Jason Vorhees. We've seen this psychopath conquer hell, Manhattan and even Elm Street! And, as you all very well know, on Friday, February 13, 2009 Platinum Dunes brought Jason's burned, drowned, toxic-waste-doused, electrocuted, mutilated, hockey-masked face back to the big screen for a $50 million opening weekend. This week sees the DVD release of not only Platinum Dunes' relaunch, but the deluxe edition DVDs of three films in the original classic series: Friday the 13th Parts IV, V, and VI. What better time to reflect on the films that earned Mr. Voorhees so much fame? And what better way than to rank all 10 original Friday the 13th films in all their topless, bloody, impaled-through-a-tree-stump glory?

Read on for our top 10, and let us know where you think Platinum Dunes' new Friday should rank!

#10 Jason X
Why is this film #10 on the list? Two words: Uber-Jason. As the theatrical poster said, 'Evil gets an upgrade.' Really? Because we wouldn't dare call turning an iconic character into a metal faced mockery an upgrade. It's easy to imagine the writers sitting around, asking each other what the hepcat kiddos watch these days. 'Science Fiction!' one must have blurted, 'With spaceships and lasers and nanotechnology!' We don't want to hate any Friday the 13th movie, but sometimes, New Line, you make us. Though the gore and effects are fairly cool (like Kristi Angus getting her face frozen in liquid nitrogen and the virtual reality trip back to Crystal Lake), and it does feature an awesome David Cronenberg cameo, this movie doesn't 'get it' in a big way. It's more like a subpar episode of Babylon 5 (is there any other kind of episode of Babylon 5?) than a Friday the 13th flick, besides, you just don't take Jason's beautiful hockey masked face and make him look like Shredder (from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles) with acne, you just don't! 

#9 Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan
Though Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan is often regarded (by fans) as the worst film in the franchise (and we mean that kindly, ehh maybe not), you must admit, there are a few things about little Jason Voorhees in the big city that prevent this joketastic film from taking the #10 spot on our list. Coming in at #9, Jason Takes Manhattan ironically lacked quite a bit of the 'Manhattan-taking' (Jason doesn't even show up in the Big Apple until well over an hour into the film). After being revived by an electric charge from an underwater cable, Jason's blood-soaked journey TO New York sort of makes up for any Time Square slayings we missed out on. On his way to the Big Apple, Jason, (played by fan-favorite Kane Hodder) pulled out all the stops, seamlessly disposing of a couple getting-it-on. And while the massacre of promiscuous campers is his usual M.O., Jason takes a break from his nubile-camper-killing ways, to board the Lazarus and pick off nearly the entire load of freshly graduated high-schoolers. As we all know, nearly just isn't enough and Jason chases down the survivors through the streets of Manhattan until he's fatally doused in toxic waste and decides to join Troma's Toxic Crusaders in the noble fight against alien polluters? Well maybe not, but that would have been a hell of a lot more interesting than the crap we ended up with? 

#8 Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday
When will they learn!? If you're going to call an installment of Friday the 13th the 'Final' anything, you'd better damn well make sure it is! There are a fair amount of things wrong with this installment beyond the false nomenclature. For one, we open with Jason getting bested by the FBI. The FBI? Really? Jason's been slaughtering kids unnoticed at a well known campground for over a decade, and he can't handle his body being riddled with bullets? Isn't he a terrible monster man with incredible strength? And why would he even fall for the trap in the first place? Beyond the ridiculous FBI subplot, the whole movie is set in motion when a coroner is hypnotized by Jason's black heart and eats it. What about this seemed like a good (or even tasty) idea? I don't even want to talk about the little monster that explodes from Randy's neck and crawls into Diana (or the entry point it chooses to do so). Apart from the ridiculousness and twisting of plot, the biggest problem with this movie is that Jason, as the huge hulking form we've come to love, appears in this movie only briefly (usually when the people's bodies he has entered look into a mirror) while Erin Gray cleans her 'silver spoons' as a diner waitress. Who the hell would want to see a Friday the 13th film without Jason? At least in Part V the killer was still wearing Jason's mask! 

#7 Friday the 13th Part V: A New Beginning
The fifth in the series, A New Beginning had a tough act to follow. Not only was Part IV one of the best in the franchise, but it also boasted a final and definitive end to the series. A New Beginning follows quickly after the events of IV, with a grown up Tommy stuck in a halfway house. Jason-esque killings begin to crop up around him, but with Jason good and dead (with worms coming out of his head) the question of who is donning the famous mask becomes the focus. And while a lot of people discard it for not featuring the 'real' Jason as the killer, it still kept the flavor of the original installments. Just look at some of the kills this film boasts! The faux-Jason shoves a flare down a kid's throat, a young lad's head is crushed by a belt around a tree, and, best of all a young girl dances the robot (to 'His Eyes' by Pseudo Echo!) alone in her room before getting stabbed in the gut! Not to mention the brief but awesome chainsaw vs. machete sword fight! And we haven't even gotten into the rampant nudity, bandana wearing gang members and that 35 year old 'kid' with his chocolate bars! All in all this Friday is missing the key ingredient, Jason, but wasn't Part 1 mostly missing him as well? 

#6 Friday the 13th Part 3-D
Now here we come to a difficult to measure entry into the franchise. Sure, it was lackluster, and attempted to use that early, clunky 3D gimmick, but it wasn't without its charms. The plot was nothing special, and followed Jason doing what he does best, killing chumps and horny teenagers. There were a few interesting deaths, like when Jason shoots an arrow through a dude's eye, or when he squeezes a guy by the head so hard that his eyeball pops out. Jason must have had pink eye in this installment, and was taking out his frustration on the kids. Plus, above all else, this is the one where Jason dons his famous hockey mask. Check it out in 3-D if you ever get a chance and groove to that awesome Manfredini disco era opening theme. For some it may be hard to imagine that it took three flicks to get his iconic look down, but fashion is an exercise in patience, is it not? 

