Dates From Hell: The Horror Dating Game

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Mick Garris one of the sci-fi and horror genres favorite producers, writers and directors and the creator of such chilling series as the award-winning anthology Masters of Horror -- goes one-on-one with the biggest names in horror for provocative and insightful conversations.

Dates From Hell: The Horror Dating Game

spookyboo's picture

I'm sure EVERYONE has had at least a few of these.  The subject matter on this forum isn't getting any activity so I thought a few of us might want to share some stories?  Whether you made the mistake of meeting the WRONG individual on the net, had a blind date from Hell, or found out in other ways you bit off more then you could chew or what you were chewing on was artificial? 


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SexyAMocha's picture

I decided to go out with this guy whom I met at the State Fair. He was really cute, tall, and rich. The date started off fine, we had dinner then a movie until... while at the movies this jerk bumped into me, I looked at my date to defend me and he smiled at the jerk who bumped me. The jerk noticed he was'nt gonna do anything so he made a pass at me. My date just stepped back so I pushed the both of them out my way and left by cab. He was sweet but an @ss hole.

spookyboo's picture

Ah more tales of terror from stalkers to dickless wonders.  Gal's you are not alone!  These people need to have signs hanging around their neck saying: Yes, I'm a stalker, Yes, I have no penis, am a cheap date, have an STD, have wooden appendages, involved in a cult etc. 

Sometimes there are tell-tale signs, most do not produce those signs right away.  I had someone try to tell me that they thought their underwear was magickal.

SexyAMocha's picture

D@mn spookyboo that was funny!

asherz's picture

When I was sixteen I use to date this gun freak. He and his whole entire family stashed guns around the house in odd places. For example, one night I was over at his house and he had asked me to get him a glass of milk, and upon opening the cabinet, I found a shiny silver hand gun stashed away behind some glasses. I encountered guns not only in the kitchen but in both bathrooms of the house, his room, inside the couch, and even in their various vehicles. Not only were they freak gun collectors, but they knew how to use them well. The guy would enter gun competitions like the ones where they shoot the disks that go in the air...skeet I think? He took me to a few so I would know how "precise" he was. 

The story gets better.

We were arguing in his kitchen/dining room one afternoon and I happened to make a few emasculating comments and BOOSH. Gun right in my fucking face. Now, I don't know much about guns, I've never been around them. Never shot anything other than Nerf and BB guns. But here I am, standing dead still with 12 gauge shotgun pointed right in my face. After standing there wide eyed for about forty second, he lowered the gun, set it back in his place, and said I had learned my lesson and that I would learn how to keep my mouth shut. 

I thought the safest thing to do would be to give it a few more weeks and then end it. To avoid any other incidents of having a gun pulled out on me...but, I got lucky. He dumped me so I didn't have to worry about. Lesson I learned? Being a bitch can be a good thing. 

zombie_man's picture

That must have been a hell of an expeience. When I was 13 years old I got guns pulled at me, knifes, bow and arrow, and shot at from a 22. a fellow 13 yearold pulled a hunting gun at me, I didn't know him. My first psycotic exgirl shot a 22 at me for wanting to break up cuz she was a total bitch. A college girl i just met, didn't know her name or anything, right out of the blue She pulled a knife at me cuz she was mad at her boyfriend so she threatene to kill a little kid. A drunk guy, and he was a very violent drunk, pull a bow at me, no idea why. And finally an old man, another stranger that i had no idea who is or why he wanted to hurt me, pulled a handgun at me. That was all when I was 13.

In highschool, I think when I was 16 can't really remember, this goth girlwas very strang, and very weird, she claimed to talk to animals through telepathy. She grew very depressed because animals would never talk back, so she killed herself. I know I shouldn't laugh at that, but holy fuck the whole thing sounded very hilarious. I feel bad even more when the whol school wouldn't care. They didn't even mention her or had a photo of her in that book you get after you graduate.

metalgurahl's picture

I've have no claims to fame on religious weirdos freaking out on me or insecure guys pulling guns on me, although I have had a few jealous boyfriends leave me threatening messages on my cell phone, let me tell you how much I enjoy that.

But, I suppose here's two stories for the list.  Neither of these count as a dates, but I figure it'll fit in anyway. 

STORY #1: So, this girl I had talked to for a while over the net (we're talking years here) finally decides she wants to come visit me (she lives in Canada, I in Texas, quite a trip, lol).  Now, I had warned her I wasn't a rich man (I'm not), but I'd do my best to show her around and whatever.

I was not expecting her to put out or anything like that.  So here's what happens, after I take her out to various restaurants, city sites, etc.  She basically fucking ignores me to flirt with my roommate the ENTIRE fucking time she's here.  What did he do?  Not a god damn thing.  What did I do?  Picked her up and took her back to the airport, showed her around, I was essentially reduced to little more than a chauffear.

