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Make ‘Fried Eggs’ ala ‘Dexter’

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Egg CookiesMuch like Dexter, these fried eggs are a little sweet a little bloody. Created by Kimberly on the Instructables site, the eggs are actually sugar cookies leading a secret life in an egg-y disguise – a delicious treat for evildoers and their unsuspecting victims alike.

The recipe is a bit involved, requiring a steady hand and a Dexter-like eye for details, but worth the mess and clean up involved.

“Inspired by my malevolent and morbid sense of humor, infused with all the gore I could visually muster, "instruct-iblized" for die-hard Dexter fans world wide,” the cookie’s creator wrote. “If Miami Metro's blood spatter expert (with a penchant for administering uber justice to evil-doers) deserves a sweet treat, then so do you!.”

Get the full recipe below:

Step 1: Ingredients and tools

Cookie ToolsIngredients:
•    Your favorite sugar cookie recipe
•    Royal Icing
•    Gel food colorings-red, yellow, brown
•    Vodka

Tools:
•    Paint brush-small
•    Toothpick
•    Cookie cutters
•    Knife
•    Parchment paper
•    Cookie sheet
•    Spatula
•    Cooling rack
•    Measuring spoons
•    Frosting bag with tip or plastic baggie
•    Silicone pastry brush


Step 2: Prepare cookie dough, cut out shapes, bake

You can use your favorite sugar cookie dough recipe for this instructable or try Perfect Sugar Cookies. 

I have found the cookies spread less when baking if you use cold dough.
•    Roll out the cookie dough to approximately 1/4".
•    Use a knife to cut out the cookie "egg whites".  Optionally, you can use a 2 1/2" round cookie cutter and press in the sides to look kidney shaped. This will keep the cookies more uniform in size, if that matters to you.
•    Use a very small round cookie cutter about the size of an egg yolk (or in my case, I used the top of a shot glass) to cut out the cookie "egg yolks".
•    Place cut-outs on a parchment-lined cookie sheet and place in the fridge while preheating your oven.
•    Preheat oven and bake cookies according to the recipe specifications.
•    Once baked, remove cookies and place on cooling rack while you make the Royal Icing.
It is okay if your cookies are on the crisper side. They will soften a bit from the Royal Icing.

Dexter Egg YolkStep 3: Use Royal Icing to create the "yolk"

Make a batch of Royal Icing

Be sure to use just a bit of vanilla in your Royal Icing so the egg whites will look more realistic. 

Decorate the "YOLKS":
•    Take approximately one cup of Royal Icing and color it egg yolk yellow.
•    Wilton's gel coloring works great. Mix it thoroughly.
•    Take a spoonful of yellow icing and place it directly on top of the cookie. Work it around so the entire cookie is covered and the excess drips off the rack.
•    Let the "yolks" dry overnight.

Step 4: "Glue" yolks to plain cookies

Put about 1/2 teaspoon of the white Royal Icing on the backside of the "egg yolk" and place it "glue" side down on the plain cookie "egg white".  Most real fried eggs are not perfectly centered. Remember that when placing your "yolk".

YolkStep 5: Pipe around the "yolk" with white Royal Icing

Use a frosting bag with a larger sized tip and pipe around the "egg yolk" with the plain white Royal Icing.

This helps seal the yolk onto the cookie. It also looks more realistic than a yellow disk plopped onto a white cookie. 

Let it drip off the sides and be sure all the cookie is covered. It helps to let the cookies sit for a few minutes and then move them carefully so they don't "glue" themselves onto the cooling rack. 

Royal Icing can sometimes bubble a bit. This actually gives the "eggs" a  sizzling fried look!

Aren't these looking eggsactly like breakfast? :)

Be sure to let them dry completely before applying the blood spatter.

Step 6: Blood spatter 101

This is the one part of the instructable for which I'm not able to give exact amounts.

Take a small bowl, add red gel food coloring and mix it with a tiny bit of brown gel food coloring. I used Wilton's because that's what I had on hand.

Add a few teaspoons of vodka and mix like crazy. The vodka will help the viscosity and then dissipate, leaving the drippy, bloody look! 

You will need to play around with this until the "blood" is dark red, not bright red. Blood colored!

Splatter Dexter EggsStep 7: Spatter the eggs!

Unless you have a kill room, I highly recommend this step to be performed outside.  

Don a pair of surgical gloves and scrubs.... okay...or just a grubby tee shirt will do fine. 

Place the cookie tray on the ground. You will get a better angle for the spatter. Take the silicone pastry brush and dip it in the "blood" mixture. Stand away from the tray of "eggs" and flick the blood! It will dry pretty quickly.

Be mindful of the fact that the food coloring may stain anything else it touches. Wanna borrow my kill room now? :)

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