TV Recap: 'Being Human' Episode 312 - 'Always a Bridesmaid, Never Alive'



being humanBeing Human Episode 312
“Always a Bridesmaid, Never Alive”
Written By: Lisa Randolph
Directed By: Stefan Pleszczynski
Original Airdate: 1 April 2013

In This Episode...

It is Josh and Nora’s wedding day. Aidan has decorated the house for a wedding and is making breakfast. Nora goes up to check on Sally and finds she is in terrible shape: her body is covered with rot, and she is so weak she can barely stand and certainly cannot eat. The end is nigh. Aidan is determined to go with Sally through her door. Their only chance of beating Donna is by taking her out in whatever realm they end up in. Nora insists that Josh goes, too. Before Sally dies for good, the girls play dress-up and find Sally the perfect “forever” dress. So Sally dies - again - and her ghost returns - again. Josh cannot see her. Aidan arms himself with Sally’s heart (he pummels the chest of her corpse and rips it out violently, which horrifies everyone else) and a lighter. The only way to stop Donna is essentially to reverse the spell.

The door arrives and the three of them enter together. Josh ends up in his happy meditative place with a wolf staring at him. Aidan ends up in his human life, playing with his son Isaac. But Josh’s wolf attacks him; Isaac turns out to be a soulless ginger vampire who attacks Aidan, and both of them get “knocked out” into the soup kitchen, which is now decrepit. Sally is there. So is Ray, the werewolf Josh killed. Josh feels it is his karmic duty to handle Ray so he sends Sally and Aidan ahead. Josh and Ray fight tremendously, and Josh seems to get the upper hand. He beats Ray with a rock like he did for realsies, but then Ray takes on wolf form. Strangely, when the wolf attacks, Josh beheads him easily.

Meanwhile, Sally and Aidan face off against Donna, who is not surprised to see Sally - or her entourage. Sally starts to recite the Latin verse Alana gave her. Donna laughs, but eventually it works - kind of. Donna is weakened, and her “true” face is revealed: it is old and scraggly and exactly what you expect of a witch - all she is missing is the wart on her nose. She force-throws Aidan out of the way, and Sally tries to point out that Donna’s contracts and dealings are unfair. (First off, what the hell does a witch dabbling in black magic care about “fair?” And second, Sally was the one who changed the parameters of their deal.) In any case, Aidan crawls back into the picture and tosses Sally’s heart into the fire pit. The flames spike and engulf Donna. But then Donna gathers the flames into a neat little fireball and sets Sally alight. She says her goodbyes to Aidan and Josh (who has since rejoined the group) before fading into a cloud of black ash - which Donna eagerly eats up. Josh and Aidan don’t have time to be sad, for halfway through Donna’s gloating, she is torn apart by white light. Aidan, Josh, and even Sally (as a ghost) are returned to Sally’s room. Everyone is pretty damned happy.

So we are back to status quo - but happier. Josh and Nora have decided the day got away from them and they will have their wedding another time, perhaps after the full moon so Josh can see Sally. But then Emily shows up. She has decided to give this whole “my brother and his friends are all literal monsters” thing a chance. She likes them more than any of her human friends. She also put on a dress, so as far as she is concerned, this wedding is happening. Kat returns (Nora sent her away when Aidan realized he was going to have to do some decidedly not-human things that he didn’t feel ready to share with his very human new girlfriend), the bride wears white, it is simple and informal and joyous. Afterwards, Emily is cleaning up and blows out the candles. (Monsters, apparently, are not very concerned with fire safety.) The flames flicker back on and grow huge, but it is unclear if Sally is just messing around or if Donna is fucking with them.

Nora and Josh head to a quaint country cabin for their honeymoon. Nora ducks out for a few minutes to get some more logs for the fireplace - and she finds Liam waiting for her.

And finally, Kenny is where he has been for the whole episode: passed out in Aidan’s bed. But he has become a vampire abomination.

Dig It or Bury It?

This was a sweet, emotional episode that I - shockingly - did not have a problem with. It was nice to see Aidan, Sally, and Josh all interacting together. This felt like a season finale - but is not, which is a little awkward to me. Similarly awkward was the oddly uneventful demise of Donna. Clearly this is not her real demise, but Donna consumed Sally, was victorious, then suddenly explodes in light and sends everyone back to our realm. That’s it. I know there is more coming, but it was just kind of anti-climactic.


Season finale time. Sally faces Donna again; Josh and Nora face Liam again; and Aidan must face the fact that he has created a vampire abomination again. Oooh, are we going to get hybrids?