Startling revelations filled this week’s episode of SyFy’s Being Human! Well, startling if you haven’t seen the UK series, at least. Josh finds out who turned him, Sally finds out who killed her, and I think Aidan has a new leather jacket. Oh, and the vampire conspiracy is thickening or something, now including a vampire priest. Ultimately, it’s pretty boring if you’re familiar with Being Human’s predecessor, sort of pulling the rug out from under any potential significant departures from the UK series, seemingly to the point where they even imitate their progenitor’s missteps. Hopefully, at the very least, Aidan won’t start wearing fingerless gloves.
The episode begins with Sally’s most recent attempt at nonsense spiritual narration, which I mostly don’t listen to, because it’s annoying. There is a man in the hospital, and he has a lot of money, so vampire priest turns him, and then they drink some poor man’s blood together as a bonding exercise. It’s the setup for Aidan’s somewhat repetitive story this week, which will probably never, ever develop in any meaningful way. The evil vampire conspiracy needs to actually do something soon, or I am going to question their commitment to…whatever their cause is. The shroud of mystery can be an effective narrative tool, and it can just be boring and confusing. It’s just become inexplicable. There is no Earthly logic binding their behavior at this point. Who are these people? Why are they acting like this? Why is this series labeled as a supernatural slice-of-life show? Can I stop watching now?
At any rate, Mr. Vampire money bags ends up in the hospital again, because for all his talk of family, Bishop is pretty bad at keeping track of new vampires that have no way of controlling their overpowering murderous compulsion. Understandably miffed, Aidan goes to see the vampire priest, who has some sort of crazy theory that Jesus was a vampire. Aidan is about as skeptical of this as I was, and goes to see Bishop instead, who he figures is at least on the fringes of sanity. The joke’s on Aidan, though, because Bishop talks about how every great leader needs a religious best friend to justify his atrocities, and proceeds to beat Aidan into the floor for no apparent reason. None of this makes any sense at all, but we’re not left to dwell on it. Do all of the vampires have Alzheimer’s or something?
Before anyone can develop their characters any further, Sally decides to start hogging screentime. I said last week that I don’t hear her speak words so much as I hear her scream incomprehensibly, with a fluctuation in her voice between “happy” and “sad”, indicating her mood in any given episode. There’s a flashback to Sally’s fiance throwing her down the stairs, killing her, which is why Sally jamming the plumbing or something. I don’t know if it just makes no sense or if I’m just not paying attention anymore, but Sally’s shrieks were particularly unpleasant today, so I believe that the audience is being left to assume that she is very displeased with this turn of events. Her fiance was the one to kill her in the British series too, and I was kind of hoping they’d sidestep it here, because it wasn’t particularly well written to begin with, but I guess I sympathize with the writers, because this makes their jobs a lot easier. Writing is very stressful, you know.
Anyway, Aidan shows up, adorned in his new leather jacket and the bruises courtesy of Bishop’s newfound mental illness. Sally is not going to waste an opportunity to talk about herself, though, and explains her realization to Aidan, seemingly just not taking an interest in his serious and visible disfigurement. That’s Sally for you. Aidan, having had enough with people’s banal temper tantrums manifesting in violence, wants to go and pay Sally’s fiance a visit. She makes sad screams, though, so he decides to go to Church instead. Vampire priest begins talking about how Adam and Eve were vampires, in addition to Jesus, and Aidan remarks that the guy is seriously, totally crazy. He proceedes to rip out Vampire Priest’s fangs, which is apparently irreversible, and fatal because, I guess he can’t think of any other way to draw blood from people? Again, monitoring when these people are upset for a rational reason, and when they’re just having their confusing manic depressive stints is very difficult for the viewer. While Aidan laments being surrounded by crazy people, Sally goes and rearranges her fiance’s apartment, which will take a rather long time to tidy up. That’ll teach him to murder people.
I didn’t mention Josh until now because, again, he sort of takes a backseat to everything else. He continues hanging out with Ray, the dirty redneck werewolf that’s been mentoring him. Aidan and Sally want him gone, but are generally too busy with their own stuff to interfere. Josh, being the nice guy that he is, goes and visits patients on his days off, which impresses the pretty blond girl that he sexually harassed last week. She seems to have taken a liking to him at the end of the episode, though, because she pantomimes shooting herself on the head to him while in the midst of a particularly boring phone call. Or, maybe, she just can’t stand the sight of him. It’s not entirely clear. Anyway, Ray confronts him about how he’s the werewolf that attacked Josh all those years ago, and sees this as grounds for them being best friends. Josh disagrees, being somewhat horrified and twitchy, cutting ties with Ray and returns home to make dinner for everyone. Or, really, himself since the other two don’t eat, or have meaningful conversations with people outside their plotlines.