Gift Guide

Holiday Chopping List: Top Tees

up
18

T-shirts are the building blocks for any good wardrobe. It's not the kind of thing that "everyone has one" of. Everyone has a dozen of them. Some people base their entire wardrobe around t-shirts. Like jeans, you can never have too many t-shirts. They are inexpensive, easy to size, and make the perfect gift. Below are ten of our all-time favorite creepy tees from our gift guide.

Sad Psycho

Being a psychopath can be sad and lonely.  No one understands that sometimes when you walk in with a bloody severed head under your arm, sometimes you need a hug.  Wear your mental illness on your sleeve with this "Sad Psycho" tee.  Use it to identify other sad psychos -- maybe you can form a support group.  "Sad Psycho" is available both as a t-shirt and a zip-up hoodie, for both guys and gals.  This is a reprint of the Threadless classic, so grab it while it is still in stock!

$18 to $40 at Threadless.com

Edgar Allan Poe

"I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity," wrote Edgar Allan Poe once of his mental state.  Many can relate to the mind-numbing madness of having to face life with one's full faculties intact, so why not slap that slogan on a t-shirt and proclaim to the world the overrated quality of mental cohesion? It probably won't win you any job promotions or romantic attention from the opposite sex, unless someone is willing to grant you extra credit for citing literary references, but at least you'll look cool, in a creepy loner kind of way.

Available in either t-shirt or tank top style.

$14.99 and $24.95 at The Pyramid Collection

Lou Pine's Beer

This Lou Pine's Beer tee is the perfect way to celebrate your fandom without looking like a tool.  The cleverly-obvious name of the True Blood werewolf bar and beer allows you to wave your were-flag without wearing a tee that has three wolves howling at the moon.  Far more interesting than a standard logo shirt or - worse - a cast photo shirt (hello 1985), this Lou Pine's shirt will offer a wink to fellow Trubies without labeling you a geek.

$24.99 at HBO.com

Eat at Joe's 

What could be more American than roadside diners and zombies?  Artist Steve Thomas combines these two comfortingly creepy motifs into one, kick-ass t-shirt.  See, it's a zombie waitress, and instead of telling you to Eat at Joe's, she wants you to Eat Joe.  Get it?  Thomas is a commercial artist and illustrator who, while not sketching for the man is creating fantastic intergalactic travel posters and video game propaganda done in mid-century modern.  Psst!  The tees are also available in girl sizes.

$27.55 at Zazzle.com

Know Your Zombies

"Know Thine Enemy." In case of the zombie apocalypse, being able to quickly identify your zombie attacker will help you decide the best way to lay waste to them, thereby increasing your chances of survival. The crawlers, having little left of their original body, can essentially be squashed under your heel. Sneak attack is easy with the shamblers, who are broken, battered shells of their zombie selves. Walkers pose a bit more of a problem, as they can see any attack coming. Your best bet against a runner is a firearm, so keep that ammo handy. Thrillers are most dangerous if they hear a funky beat, so stay out of the nightclubs.

$15.99 at ThinkGeek.com

Friday the 12th

We've all felt that disappointment. You get all dressed up in your best killing fatigues, shine up your hockey mask, and sharpen your machete... then you realize that Friday the thirteenth is next month. Share the pain with this cute tee - then spread the pain with your machete (metaphorically, of course).

$19.95 at SnorgTees.com

Zombies Kill People

A shirt that would make Charlton Heston proud.  In the new world order, it will be true: "Guns don't kill people.  Zombies kill people.  Guns kill zombies."  It is the best defense of gun ownership I have ever seen.  While you are checking out this shirt, check out the seller's other items.  With a store name like Zed's Zombie Ranch, you are not likely to find faerie wings.

$18 at Etsy.com

Blood Diner

We've all been to those creepy roadside diners with the mysterious "meatloaf," the waitress that is just a few short steps away from becoming a zombie, and the distinct feeling that you could become the next blue plate special. Even if you don't remember the 1987 horror/comedy Blood Diner, you can still enjoy this wacky tee - and hopefully gross out your dining companions at the same time.

$19.95 at Fright-Rags.com

Worst Case Scenario

You're walking down a dark alley, maybe on the way home from baseball practice.  You hear a noise.  Metal on concrete.  Shuffling footsteps.  Dripping goo.  You stop, then you laugh to yourself.  This is real life.  What could possibly be behind you?  This tee shirt gives you an idea.

$14.99 at CrazyDogTshirts.com

Best Friends Forever

Casper gets a buddy on this T-shirt by artist Melinda Santillan, who designs under the label Adieu. Specifically inspired by the "ghost friends of her childhood," the tee comes from a collection inspired by, among other things, "funeral flowers, pinatas, Baudelaire, and true crime TV."  These are a few of my favorite things.

$121 at NotJustALabel.com

 

<none>