News Article

News Article

Even Chuck Norris Has Never Coughed Up a Tumor

I usually don't like to draw attention to real-life horror, if only because it's often kind of boring, or just plain sad. But every once in a while a story comes along that's so awesome and bizarre it's like attending a tea party with Alice, the Mad Hatter, and the March Hare... if they were played by Bjork, Udo Kier and Gary Busey. Such is the case of a UK woman who just saved her own life by coughing out a tumor. Check out the story after the jump, if you've already eaten lunch. has the full story about this mother of six whose loogie turned out to be cancer...

"According to ABC's Medical Unit blog, 37-year-old Claire Osborn was just driving along on the wrong side of the road like a normal, everyday British person when she felt a tickling sensation at the back of her throat. The tickle escalated into a five minute full-on hacking fit that ended with her feeling something dislodge and fly out of her mouth. Upon examination, she discovered that it was a tiny strip of liver colored tissue, which she threw away. The next day, her son was with her when the coughing began anew, but this time, the tissue she coughed up was about an inch long and heart-shaped."

"Concerned that coughing up pieces of her own flesh might mean that there were some medical shenanigans afoot, Osborn took her hackings to her doctor, who performed a biopsy on the tissue. Turns out, she'd expectorated some metastatic adenocarcinoma, which is doctor language for "she spat up an aggressive, deadly cancer that probably originated at the back of her mouth." They told her she'd need chemotherapy and gave her 50% odds of surviving, but when they scanned her for remaining cancer cells, there were none to be found."

Yikes. I'm gonna go get me a gallon of expactorant at CVS right now. You can never be too careful.

Note: Thanks to author, editor, and FEARnet contributor Del Howison for bringing this to our attenion.