Review

Review

Television Tourniquet -- We Bite into 'True Blood' Episode 11!

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True Blood 11
"To Love Is to Bury"
Written by Nancy Oliver, Alan Ball
Directed by Nancy Oliver
Original Airdate November 16, 2008

In This Episode… 

Bill faithfully fulfills his sentence handed down by the vampire tribunal, making  a new vampire from the innocent, redheaded abductee Jessica. Unfortunately for Bill, his newest companion not only wants to be a vampire, but she turns out be the worst kind of bratty teen. And like any such teenage girl, she wants to get far away from her father as fast as she can.

Unsure of what happened to Tara the night before, Sam and Sookie concentrate on unlocking the secret of the mystery killer. When Sookie remembers that his last victim was wearing a nametag from Big Patties Pie House, Jason and Sookie hop in the car and take a trip to the diner. Thanks to the help of pie guy Buster, they find out that the strangler’s victim Cindy had a brother who mysteriously left town after her death.  With some skillful manipulation on the part of Sookie, the sleuthing duo convinces the local vampire-hating police to fax a photo of the victim’s brother Drew Marshall to the Bon Temp’s police department.

 

Tara tries her hand at negotiating with the less than sympathetic local police, while her car sits in a ditch. Her failure to pass the sobriety test and her outlandish story of a woman with a “crazy-ass motherfuckin’ Paul Bunyon pig” lands her dirty drunk ass in the slammer for the night. She awakes to find the glow of the crawfish celebration has faded, when her mom shows up and refuses to post bail.  But, Tara’s savior finally does arrive in the guise of a tall, dark and lovely social worker named Mary Anne Forest, who takes Tara to her home to clean up and get herself together. It’s too bad Tara was too drunk to remember that this stranger is also the naked pig farmer from the night before.

 

Jason and Amy have some of their own cleaning up to do after Amy’s vampire-staking hissy fit. The bloodied, inconsolable Jason confides in Renee and Hoyt about his love problems with the V-addled Amy. But, when he gets back home all is easily forgiven after a candlelight dinner, complete with a V shot for dessert and Amy eating crow. The two lovers enjoy their last fix and slip deep into a mutual hippy dream of running in their underwear through a field. Unfortunately, the sleep is a little too deep, and Jason fails to wake up as his girlfriend is being strangled by the Timberland boot-wearing mystery killer.

 

Bill finally shakes his teen charge and returns to Sookie’s, just in time to find Sam watching over her a little too well. Catching the couple mid liplock, Bill flies into a fit of rage, teeth a’glinting. An angry Sookie kicks Bill out, rescinding the invitation to enter her house and slams the door in his face despite Bill’s pleas to reconsider.

 

Jason hits rock bottom when he wakes to find the dead Amy lying next to him, and immediately turns himself in, just missing the fax that has finally made it through to the Bon Temps police station, of a Mr. Drew Marshall who looks suspiciously like a younger Renee.

Dig It or Bury It?

 

Wow, who knew vampires were so sticky and stringy to clean up? I sure hope Jason and Amy have an industrial-strength garbage disposal.

 

There’s no better birth control for a vampire than to stick him with the most annoying teenage bloodsucker ever.

 

When Jessica rose from the earth she was totally channeling a prom-night Sissy Spacek. It was terrifying, and even Bill looked slightly repulsed.

 

I thought we were done with the moon-eyed Sookie look, but it’s back and this time she’s pointing her high beams straight at Sam. Someone needs to send Anna Paquin to acting school.

 

Sookie is awful quick to turn her back on Bill. She forgets that he risked his undead ass for her. Is it possible that she prefers puppy love after all?

 

And is anyone else sick of Sam’s good guy routine? Also, I don’t think he could have picked a lamer dog to shapeshift into. Lassie? Really? If you had a choice, wouldn’t you pick something evil like Cujo or a Hound of the Baskervilles?

 

I was feeling bad for Tara and all her bad luck – her mother’s crazy, the only man in her life is in love with her best friend and she just totaled her car – but now I’m just thinking that she’s dumb. All it takes is one look at Mary Ann Forester’s put-together outfit and severe haircut to know that she’s evil. It couldn’t have been more obvious if the song “Witchy Woman” had been playing when she walked into the scene.

 

Can someone out there take Eric shopping for a new muscle shirt?

Blood Count

 

They sure do love a good puke shot on True Blood, almost as much as they love a slimy puddle of vampire innards. In this episode they were combined. Thanks guys.

RIP Ivy League-educated Amy. Your ways may have been annoying, but you most certainly brought new life to Jason's character.

Ass Factor

 

OMG! There was almost no nudity this week! What gives? Can we count Jason running through a field in only his man-ties?

 

Myths Revamped

 

For all of you out there thinking about making a vampire girlfriend, she can’t fully form until she goes to ground. This means that you need to be buried with her so that she has something to feed on during her transformation. So put a few days aside – maybe make a vampire weekend of it?

Hick of the Week

 

I’m going to have to say the newest addition to Bill’s vampire family. The home-schooled Jessica can’t get enough of using swear words, and I’m eager to see what happens when she’s alone with a boy. Do you think she’ll go “all the way”?

 

The brain-dead pie shop girl Harley gets second runner up.

 

Prophecies

 

The mysterious pig lady will show her true colors, and I have a feeling that her interest in Bon Temps has something to do with Bill. Hopefully, he’ll be able to talk her out of doing something truly evil to down-on-her-luck Tara.

 

Lafayette is sick of being lied too, and he definitely isn’t done setting his Senator friend, Mr. Finch, straight (ahem). He may be forced to get his friendly vampires in on the action.

 

We now think that Renee is the killer, but is he working alone? I think that apron-string tied Hoyt is just far too sweet to be entirely normal.

 

Eric’s not going to let Bill slack off for much longer and he’s not going to be Jessica’s permanent nurse maid. Bill owes him a lot and I’m going to make a wager that repaying the debt will include Bill’s beloved blond.

 

Andy Bellefleur may be quick to believe that Jason’s the killer, but Bud Dearborne is definitely not convinced. He’ll make sure that Jason doesn’t stay in jail for too long.

 

Who’s it going to be for Sookie: dark and brooding or playful and doting?

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