So yeah, while she was here, I deleted her off my any and all friends list I had and have not talked to her since.  From what I've heard, she made a return trip back down here to be with someone else, and she even tried to contact me a few times.  Now, I'm the kind of guy, when I don't want to talk to someone, I WILL NOT TALK TO THEM.  So yeah, I deleted her messages, did not respond, and yeah, she can go fuck herself. 

STORY #2:  Before I start this story, for the record, I am not a home-wrecker.  If you're a lady and you're married and you're looking for extra-curricular activities, don't come to me, that's some shitty karma I don't need.  So sorry.  When the divorce is final, then we'll talk, lol, but until then, go somewhere else.  Now then, onto the story.

A married friend of mine who's husband is such a charming guy (in this story, charming = controlling, manipulative, and overall dickhead) needs to go grocery shopping for their kids.  You know, since feeding kids is important from what I'm told. 

It was HIS idea, I'll repeat that, HIS idea for ME to pick her up to take her to Wal-Mart, even though he could have easily gotten off his video game playing ass to go to store himself while she watched the kids.  But no, HE tells her to have ME pick her up (even though he has openly said he doesn't trust me) and take her to Wal-Mart so she can go grocery shopping. 

When I arrive, they're in full-throated fight mode.  I don't even know what it was about, I stopped caring.  Eventually, she finally makes it out the door.  Since they live in a townhouse, after the backdoor is a patio surrounded by a fence with a door to what serves as a covered parking space for them.  When we got out the backgate, we hear him lock the back door, and of course, she doesn't have a key.  She's six months pregnant at the time and she gets mad enough to scale an eight foot tall fence and kick down the back door.  More fighting.

Eventually she makes to Wal-Mart, and as a way of saying thanks, she wants to cook me something.  Mr. Charming is still in the living room playing video games, so I sit in the kitchen with her while she gets to cooking.  Suddenly I hear, "I think someone needs to leave.", and I know he's talking about me, but she shakes her head and says he's referring to her.  So he goes to his closet, grabs a baseball bat, puts on the bar counter and goes back to playing his games.  So she says, "What?  You want me to leave?" and he says "You can go with him if you want."

Yeah, so I raise my hands and walk out the door.  Yeesh!  Its what I get for being a nice guy I guess, lol. 

lagoonblackwater's picture

I don't really go on many '"dates", but I've been in some long term type relationships. I was with one particular girl that I thought, at the time anyway, was the "one". When we broke up after five years, I was pretty devistated. I moved back to my home town and immediately began the process of self medication. This involved a heavy regamine of whiskey and black metal. It did actually help.   The problem came later.


For a space of about one week, I was pretty drunk.I'm not really that much of a drinker, but I had a broken heart.Boo Hoo.




I decided to sober up, you know, clear my head. After the smoke cleared, I realized something strange had happened during my drunken grieving period. Something strange and terrible.

It seems I had sort of been hooking up with this weird hippy chick during my reveries. That was bad enough news, but it gets weirder. The first thing I noticed was that my super cool,framed, autograghed picture of the cast of Twin Peaks that I had hanging on my wall was gone. The frame was still there, but were the picture was, there was a photo of this hippy girl holding a baby, breast feeding.Ok, I thought, she's got a kid. Not really a problem, but where the hell is my picture? After some polite questioning I find out that the kid wasn't hers. Ah so, the plot thickens. Apparently this girl was now sharing my room with me. Somehow, with out me really realizing it was happening, this girl had moved in with me, redecorated my house, and apparently had no plans of going anywhere.


 She was cute enough, and I didn't have the heart,[not to mention the energy] to break up with her, so I let it slide for the next couple of days.

Anyway, It turns out she was completely obsessed with babies. I mean really obsessed with babies. After one week this gronola chick had completely taken over my house and was now begging me to get her pregnant! This had to stop. I went out and got wasted again. Maybe she would think that I was an alcohlic, get turned off and leave. Turns out I didn't have to worry, because when I got home that night, she had left, but not before smashing most of my records and VHS tapes. Amid the rubble I found a note with the words "I can't be with someone who hates babies!!!" 

Now, I don't hate babies or anything... but from then on, I never date hippies.


metalgurahl's picture


But I gotta speak on behalf of hippies considering my mom is hippie herself. 

Not all of them are bad, most of them are cool people, but they do seem to have this thing about the sacredness of life, so I'm guessing you found one that took to the nth degree, lol.

Sorry to hear about that bro, but I agree, black metal cures all wounds.  \m/

spookyboo's picture

Please, don't anyone take offense to this.  I often attribute these above mentioned phenomenon as hoochie drama =(crazy bitches), gun fags =(nothing against gays but about people obsessed w/ guns to the point THAT IS THEIR ONLY LOVE), and beer / alcohol kaleidoscope= (more messed up then beer goggles but a mistake we all do make unless we have permanent prohibition against drinking and / or are legally blind).

zombie_man's picture

I don't get what you just said


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