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Television Tourniquet: We Rip Open 'Reaper' -- Episode 2.5

Reaper Episode 2.5
"I Want My Baby Back"
Written By: Thomas Schnauz
Directed By: John Fortenberry
Original Airdate: 31 March 2009

In This Episode…

The Devil shows up right away with Sam's mission o' the week: kill a chick who thought she was a vampire when she was alive -- in reality, she was just a murderer who drank her victims' blood.  Sam, Sock, and Ben take care of her speedily, but there is a hitch (there is always a hitch).  Miss Vampy had a baby.  Sam and Sock are mystified; Ben is freakishly excited.

The boys try to pawn off the baby on Gladys when they drop off the vessel.  She explains that the baby is IBOH – Intentional Birth Out of Hell.  Apparently even Los Angeles's school district is better than Hell's.  Tony, Sam's gay demon buddy, pops into town, sees the baby, and falls in love with her.  The boys are all too eager to hand the baby over.

The Devil tells Sam that the baby has to be vesseled, too.  She is destined to be pure evil.  So the guys head back to Tony's pad.  He catches them trying to stake the baby, goes demon on them, and rescues his kid.  He suggests baptizing the baby – it will wash away original sin and the baby will have a clean soul – at least for a while.

Tony can't set foot in a church because of the whole demon thing, so Sam and Andi stand in as the baby's parents.  Of course, the Devil won't have it.  He force-pulls the baby carriage out of the church, across traffic, and into an abandoned store, which conveniently has a fiery pit to Hell located in the back room.  Sam races after the baby and runs into the Devil.  He convinces Sir Satan that if the baby is destined to be pure evil, she could do more bad for him on Earth -- corrupting the innocent and sending hundreds of souls his way.  The Devil "gives in," and hands the baby back to Sam, but assures him that she will be pure evil – "just you wait.  Nature always wins out over nurture."

Elsewhere…

Morgan tries to seduce Andi.  She doesn't fall for it, but he accidentally-on-purpose spills the beans about Sam's real father.  Andi is understandably pissed off.  Ben convinces Sock that the only way to deal with his attraction towards his step-sister is to chemically castrate himself.  She catches him as he is about to pop the pill, and insists he not change.  So instead, the two take up racquetball.   Sam gives his zombie dad a place to live – an oversized freezer in the garage.

Dig It or Bury It?

Meh.  I don't really like babies, so I couldn't connect on that level.  If she is destined to be evil, kill her.  Though I suppose there is a good chance that the Devil is lying.  He is, after all, the Devil.  In any case, it made for a less-than-action-packed episode.  Plus, Ben seems to get girlier and girlier with each episode.  He squeals over the baby, talks about the special intimacy he and Nina share, blah blah blah.  It was funny; now it is just getting sad.

Vessel… To Hell!

Since the soul Sam is going after belongs to a woman who thinks she is a vampire, the vessel is, fittingly, a wooden stake.  "Lookin' sharp, Buffy," the Devil says to Sam when he takes it.  The stake is also to be used on the baby, but never is.

Funny Devil

When Tony "adopts" the baby, he decides to name her Stevie, after his dead partner Steven.  Sock tells him he can't – he already named her Magnum P.I.  Personally, I thought she looked more like a MacGyver. 

Prophecies

Next week the boys head to Dove Hollow, a backwards country town that reminds me of the one in H.G. Lewis's Two Thousand Maniacs!  This town, however, seems to be populated by a variety of beasties and creatures whose effects are about on par with the no-budget slasher.

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