#5 Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood
As if the OLD blood weren?t viciously sadistic enough, Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood takes on a new level of convoluted killers when telekinetic Tina makes the biggest uh-oh we've ever seen. While attempting to resurrect her dead father whose body rests conveniently (for Jason and no one else) in Crystal Lake, Tina actually resurrects the presumptive killer, a subhuman Jason Voorhees. While Jason goes on his usual rampage (a knife thrust here, a body thrown there) Tina channels her telekinetic powers (those powers that got her in trouble in the first place) to squeeze Jason's head and stop him from his murderous path. To her dismay, it doesn't quite stop him, but merely breaks his famed hockey mask revealing Jason's mutilated and grotesquely hideous face (god, where is that burlap sack when you need it?). But alas, telekinetic Tina unknowingly resurrects her dead dad who wrangles the un-wranglable Jason and futilely chains him to a boulder at the bottom of the Lake. Ha! Until next time? Let's be honest, this Carrie vs. Jason knock off is silly at best, but who didn't have a crush on Lar Park Lincoln back in the day? And with effects by underrated master John Carl Bucheler this Friday is definitely worth a second, third or fourth look. Here's hoping we'll one day see the unrated version of that topless chick in the tent being split in half. Momma would be proud. 

#4 Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives
Presumed dead from Part V of the franchise, Jason took a back seat to the carnage for a while. That was until Tommy (with the help of Ron Palillo AKA Horshack from Welcome Back Kotter), who in Part IV hacked Jason to fatal pieces, decided that he needed to physically destroy the body of Jason to secure his imminent place in hell. But instead of hell, Jason was revived by a lightening bolt and began again on a path of an unstoppable massacre, tearing through the town of Forest Green, which ironically looked a hell of a lot like Crystal Lake (shh). In Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives, Jason stops at nothing to quench his vengeful thirst and get his hands on the ultimately self-sacrificing Tommy. From the opening credits sequence that pulls from James Bond, to the multiple murders and glossed over look, this is a Friday film for the ages. The best part though? Jason's face shredded by a motor boat propeller and even that can't keep him down. Pshhh this guy. 

#3 Friday the 13th Part II
After the decapitation and confirmed death of Pamela-mommy-Voorhees, Friday the 13th Part II starts off with the slaying of the first film's sole survivor, Alice, and the massacre of the wise old Crazy Ralph. Full of fake-out and jump scares Part II also packs some real scares and some awesome kills...not to mention that in this film, Jason actually slips into the killer role for the first time, and pre-hockey mask, dons a burlap sack as his cover (rightfully so if you remember the hideously disfigured kid from the original film). In the second of the franchise, the unsuspecting camp counselor trainees who once basked in the glory of Camp Crystal Lake's irreparable, rundown aesthetic soon experienced a vengeful Jason who, to avenge his mother's death, picked off each trainee one by one. It isn't until a terrifyingly iconic scene, in which Jason heaved an unsuspecting trainee named Ginny, clear through the 's unstoppable murderous victories actually began! 

#2 Friday the 13th
Ah, the original Friday the 13th! This is the big mama (so to speak) of the series and the movie that started it all. It may not have been the first, but it paved the way for exploitative slashers, and a long franchise of inventive kills. By now every self respecting horror fan should know the drill: unsuspecting teens stalked and murdered by a mysterious killer, who turns out to be Pamela Voorhees, mother of the (apparently) murdered Jason Voorhees. Aside from setting the whole franchise in motion, this film boasted some fantastic kills, including one of the most startling looking (even by today's standards) throat slits and Kevin Bacon getting a spear through his neck! And who can forget old mommy dearest getting her head cleaved straight off! We love this movie, and think only one in the franchise surpasses it. 

#1 Friday the 13th Part IV: The Final Chapter
Often regarded as the greatest Friday the 13th film (and one of the best slasher films ever), with an all-star genre cast like Crispin Glover and Corey Feldman, Friday the 13th Part IV: The Final Chapter easily makes #1 on our list. In Part IV, while paramedics tend to the ridiculous limb-scattered bloodshed of Part III, the presumed dead Jason Voorhees is actually carted off to the morgue where the not so down for the count (as always) killer starts off with a little brutal massacre and an escape back to Crystal Lake just to get him started. And once he's recharged, the insanity ensues, and the unfortunate group of camping friends get the Camp Crystal Lake greeting: spear-gun shot to the crotch, a skinny dipping stabbing, meat cleaver-ed face, corkscrewed crucifixion, and good ol' fashion impalement. And what's a slasher film without a little nudity? Part IV has it all, skinny dipping twins, bonanza bloodshed and scrawny Tommy, played by Feldman, who creates his own creature FX in his bedroom and ultimately shaves his head bald only to slam a machete straight into Jason's face! The final moments of the film in which Jason falls to the ground and slowly slides down the machete blade is pure Tom Savini gold and easily one of the best effects in horror film history. 

Honorable Mention: Freddy Vs. Jason
This long delayed dream team match up deserves at least a nod on our list. The premise works well enough for us, as it follows a severely weakened Freddy Krueger using Jason to reinstall fear in the hearts of Springwood. When Jason won't stop killing, Freddy throws down and one of the most anticipated battles in horror history ensues. Sure, it has its problems (aka Kelly Rowland), but this film delivered where it could've very easily floundered. We get battles in Springwood, Camp Crystal Lake, and the dream world! Now, has anyone seen that Myers boy?