So Cute They Kill: Horrific Stuffed Animals at the Con


It’s almost impossible to wade through all that’s for sale at Comic-Con San Diego. There are Doctor Who water bottles, Fringe fedoras, cos-play wigs, steam punk corsets and, of course, killer stuffed animals. Fearnet walked the floor and rounded up a few toys that are frightfully adorable, and perfect for either you or your tiny terrors.  Warning: If you keep them in bed with you, you might want to leave the light on at night.

Teddy Scares - Night quite the bear you grew up with, but pretty lovables none-the-less. Teddy Scares are a misfit bunch of patchwork teddy bears with seriously rough pasts. Eli Wretch was “bought as a souvenir at a highway rest stop for a trucker son.” He was quickly kicked to the curb. Granger Evermore “is a captive of his own evil deeds.” Mazy Podge’s creator died out of sheer horror from the patchwork mess she’s created.

Vamplets - Imagine a baby who wants to suck your blood, eat your brains, or give you rabies. Then imagine how cute they can be. Now you have vamplets. This year's comic-con offerings include a zombie guinea pig, wereroach, and werewolf baby. They're just begging to cuddle you to death. Bloody baby bottle sold seperately.

OhiYa Friends - Friends might not quite be the right word for these plush cuties. The brainchildren of John Tharp, Ohiya Friends include Zombuddiez, who will "eat your heart eat." Koki, pictured here, lost his nine lives in one fell swoop and has returned to purr again. No need to buy kibble, this kitty eats brains.

Plush Chucky - Doll or not, Chucky’s  not such a good guy. But, really, under his gruff exterior there’s a body filled with cushion-y huggable stuffing.  And what about Jigsaw? He’s just crying out for your attention and love. Now, you can take these pint-sized serial killers with you anywhere. Creepy Cuddlers is offering Chucky and Jigsaw and two varieties: cuddle-size and clip on.

Skelanimals - They’re skeletons, they’re animals.  What could be cuter or creepier? It’s all the fun of having animals, with none of the troublesome feeding and care. These lazybones are the most devoted pets. They just want to hang around, will follow you to the ends of the earth, and even beyond the grave.

Zombie Chtulhu - More terrifying than even a man-octopus-dragon trapped in the deep. This is Chtulhu, back from the dead, hungry for brains. And hugs. You can thank Evil Stevie’s Toys for calling him back from the watery depths. Now he’s looking for a home.

Tofu the Vegan Zombie - He’s technically not a plush toy, but Tofu the Vegan zombie deserves a mention. While he doesn’t eat brains, he does make you cook him Satan … Sorry, seitan.  He’s a product of a botched experiment of Professor Vost, who believes him to be the key to solving the zombie epidemic. Even if he can’t save humanity, Tofu has a lot of love to give.