TV Recap: 'Supernatural' Episode 709 - 'How To Win Friends and Influence Monsters'


Supernatural Episode 709

"How to Win Friends and Influence Monsters"

Written By: Ben Edlund

Directed By: Guy Bee

Original Airdate: 18 November 2011

In This Episode...

Sam, Dean and Bobby have taken up residence in a crumbling, abandoned house in Jersey in an effort to stay off the grid. While there, they are investigating the murders of a couple of "glampers" (rich people who camp with electricity, TV, wifi, full beds - basically all the comforts of home with flimsy nylon walls). The victims have been found hung from trees, torn to shreds, and the newspapers think the Jersey Devil is to blame. The boys just assume the papers are right, so they don't notice tell-tale signs of weirdness amongst the town folks: stoned Ranger Rick who isn't troubled by his missing assistant ranger; Brandon, the waiter with a tremendous anger issue; Dean's insatiable hunger. Okay, maybe that one isn't so odd.

So a-hunting they go in the forest. They find the missing ranger, now dead and eaten by a zombie-like guy. They shoot him and take him back to the house for autopsy. The guy is emaciated, but ID shows he used to weigh 250 pounds. He oozes a milky goo and in his stomach, Sam and Bobby find human flesh, a pinecone, a pack of gum, and a cat's skull. They also find a grotesquely enlarged, blackened adrenal gland. Dean is antsy and wants dinner, so they head back to the restaurant where Dean orders another TDK Slammer - a pepperjack turducken sandwich that he eats like he is making love to it. Sam notices that every other patron in the restaurant is shoving turducken in their mouths as well. Sam takes it away and brings it back to the house for study. Once there, he and Bobby poke at it - it starts seeping milky goo. That sobers Dean up pretty quick.

Surveillance time. The boys pile into a van and follow the meat delivery truck back to the source. Edgar, the leviathan that was supposed to have been crushed under a car meets the driver. They have Brandon - now a slavering rage zombie - and are soon met by the leviathan doc. The dastardly plot has the doc working on some kind of chemical that can be put into food that causes extreme sleepiness, addiction, obesity, and sluggishness (in other words, McDonald's), turning the human masses into easy food targets. Unfortunately, there have been some side effects: extreme rage that leads to cannibalism. All of this is being headed up by Dick Roman, a corporate bigwig, motivational speaker, and one of the 35 most influential men in America. Dick now happens to be a leviathan. And when his goons catch Bobby spying on them, they snatch him up, forcing Sam and Dean to run in, guns blazing (metaphorically) to save him. Dick's own ego means he doesn't tie Bobby up, and doesn't leave him guarded when he goes to check on the commotion downstairs. Bobby grabs a pistol and some paperwork and heads downstairs to find the boys spraying down the leviathans with industrial-strength cleanser. It doesn't quite kill them, but it slows them down enough for the boys to get away. Bobby is straggling behind, but he finally makes it into the van and the boys peel off, Dick shooting at them as they speed away.

Bobby is unusually quiet. Sam passes him back his hat, which fell off as he dove into the car - and notices there is a bullet hole in it.

Dig It or Bury It?

Guess what I'm going to say? Another great episode! It felt a little lost at parts, trying to go down too many plot avenues to get where it was going. Also, the leviathans' plans seemed unnecessarily complicated. Although this episode reinforces a view that I have long espoused: no good can come from turducken.

What a cliffhanger. I know, life and death are fluid in Supernatural. Everyone has died at least once. But this is different. This isn't due to ghosts or demons or magic. This is an ordinary human bullet, injuring Bobby in a very human way.

Blood Brothers

This episode had very little blood - a dismembered arm here or there, but nothing like what I have come to expect from Supernatural. One exception is what is apparently the leviathans' version of seppuku - but they call it bibbing. Basically, the leviathan is forced to eat himself. Every last bit of himself. It is called bibbing because the leviathan is expected to wear a lobster bib before he begins - which to me is just insult on top of injury. Sadly, we don't get to see any of this - just the leviathan hinging his jaw back as he contemplates his own hand, then we cut away. I am still trying to work out the mechanics of how one goes about eating his own head, and where all the bits of him went. When Dick's assistant cleans up, all that is left is a gooey lobster bib.

Spooky Humor

When the "glamper" (that in itself a pretty hilarious term) is found in the tree, the local newspaper headline reads: "Camping High Harshed by Human Burrito."

Brandon, the pissy waiter, gives nicknames to the boys: Big Bird, Ken Doll, and Creepy Uncle. I'll let you figure out which is which.

Dean on the sammich: after his first bite, he calls it the "perfect storm of the top three edible birds." But when he sees the sandwich ooze later on, he changes his tune: "If I weren't so chilled out right now, I'd puke."


Bobby is alive - but barely. The doctors don't have a hopeful outlook for him. Next week seems to be a very un-supernatural Supernatural.