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Fear Forecast: What Will 2013 Bring For Your Favorite TV Shows?

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Let’s ruminate on where some of our favorite TV shows will end up in 2013.

american horror story asylumAmerican Horror Story

The show is a little bit of a trainwreck, so let’s take it all the way. I want the next season to be set  in a summer camp in 1981. Yes, fans will complain it is a Friday the 13th/Sleepaway Camp/Cheerleader Camp/The Burning/etc. knock-off, but so what? Jessica Lange could be the head of the camp, and in addition to a machete-wielding maniac on the loose, you could have a very human bullying story, and a very non-human “creature in the lake” story. Maybe Jessica Lange is in cahoots with the maniac and they are serving the campers the flesh of the victims.

My second choice for the next American Horror Story? A haunted roller disco, circa 1974.

dexterDexter

I think that Deb, after shooting Laguerta in cold blood, is going to crack under the pressure. Eventually, I think she is going to confess - or try to confess, and Dexter is going to do anything and everything to keep her from doing so. Season eight may be the final season; it may not.

Either way, I have been struggling with how I would want to see the show end. There are three possible ways for the show to end: Dexter is killed, Dexter dies, or Dexter runs. I don’t like any of those options.

Teen Wolf

The first half of the Teen Wolf season two finale was awesome. The second half sucked monkey dick. Since they can’t go back and rewrite the end of the season, where should they go to bring it back to awesome? Honestly, I liked the path that (most) of the characters were on already: Gerard over-the-edge crazy, and bringing down Alison with him; Chris begrudgingly working with Scott to save his daughter; a new pack of wolves moving in. I think that season two was too soon to bring in a weird, experimental creature like the kanima; let’s go back to basics with werewolves, and just make them more interesting and vicious. As far as writing Jackson out of the show (actor Colton Haynes is not returning) I would be just as happy to open season three with the kids attending his funeral and leaving it at that.

The Vampire Diaries

As The Vampire Diaries was winding down for the winter hiatus, the show was finally starting to edge away from the teenage melodrama it had spent most of the season wallowing in. I am thinking that Professor Shane is going to use Bonnie’s power, Jeremy’s mark, and Hayley’s vulnerability to build an army of zombies. But classy zombies - not with rotting skin or anything gross (this is the CW, after all.) Maybe Hayley’s real parents are the Gilberts...? Maybe not, but there has to be something “shocking” there because they are making a big deal out of Hayley’s need for the truth about her birth parents. I want to see Caroline hookup with Klaus. They are cute together, and Tyler is being a douche. And holy hell, please put an end to this Elena-Stefan-Damon-Twilight bullshit.

The Walking Dead

Since season three is pretty much done with, let’s look at season four. What is going to happen now that showrunner Glen Mazzara is gone? Two showrunners in three seasons is not a good record. I don’t know who was responsible for season two (Mazzara or co-creator Frank Darabont; I suspect a little of both) but it was terrible (the last few episodes redeemed it.) Season three has been outstanding. What kind of differences could Mazzara and AMC have had that would have caused him to leave? Did AMC want the show to pull back? This season has definitely been boundary-pushing (Lori and T-Dog killed off early in the season; increased human-on-human violence; the loss of hope when Milton and the Governor discover the walkers have absolutely no humanity left) and if it follows the comics, you can count on an even more brutal second half of season three. If brutality is the issue, and AMC is pulling away, they may have just shot themselves in the foot. If money was the core issue, AMC is going to have to learn that, if they want to play in the deep end with HBO, they are going to have pony up like HBO. If it was a personality thing, stop being high-schoolers and give us our show back!

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