Billy walked down the hall to a closet and opened it. He reached way in the back of the closet behind old coats and jackets and took out a double barrel shotgun. Then he reached on the top shelf,feeling around to the back of the shelf. He found a few cartridges,and he opened the gun,loaded it,then slammed it's chamber closed. He paraded back to the bedroom door. He kicked the door open. The visitor,Sean Stephens,one of Billy's best friends, turned his head while on top of Lorraine. She looked out from underneath,her throat became suddenly dry as she spoke,almost in a raspy voice. she cleared her throat then swallowed. "Billy ! I didn't hear you!"Lorraine was interrupted by her husband. He yelled,"You two-timing [bitch]! Get up! Get up!" As he aimed the shotgun at both of them,Lorraine pushed Sean away and wrapped herself with the covers. Sean tried to get dressed. "There must be some sort of misunderstanding," Sean said. Billy folded in his bottom lip then lowered the gun. "I'll be right back. Don't move ,"he said,and he quickly walked out slamming the door. "Where do you think he went ?What, is he gonna kill us?" Sean excitedly asked. Billy returned within less than a minute to find Sean trying to raise a window. "I wouldn't do that if I were you,"Billy said. "Here,take this rope and shears," billy angrily said. "What am I gonna do with it?"Sean asked. "Tie the bitch up. Tie her legs and hands and tie them good and tight," Billy said. Billy kept the gun pointed Sean while he cut pieces of rope and tied Lorraine's legs and hands together ."Now what?" sean asked ,with exhaustion in his voice. There were several large brown paper bags from the food they had ordered earlier on the floor. Billy's eyes looked like they were about to pop from anger. "Pick that up,the big bag,and go sit on the bed." Sean picked up the bag and sat down on the foot of the bed. Lorraine sat back against the headboard too frightened to speak. "what are you gonna do? don't kill me1 Please! Look ,maybe we can talk this out !" Sean said,trying to reason with Billy . "Put the [bag] over your head!" Billy demanded. "what are you gonna do?" Sean nervously asked. Billy raised the gun and aimed. "Put the Goddamn bag over your head, I said." Lorraine broke from her silence. "Please,Billy,don't kill him!" Billy aimed for Sean's crotch. "I should blow your fucking balls off," Billy said now raising the nose of the gun. The paper bag shook on Sean's head as he shook along with it. Then billy yelled."Motherfucker you !"and fired. The blast took off part of Seans's head. Lorraine screamed as she was immediately covered in a spray of blood and brains. Brains were all over the bed and Lorraine looked like some kind of strawberry swirl and whipped cream with pieces of broken bone and paper bag mixed together. Billy stood there holding the smoking gun,not flinching the slightest bit. "Now you,"Billy angrily said. Billy walked over to his wife and grabbed her by the arm. "Come on,bitch. Let's go," Written by DEADCRAZY
THE HOUSE THAT SCREAMED>>>>>>>CONTINUED
Noooooooo but still pretty great
THE HOUSE THAT SCREAMED>>>>>>>CONTINUED
Well this is a great piece i love how you go back and tap into Billy's past so the reader can be aware of his sins and somehow while weighing in on him and connect with him i love your descriptions of everything its like you really were their in tthat psychiatric institue i love that
Plus you detailed the atmosphere perfectly capturing the uneasy mood in this piece the end hints to the title for me a lot i'd just like to know what happens to the wife for her actions since her betrayal has pushed Billy over the edge great piece i would just like to see how you note the ghostly encounters
Re: THE HOUSE THAT SCREAMED>>>>>>>CONTINUED
WOW... DID U WRITE THAT?
RE: The House That Screamed >>>>>>> Continued
WOW!!! That really blew me away. You took me right into the story. Read what he did to his best friend but left us hangin about what he's gonna do with his wife. I'd really would like to read more, since my curisosity is peaked. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO HIS WIFE??!!
Bravo! *continously appaulding* {sry, I cant spell 4shit lol}
That was fuckin' great! Please tell me your gonna post the rest of it! Again, one thing I love about how you write--you leave your audience on edge! Brillant food for the masses! I also love the fact that its a story within a story...these types are my favs....that compared with the way that you build up your plot and its events, you've become a new favortie writer of mine...and I haven't even completed any of your work yet. That states alot man. I can't fuckin' way for more! The only thing I'd say that you'd have to work on is going back for grammatical errors, only small shit though...nothin' to freak over...just minor captials placements that need fixin'...nothing insane. Peace, love and vicodin!
PS: Can you tell me what the [] thing is about? I see that alot in novels...with objects only...why is that? {also, keep in mind that i'm a screenplay writer...so as you reply on that probably dumb question....please, don't bash me on it.} Lol.
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