What’s worse…having a witch turn you into a toadstool or having a witch turn you into Ron Perlman?  Hmmm...  Well, according to Variety, the cast members of Dominic Sena’s upcoming supernatural-thriller Season of the Witch may not have the luxury of choosing.  Yes, three-time winner of the Most Handsome Man in the Galaxy Award and fanboy baiter Ron Perlman has attached himself alongside the likes of three-time winner of Most Receded Hairline In the Galaxy Award and the face of another fiery superhero, Ghost Rider Nicolas Cage.  Witch, written by Bragi Schut, tells the story of 14th century knights transporting a girl suspected of being a witch responsible for spreading the Black Plague.

How this could be a thriller I really have no idea, as it sounds about as exciting as watching Ingmar Bergman watch the Seventh Seal in solitary confinement (which come to think of it, excites me personally very much!) but Dominic “I’m Skilled At Making Quite the Outlandish Movie” Sena (Gone In Sixty Seconds, Swordfish) is at the helm, so I’m sure that, by the film’s end, some elaborate, computer-based world-domination scheme will have been hatched while Nic Cage and Ronaldo chase each other around in BMW 6-Series.  So it’ll be Neil Marshall’s Doomsday...  The film rolls cameras next month in Austria and Hungary.