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News Article

20 'Human Centipede' Knockoffs

The cult movie of the year is Dutch director Tom Six’s The Human Centipede (First Sequence), a ready-made midnight movie about a sadistic madman who surgically attaches three people together, mouth to the business end of the gastrointestinal system. A "human centipede." While not as graphically violent as, say, Hostel, it is revolting, disturbing, and devoid of any social purpose (although it does teach a valuable lesson about teamwork).

A sequel to this independent horror hit is already in the works. In the meantime, we suspect that more than a few producers around town are planning to cash in by making almost the same picture with a different name. Haven't we already seen a thousand copycat slashers follow in Jason's bloody footsteps?

Here are twenty ready-made The Human Centipede knockoff ideas, movies with the same basic formula of a mad surgeon deforming humans to build a really messed-up pet. All are self-explanatory - we think - save for one.  Enjoy them free of charge. Thank us later, entertainment industry.

1. The Human Jellyfish
2. The Human Bidet
3. The Human Stadium Wave
4. The Human Éclair
5. The Human Log
6. The Human Firefly
7. The Human Beast With Two Backs
8. The Human Blowout Converter
9. The Human Kangaroo
10. The Human Curtain
11. The Human Siamese Eels
12. The Human Kraken
13. The Human Backpack
14. The Human Hairless Mole-Rat
15. The Human Muppet
16. The Human Octo-bear
17. The Human Jungle Gym
18. The Human Who Has Hands For Feet, And Feet For Hands
19. The Human Peacock
20. Pixar's The Littlest Human Centipede