Phobia Friday: Chirophobia - FEAR of hands
Sure knives, guns, chainsaws, lawnmowers - any manner of machine - are great for going to town on an unsuspecting victim. But sometimes you want to make the evil moment that much more personal; really take it into your own hands... or arms.. or brains. That's where evil appendages come in handy. They could be possessed by a demon, have been zombie-fied, or re-animated - whatever the scenario, you're cutting out the middle man while you're cutting others up and you can't beat that.
To celebrate the creative limbs that care enough to kill the very best, here is Fearnet's list of movies featuring the 10 Baddest Body Parts to ever hit the big screen.
10. "eXistenZ" - Have you ever played your favorite video game for so long that you feel like you're living it? Well, in "eXistenZ" you really are. And when the video game is actually part of your body, it only makes sense that your bone gun should shoot teeth.
9. "Teeth" - Speaking of killer teeth, have you ever heard of a Vagina Dentata? If not, you can learn a whole lot about it in this cautionary tale for pushy teenage boys. Dawn O'Keefe's social life plays out like some kind of gruesome after school special when her romantic relations end up a bloody mess after attempting to "slide into home."
8." Mad Love" - This Peter Lorre classic is one of the original tales of demonic hands. A love lorn and insane surgeon grafts the hands of a knife-wielding killer onto the arms of a beautiful and gifted pianist. (You know,..the usual.) Unfortunately for the doctor, the hands remember where they came from. Note: This is actually how Liberace got his start.
7. "Idle Hands" - Anton Tobias finds the truth behind that idle hands being the devil's playthings saying when his lazy, bong-holding hand becomes a demonic vessel. He also finds out the cutting off his hand doesn't help, it just makes the hand very, very angry. And when the hand gets angry, it terrorizes prom.
6. "Body Parts" - Even if former murderers can't become useful members of society again, it stands to reason that their body parts can help people who have lost a limb. Right? Um, not so much. But said body parts are good if you want to put twisted and disturbed images of torture and chaos to canvas or collect other people's limbs…with your bare hands.
5. "Basket Case" - Sometimes two heads are better than one. Just ask the formerly conjoined Bradley twins who were separated by some meddling doctors. But, they'll seek their revenge and it will involve a big surprise. Just don't ask what's in the basket.
4. "Bad Biology"- Frank Henenlotter has his finger on the pulse of good parts gone bad. And in the case of "Bad Biology," it's a dismembered member with a seriously bad attitude making all sorts of trouble. Busting through walls and attacking unsuspecting victims when they are most vulnerable, Henenlotter brings King Missile's punk classic "Detachable Penis" to life. (If you were a teen in the ‘90s you should know what I am talking about.)
3. "Exte" (Hair Extensions) - Your worst bad hair day doesn't even compare to what happens to the lovely locks of women who have been possessed by the vengeful spirit of a young girl. Crazy hair growth results not only in serious tangles but suffocation, strangulation, or if the haunted young lovely lives long enough, complete insanity. Sometimes beauty really is a curse.
2. "Re-Animator" - Dr. Hill could do more with his amassed medical knowledge as a re-animated, decapitated head than he could ever do in life as a living and breathing brain surgeon. And the immense joy he shows while putting his evil plans into action almost makes us forgive his severed head for attempting to get it on with his former colleague's daughter.
1. "Evil Dead II" - The fight between Ash and Ash's diabolical digits is probably the ultimate man vs. killer hand moment in all of film history. The hand squeals with demonic delight as it breaks plates over Ash's head, knocks him out and goes for the meat cleaver. But with the help of his trusty chainsaw, Ash gets the last laugh.