A SAMPLE FROM : "THE HOUSE THAT SCREAMED"

A SAMPLE FROM : "THE HOUSE THAT SCREAMED"

deadcrazy's picture

CHAPTER 1 : It was a cold,dry day as winter crept in. Fruit bats squealed as they flew near the old victorian style house.  The yard was covered with dead branches from unruly shubbery. Huge tree branches hung precariously in front of the house. The ground was ashen and covered with dry leaves that crackled beneath the feet. A condemned-looking tool shed stood alone behind the house. It was once used by gardners who tended to the upkeep of the yard. In the late evening and after dark,people dared not walk past the Livingston house. Old manila colored shades were down in several  of the front windows. The light through the shades gave the house an even sadder appearance. The second floor had one room which always had a light on in it. It appeared that no one occupied the other rooms.  Rumor has it that bone-chilling screams could be heard at night coming from inside the house,especially at around 8:45p.m., just before the patients were given their medication. Dr. Barry Livingston and his wife,Judith tended to ten or more psychiatric patients,all of which suffered some sort of mental illness.  The patients were considered dangerous and were not to be dealt with on a one-to-one basis. Judith Livingston was a loving young woman in her late thirties with light brown hair. She wore round lens glasses that rested on her some what flat face. Judith had sort of a perk in her lips when they were closed together. She always felt comfortable by herself when dealing with patients,despite being warned of possinble dangers several times by her husband.  The yard was surrounded by tall,black iron gates that were always kept locked. Patients at one time were allowed to roam free in the yard. They mingled with the staff,including the gardner,Jose Mendez. He always hung around the tool shed where he sat on a tree stump with a large ax wedged in it that was used for chopping firewood. Closed circuit T.V.s were used to watch the yard and the patients. They were monitored by dr. Livingston from his office. there were cameras in each room that the patients occupied. Dr. Livingston was always concerned about his wife's safety. they had been married for fifteen years. she was his first wife.  The gardner,Jose,always kept himself armed. Jose and one of the ten patients, Billy darwin, had become friends over a period of time,and Jose had come to trust him. Billy Darwin was in his late forties; his motor function was a little slower now frrom high doses of thorazine and Haldor which kept him calm. Billy had a phobia of paper bags - they gave him flashbacks of how he had killed his wife and her boyfriend. At a young age,Billy had a violent streak in him. His childhood was an abusive one.  Twenty years ago, on one very hot and humid summer night,Billy darwin worked overtime. He would drive his black 4x4 pickup truck to and from his job. Returning at 10p.m., Lorraine darwin,his wife normally would be asleep,except on this particular night she had a visitor-another man.   Their hot skin pressed against each other passionately in bed. Beads of sweat rolled down sean's back as he stroked Lorraine like a wild animal. Her head hung back as his penis,which was plugged into her vagina,held her. she grunted passionately as ean continued to screw her. Her grunts grew louder as she peaked almost to a climax. Billy Darwin drove up on his gravel driveway,stopped,and shut off  the headlights and the engine. He noticed that the bedroom light was on. He thought how strange it was because usually she was sleep at this late hour. Sean continued to hump on Lorraine,pushing her body deep down into the matress. Lorraine's cries of lovemaking drowned out the sound of the door slamming on Billy's truck. Billy dropped the keys before opening the door to his house. After picking them up and letting himself in,he gently closed the door behind him. He raised an eyebrow as he first heard the sound of joyous lovemaking.  Billy walked quietly to his bedroom door,leaned toward the door,and listened. He began to fold in his bottom lip. He reached out for the doorknob carefully ,making sure not to disturb the occupants inside. He cracked the door slightly and saw his wife's legs wrapped around some guy's back. Billy's face quickly turned blood red. He closed the door,and while biting down on his bottom lip,he tried to compose himself,but he bit down so hard that a trickle of blood ran down from one corner of his mouth.

Share this discussion

bloodprince's picture

Great start

trent13131369's picture

Dude, you got me hooked I wanna view the rest of it. Is this piece published or new? Dude, your bridges are perfect! That's one thing that I always look for in piece. Without bridges your fucked! But you got 'em down to the mother fuckin' T...dude, I was kinda pissed it ended so quickly, lol. I love that fact that you've got your desciptiveness down to a T and its at the same flow-point. You set everything up perfectly and you don't over-do-it. Bravo. Alot of writes have problems with that area...and it pisses me off and makes me not even want to continue sometimes...ya' know what I mean? I also like the certain way that you set up your sceneroy. You do it in a way that keeps people guessing until you let your audience know. I love that. Only writers who got-the-nach can do that and deliver it correctly, and you definatly are one of 'em. I also like your plotline. You build it to such a point that when you abruptly end it, the end acts like the spite-filled-commercial at the series finale of a multi-million-viewer-hit-tv-show. Having everyone be on the edge of there seat, wanting more. I dig your work. Please hit-me-up whenever you make a new post. I also plan to put some-of my actual work on here...I'm just such a perfectionist...{its a very bad fuckin' flaw of mine}...I want to make sure it's up-to-parr- before I post it, ya' know? All the poetry stuff is very amacure work...I hardly look over it the asme amount as I do my screenplays{24/7...lol,lol,lol}. Once I put something up I'll let ya know and I would love your opinion. Peace, love and vicodin!!!

Add new comment

Please login or register to post in the message boards.
By submitting this form, you accept the Mollom privacy policy.
<none>