I really love how anytime mainstream culture decides to celebrate horror it’s done to the gaudiest, most offensive, back-assward extreme that one could possibly fathom.  Oh wait, that’s what I absolutely f***in’ hate about the mainstream – that they can’t get anything right and the people enjoying other kinds of art are forced to suffer their “best intentions.”  After rumors that Billy Bob Thornton could possibly step into the role of Freddy Kruger nearly gave me a mild heart attack this summer, I had the good fortune of literally having a heart attack two weeks later when MTV announced that they would be “updating” (read “mutilating”) 70’s cult classic The Rocky Horror Picture Show.

Now the latest form of sacrilege that the machine is planning to pump out at a billion units a week and mass manufacture for all the sad, sad people of planet Earth is a Broadway musical adapt of the Brett Easton Ellis novel American Psycho.  According to the Hollywood Reporter no director, book writer or songwriters have yet been brought on board the project, but producers say they're in early talks with some potential dramatists and hope to stage by 2010 with an eye for Broadway – so yeah… it’s happening.  Fortunately for all of us, not only is this terrible idea already really terrible but producers of the musical are planning to “snazz” up this project with original 1980s-inspired songs and familiar covers of hits from the era.  Remember that scene from Silence of Lambs where Buffalo Bill dances in the mirror with his sack tucked back to “Goodbye Horses”?  Yeah, well this plans to be that – only for the duration of three and a half hours.  I think I’m gonna be sick…