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News Article

Five Ice Monsters That are Scarier Than Yellow Snow

With Christmas on the horizon, it's time to go outside and make snowmen (at least, that's what TV and movies have led me to believe - I live in Los Angeles; we don't have snow here). But snowmen aren't the FEARnet way. Snow monsters are the FEARnet way. We've got five movie snow monsters that are sure to give you the chills (though we can't promise they won't be chills of laughter).

The Conquest of the Pole (1912)

The Conquest of the Pole was one of the last films completed by science fiction pioneer director Georges Melies. Inspired by the world's new obsession with visiting the Poles, Conquest sends a group of scientists to the North Pole, where they meet a Ice Giant.

Creature Features: The Ice Giant looks kind of like a low-tech parade float. Humorous to modern audiences, but amazing when you consider it was created before they could even record sound. The Ice Giant enjoys snacking on human beings, but it is not clear if he does so because it is his main source of nutrition, or if it is because the explorers really pissed him off.

See the film in its entirety, in pristine quality with a much better score at EuropaFilmTreasures.eu

 

The Snow Creature (1954)

This shlocky B-movie was one of the first Yeti movies, but it had a very King Kong feel to it. A group of explorers discover a snow creature in the Himalayas and bring it back to Los Angeles (naturally). It escapes and runs amok in the sewers until it is shot to death. The entire 70 minute film can be viewed on YouTube

Creature Features: Not a whole lot. The blurry black-and-white film reveals little more than a humanoid figure in a body suit.

The Thing (1982)

Forget about that new Thing that came out a few months ago. You want frozen scares, go with John Carpenter's original (and yes, I consider it completely separate from the original original, The Thing From Another World). A group of scientists are working out of an Antarctic research station when a shapeshifting alien comes up from the ice, infiltrates their numbers, and causes paranoia amongst the researchers that is almost as dangerous as The Thing itself.

Creature Feature: It is a giant arachnid-like creature, but can imitate any host-human exactly. The only way to know for sure if you have a human or a Thing is with a blood test.

Ice Queen (2005)

I'll admit, I've never seen this flick, but after viewing the trailer, it may be the perfect film. It's got everything: a prehistoric woman! Plane hijacking! Avalanche! Alcoholism! Sex! Seriously, how is this not a Syfy monster movie? The murders even happen on - ready? - Killington Mountain. The Ice Queen was found in the Amazon rain forest, preserved in amber, and shipped out to be studied at a government facility. The plane crashes (hijacking) into a ski resort (avalanche) and the Ice Queen awakens and begins killing at random.

Creature Features: The Ice Queen only comes to life when her body temp is really, really cold. She is blue with long, claw-like yellow teeth and is done in by her own sexuality when one guy lures her into a hot tub with promises of sex - and she melts. Literally.

Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back (1980)

Yeah, we've got to mention the wampa of Hoth. The wampa held Luke captive, but luckily Luke used the force and freed himself with his lightsaber. He also freed the wampa from one of his arms. Based on the idea of the yeti, the enormous white furry wampa is usually covered in gore from his victims.

Creature Features: It is believed that the wampa scene was added after star Mark Hamill was involved in a major car accident that required reconstructive surgery to his face. Being attacked by a wampa was supposed to explain Hamill's scarred, slightly altered face.

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