this the soldier in the front nods agreeing a quite voice speaks to the soldier in the back.

You don't gotta look for me she immediately stabs him in the side of the neck as blood gushes out she grabs his gun shooting his partner.Fionna hears the sounds of the other soldiers screaming it seems like i'm not the only one with an invitation to this party.Gun fire echoed as the fledge soldiers are being gunned down one by one as two immortal's walked threw the hail of gun fire wearing metal masks.Devils walk said the dying soldiers the man and women were devistating as partners they were a two person army. Finally being done they take off their masks as bullets began pouring out of their bodies the man was rugged and handsome with hazle hair he had muscles the women was mexican she had long smooth black hair they still wore their orbtal uniforms.With absolutely no warning the commander of the little search mission hops out of a corner and blows the mans head off he begins laughing as the beheaded body falls to the ground.

He realizes the women is laughing and isn't the least bit shocked or afraid he aims at her you stupid wench you and your devil killed my men you god damn pigs.I'm going to make you my personal play toy you bitch he says laughing like a mad man unlike them i want die.With lightning fast spped the women throws a buttergly throwing knife hitting him in what men treasure the most.He aims shaking of pure rage i'll kill you"i don't like disrespectful worms" says the women smiling.The man punches him to the ground as the commander screams at the site of his attackers head closing up "you devil you devil" we aren't devils call me Chris and her names Jullia she waves at him still smiling.Look i don't like being shot mostly cause its a drag and shit hurts so now that you know you can die Chris begin hitting the commanders face with rapid punches.Blood splatters on Chris's face and his knuckles are drenched with blood "so i'm not the only one on the ship huh".

Chris turns seeing Fionna and her uniform see Jullia even others think your not a women shut up you dumbass says Jullia.So you two are also immortal yea says Chris its a shame what happened to the others any ways we have a mission to complete.Do you want to join us says Jullia we'll complete the mission a little faster theirs a dead silence for a while then Fionna accepts the invitation.They walk out of the transport fully armed after they get a few feet away the transport explodes.

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We know our position is in the city of Aravu the fledge army has some heavy resistance set up in this city but we can overcome anything.We begin walking and looking at the decrepit buildings and houses.Suddenly we hear a loud grinding sound as we turn a building seeminly explodes the cconcrete hits Jullia square in the chest i begin firingh into the building Chris get her up as she begins to come to I notice the building hasn't exploded seeing the culprit i stand at ahh a Resevar stands infront of me Resevar are man piloted battle machines that are heavily destructive and feared.We run towards a concrete building as the Resevar fires its machine guns ripping threw the dirt Chris and Jullia get in as the gun fire rips threw me and mangles the right side of my body.I begin trying to crawl with my only arm and leg damn how could this happen? my blood begins running out  as i roll over facing the Resevar.Suddenly a fired grenade explodes making it stumble back then Chris runs out and drags me in the building as Jullia fires another shot off.

He sits me down ok look this is a trick all you have to do is concentrate and that'll speed up your regenerative healing thats all come on try it.Jullia takes cover shots slice threw the concrete I begin trying to do as Chris had told me come on i scream  begining to heal as new tissue,bone and nerves form i lift my half regenerated hand to my face.After a minute or so i rise up grabbing my weapon lets go now seems i was just in time the Resevar's chest plate opens exposing rockets.We flee the building as it explodes the Resevar walks away thinking the trio had parished.I offer chris my thanks as we stop from the constant strain of running he accepts then Jullia receives a message from HQ.Our target's  arriving in the fledge protected zone in a couple of minuets and he has a very important CD on him.Seems like a race against time hey guys stealth is recommended says Jullia me and Chris both noded agreeing.We reach an area thats heavily fenced and protected how can we enter safely? Hey theirs a convoy truck coming this way we hide under the bridge taking cover.A convoy truck pulls up to the restricted area three guards stop and begin inspecting the truck one gaurd knocks on the window as the driver lets down the window he says he needs to make the weapons shipment speaking their language and shows them his indentification.

The gaurds clear the truck to pass the convoy truck goes to the shipment area and begins getting very tense seeeing no one Jullia rises up aiming a handgun at him she was hiding on the floor make one move and your dead got it.Yes he says in the back Chris and Fionna sit talking so how long ahve you been on the ortial path said chris.Four years now said Fionna how about you she replied seven years said Chris responding my brother was in orb also.Oh says Fionna whats his position he was an awarded sergant so what happened to him said Fionna trying to figure Chris out.His mood changed and he began claming up the pounding of Jullia's hands on the metal sounded to them that they were clear.Exiting they were dressed in Fledge uniform Jullia meet them hurry up we got to do this now all the soldiers below the Resevar's bowed before an old african american man he walked wearing a fledge uniform his hair was gray he was walking to an area with a radian shield.Their were tanks,ground soldiers,Predators hovering and also 4 Resevar's.Myself along with Chris and Jullia communicated while in the Resevar suits we had to act now or our oppertunity my slip by.

Some how a short hit a predator bringing it down then another shot hit an Resevar making it explode a different kind of Resevar landed it was more beast like and fearsome what the hell is going on here?

To be continued

bloodprince's picture

I'm going to put Fionna threw more than whats going on in these chapters this is only a taste of what she can accomplish and handle

rayne72's picture

Tongue outi like this Fiona, and the description of the action more i would like to see what happens - peace , rayne


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