Television Tourniquet: We Behold '13: Fear is Real' -- Episode 7


13: Fear is Real Episode 7
Original Airdate: 13 February 2009

In This Episode…

…the remaining five contestants – Erica, Melyssa, Nassir, Ted, and Adam – are going stir-crazy.  Which of course just means that the contestants are going to annoy us, the innocent television audience.  Erica is the killer, Ted knows, and he told Nassir.  Ted tells Erica he will support her and help her to kill Adam.  Erica plays it off like she isn't really the killer, which Ted doesn't buy for a second.  So he "tattles" to Adam, who confronts Erica: "I know something bad."  Okay, settle down children.  Erica, who apparently must kill one more, has decided that she may have to kill Melyssa because she is the only one who doesn't know who the killer is.

Luckily, Adam is an idiot.  The three boys go to shower together (yes, I know, I giggled too), but Adam forgot his boxers.  So he races back to the living quarters to get them, and gets "killed" by Erica.  The remaining contestants heard Adam scream Erica's name, and then it was announced that he was dead, but Erica still denied that she killed him.  The best part – Melyssa believed her, even though she was with the two other guys, meaning that Erica was the only person physically capable of killing Adam.

Remember how last week I was worried because it looked like they were going to let loose a snake?  Well by this point in the show – a half-hour in – I was so desperate for something to happen that I almost welcomed the snake.  He came in during the ritual.  The four of them are strapped into straightjackets, which are chained to the floor.  The room is dark except for a strobe light.  First two out are safe; other two go to the execution ceremony.  Oh yeah, and they let loose a big boa in the room (which obviously chose to curl up in the corner and let the camera man take b-roll of him later to intercut).  Erica makes it out first, followed by Nassir.  Melyssa and Ted go to execution.

Dig It Or Bury It?

My kingdom for a challenge that does not require the contestants to free themselves from something.  Anything.  Make them solve an algebraic equation; that's pretty scary.

Ted is at his douchiest in this episode, which makes it vaguely entertaining.  But only vaguely.  He just gets douchier by the second.  He is the kind of guy who probably gives himself pep talks in the mirror.  There are no mirrors in the slaughterhouse, so instead, while waiting for the execution ceremony, he paces around, talking to his pecs.  I shit you not.


Melyssa and Ted get on the bus and are taken out to an auto junkyard.  They are locked into car trunks with only a handful of basic tools and a small flashlight, and must get out of the car before it is crushed into a cube.  This one was surprisingly decent (compared to competitions of past weeks) cause big machines that go bang are cool.  I am choosing to overlook how obviously pieced together this segment is – Melyssa and Ted were most certainly not in the car trunks when the cars were being molested by the giant crusher machine.

Anyway, Ted makes it out and lives to see another episode.  Continuing in the douchebaggery fashion, he really hoots it up and runs around like an ape, showing off his studliness to Nassir.  It was pretty jaw-dropping.

Horrifying Cliché?

I don't know anymore.  Someone, please, just let this show be over with.


Hm, the producers must have heard my wish from that previous paragraph, because next week is the last episode!  Next week the three survivors return to the bayou, where two will "die."  It looks like the ghosts of the dead contestants will be back.

My pick for winner?  Erica.  She is strong and seems pretty level-headed.  Nassir is too nondescript.  Ted is too fucking cocky.  Yep, my money is on Erica.