Review

Review

Television Tourniquet: We Bite into 'True Blood' Episode 8!

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Is Bill really dead? Does Sookie seek vengeance? And just how many naked vampire backsides will finally be revealed? Read on, my fang-banging friend...

True Blood Episode 8
"The Fourth Man in the Fire"
Written By Alexander Woo
Directed by Michael Lehmann
Original Airdate: October 25, 2008

In This Episode…

An inconsolable Sookie returns home after seeing the liquefied remains of what appear to be four vampires and assumes that her beloved Bill was lost in the blaze. Filled with anguish over the loss of yet another loved one, she turns her anger first on her dirty kitchen, then on her best friend Tara.

With nothing left but to mourn Bill’s death, Sookie heads to the graveyard after dark and…well, what do you know!  She just happens upon Bill “laying low” in the most literal sense, six feet underground.  Their reunion is very, very dirty. 

And that's not the only love going around. Merlotte's own redheaded divorcee Arlene is hoping that the fourth time will be a charm with her Cajun Casanova, Rene. In exchange for vampire blood, Lafayette has been doing a little business on the side with a lonely, Tiffany-listening vampire who gives "Queen of the Damned" new meaning.

 

Meanwhile Jason and his Gaia-worshipping girlfriend Amy have gotten as close as two people on V can get in just a few hours (without actually removing undies). Settling right in as "the new Pam," Amy takes a job at Merlottes, but the reality of waiting tables at a hick tavern begins to weigh on her, and her V need reaches a fever pitch. Unfortunately for Lafayette's vampire sugar–daddy it seems that Amy has talents other than taking orders, like stalking and torturing vampires.

Sam's naked romp remains a mystery after his claim of being a nudist doesn't check out. Tara's mounting confusion over their relationship sends her back to the voodoo bus for more juju.

Head vampire Eric orders Bill and Sookie to Fangtasia in order to use Sookie's unique talent to help solve the mystery of his missing $60,000. When Sookie reads the mind of Fangtasia's tube-topped waitress she begins to unlock the mystery behind who stole the money. But the culprit suddenly comes flying from behind the bar, fangs first, heading directly for Sookie.

 

Dig It or Bury It?

Thank you Alan Ball for bringing my favorite Fishbone tune, "Bonin' in the Boneyard", to life.

Was it a happy coincidence that Bill just happened to be completely naked when he grabbed Sookie and crawled out of the dirt, or do vampires not wear clothes underground?

OMG! OMG! OMG! Not only is News Radio's Jimmy James in this episode, but he has fangs and is gay! I don't even care that his kiss with Lafayette was the least sexual thing I've ever seen in my life.

I'm glad to see that although the demon is out of Tara's mom, it left its large flowered hat behind.

Boobs aside, Amy has got to be one of the most annoying characters on the show. The only good thing about her is that she doesn't have that bad southern accent.

I am beginning to think that there's some vampire mythology I've missed regarding bloodsuckers and their love for bathtubs. Why on earth was Eric taking a bath in Bill's house? Also, I'm not sure which fits Eric worse: the official vampire title of "Sheriff of Area 5" or that black tank top he is wearing in the final scene.

The bad vampire bartender would have been ten times cooler if he didn't look so much like an extra left over from a Robert Rodiquez film.

Blood Count

RIP beloved teen Goth who worked at the funeral home. It was only a matter of time until your fang-banging ways got you into trouble. But your goo-filled remains were pretty cool.

Cringeworthy Quote

Please, I'm begging you, no more Sookie and Bill love scenes. You can even put them back in the bathtub, just as long as I never have to hear the words "There's nothing more natural than the act of making love. Who am I to try to change what comes natural to you" come out of Bill's mouth again. I much prefer Jason's brand of pillow talk - "I want to lick your mind" - anyway.

Ass Factor

If we're talking numbers alone, asses won out this week thanks to the scene at the nudist colony. If we're looking at quality over quantity, a nod must be given to the topless scenes. In fact, I'm fairly certain that ninety percent of Amy's on-screen time has been spent without a shirt.

Myths Revamped

So much for spontaneous combustion! Sadly, most of the vampire truths we've grown up with are turning out to be lies. Forget using the sun to get rid of the undead, it will only weaken them.

Hick of the Week

I’m going to go with Andy’s shell-shocked cousin Terry for passing on the fact that not only is a possum’s penis two-pronged, but it brings good luck.

Prophecies

Bill won’t let some crusty Hessian vampire bite Sookie so no worries about her making it out of Fangtasia alive, but we should be a little concerned about her growing relationship with Eric.

There’s no doubt we’ll be seeing a showdown between Lafayette and Jason after his abduction of Lafayette’s sweet and tender sugar-daddy.  But, will Jason’s hippy girlfriend come to his rescue or hit the road?

The writers are really milking the Tara exorcism plot.  Now that she’s finally made it to the bus, I think we’re going to be back with the crone stone.  Ditto for the plot-milking with Sam.  Next week he’s going to have to answer for lying to the law.

Does anyone else think that Rene’s friend Hoyt is just a little too nice?

Judging by the biblical reference in the title of this episode and the use of “The Fourth Man in the Fire” as background music for the vampire abduction scene, I think we’re going to see some of our vampy friends come back from the dead.  Or maybe I’m reading too much into it and the writers are just Johnny Cash fans?

 

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