Here at FEARnet we love all things Halloween. We love the decorations, the haunted houses, the candy corn, and, most of all, we love everyone's crazy costumes. But as we learned while doing a little shopping ourselves this year, when it comes to Halloween costumes there is such a thing as too crazy. We've broken down some of the craziest outfits and costumes that are currently on sale. Some costumes are scary, some are sexy, others are silly, some are just downright offensive… and then there are these head-scratchers!
For some ungodly reason, the skin-tight "Morphsuit" is all the rage this year. These one-piece, flesh-clinging, non-flattering body suits saw a recent spike in popularity (probably thanks to the prominence of the "Green Man" character in the TV sitcom It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia). What started as a plain green bodysuit sweeping the nation has now branched off into horror (hooray!). And what we're left with is this absurd looking "zombie" in silver and black. Yikes. If this is what the zombie apocalypse is going to end up looking like, we think we'll just "opt out."
So you and your buddy, significant other, or loved one want to go out this Halloween wearing a couple costume. Sure, why not? And while you're at it why not make sure that costume is a hyper-realistic looking sandwich, right? We love the sheen on the jelly, we love the attention to detail in the composition of the peanut butter, and we love that, with this pick, there's weird enough for two. Of course, this writer is pre-disposed to liking bread-based costumes (he demanded, at age two, that he go as "toast" for Halloween).
When you think of skeletons you think of inflatable balloons, right? Yeah, neither do we. Here's one skeleton you won't be able to hide in your closet! This bouncing, bumping, ballooning costume is totally weird. Maybe it's just a variation on a theme. Or maybe this blow-up bag of bones is the antithesis to all those weird "morphsuits." Either way, we love how audaciously bizarre this self-inflating skeleton costume remains. And the whole self-inflating bit? That'll be a hit at any party.
Huh? This one is, for sure, a puzzling costume. Okay, so let's try and really break it down here. Let's try and figure out what we're looking at. You, the person dressed in this costume, are a gas-mask wearing, funnel holding, flatulence measuring machine? Is that right? Or are you supposed to be some sort of meter reader, with your mask and gear, and the meter is something that you check? Or maybe… okay, no, we'll stop. We've already thought harder about this costume than all the people buying it and the people who made it… combined!
Ahh… of all the classic "sexy lady" costumes, none are more iconic than the "Imperial Dragon," right? Forget the "sexy witch," "sexy vampire," and all other attempts to sexual the holiday. When you wanna feel hot on Halloween reach for the, uh… scaly Imperial Dragon costume? We didn't find many strange costumes for women, but this is definitely a weird one. It's not the first iconography that comes to mind when we think "Halloween Costume," but hey - we guess there truly is something for everyone.
So, you say you want to be a scary pumpkin this Halloween? Okay, we get that. We suppose, with movies like Pumpkinhead, that request isn't too outlandish. But this costume is weird for so many reasons. First, that smiling, toothy, slobber tongue face just screams corny horror. Second, look at those crazy root hands! Third, and most importantly, is the price. This creepy costume, which we doubt anyone's really clambering over, clocks in at a cool three hundred dollars! What!? And the person underneath still has to bring their own denim jeans? Weirdest rip-off of the year!
Do you want to be funny? Or tough? Or a giant turd? If you answered yes to all three of these questions then the "Tough S**T" costume is for you! Except, of course, for the fact that this costume isn't really all that funny. In fact, aside from being generally disgusting, it's also completely insane. Never before has a play on words, or a turning of a popular phrase, led to such a steaming pile of… Never mind. If you really want to confuse the neighborhood this Halloween look no further than this shitty costume.
Let's finish this off with a fan-favorite. Everyone loves Freddy Krueger, right? The dream stalking, soul-snatching monster from the Nightmare on Elm Street franchise is an always-popular Halloween costume. But this sweater accessory is so specific it's bound to leave those uninitiated with the franchise staring at you sideways. Sure, everyone remembers the green and red sweater. Everyone remembers the burnt face and the fedora. But how many non-die hard fans remember the souls Freddy keeps trapped in his body? It's an awesome scene, but it makes for a truly strange costume accessory. And accessory is the key word here, as it's just the sweater and chest of souls. No mask, no glove, no fedora… none of that's strange enough for this costume!