Well, people, this story poses quite the professional challenge, but I'll give it my best… you see, yesterday my fave German industrial-metal heroes Rammstein premiered the video for the first single off their new album. Fair enough. Now keep in mind the fact that this band won't hesitate for a second to horrify you with their lyrics and imagery, which is usually of a highly perverse nature. Then add the fact that I can't even print the title of their new single in the headline... starting to get the picture? No, I don't think you do yet. Hell, just hit the jump and I'll tell you.
So, what's your view on hardcore porn? I guess the answer to that question will tell you if you're going to be able to handle the video for Pussy... or even watch it legally, for that matter. I'm not even sure how long it's going to be posted, because this is going to drive some people completely apeshit. I'm also pretty sure this is going to be one of the most talked-about videos of the year, the band's most notorious work in an already controversial career, and a new definition of the term 'NSFW.'
The clip, directed by Jonas Åkerlund (whose credits include videos for Metallica, Madonna, U2 and Lady Gaga) plays out like a slickly-made skinflick, depicting the band members as various studly types (well, except for keyboardist Flake, who is... no, I can't even go there) with porn names describing a wide assortment of fetishes ('The Executive,' 'Mr. Pain,' 'The Cowboy,' etc.), which the men indulge in extremely graphic ways. And when I say this looks exactly like a porno, I'm totally not exaggerating... it shows everything, right down to the money shots. Seriously.
As for the song itself, it's totally goofy ('You've got a pussy/I have a dick/So what's the problem/Let's do it quick') but to be honest, I was too stunned to care. If you're old enough – and really mean it, you will have to pass the age gatekeeper for this one, as it's actually being hosted by an adult site – consider checking it out for yourself, at least to have a great story to tell your pals the next day. I can't actually link to the video itself, but go to the band's official blog and they'll guide you to it... for now, anyway.
Wow, I wrote this whole thing without making any sick puns about this being Rammstein's 'comeback'... oops.