TV Recap: 'True Blood' Episode 503 - 'Whatever I Am, You Made Me'



True Blood Episode 503
"Whatever I Am, You Made Me"
Written By: Raelle Tucker
Directed By: David Petrarca
Original Airdate: 24 June 2012

In This Episode...

Tara is not enjoying being a vampire. She tries to eat a young girl with a flat tire, but catches sight of her reflection and, horrified, flees. Sam stumbles upon her while taking the trash out at the bar. Tara is crying and begs him to help her out. Taking her into the bar, Tara cleans him out of True Blood and passes out. With dawn approaching, Sam locks her in the walk-in freezer. Don't worry: he warns off staff with a strongly-worded sign. At dusk, Lafayette tries to offer her some True Blood. Instead, she breaks free of the freezer in full view of Arlene, Alcide, Sookie, and Sam. Sookie tries to play dumb; Tara puts an end to that with veiled threats about revealing her secret to Alcide. Once again roaming the streets, Tara ends up breaking into a tanning salon and frying herself in one of the beds.

Still at the Authority, Bill and Eric are permitted to live, so long as they bring Russell Edgington in. To make sure the boys stay on the straight and narrow, they are strapped into harnesses that, at the press of a button, will send a stake through their hearts. Salome makes one last attempt at seducing the truth out of Bill and Eric. She sleeps with both of them, and seems satisfied that neither of them are Sanguinistas.

Jason runs into an old high school teacher at the grocery store. Ms. Steeler and Jason had an affair when he was only 15, and it seems she was his first. Jason goes home with her and they sleep together - against her better judgement. But when the are done, it is Jason who is filled with regret. He realizes that their relationship was wrong from the start and she taught him to fill up the emptiness in his heart with sex. It is the deepest moment Jason has ever had. Jessica, while out shopping, "smells" a guy that smells like "cotton candy, fresh baked bread, and sex." She goes nuts and chases him across town, but can't find him (obviously, he is a faerie). She instead goes to Jason for sex. Having already had his revelation, he rejects her. Rather than taking offense, Jessica realizes something is wrong with him, and offers to put on some sweats and just talk. 

Pam's flashbacks conclude with Eric visiting her whorehouse, and requesting an audience with her as opposed to one of her girls. They go upstairs and discover a room in use by Lorena and her new progeny, Bill. They are feasting on a prostitute, and Eric warns them away. Bill tries to defend his lady, but Lorena knows her place and they scurry away. Pam and Eric go to bed together (in a clean room). After, she begs him to make her a vampire in order to avoid the lonely, disease-ridden future that lays ahead for her. He refuses, saying the responsibility is too great. Pam slits her wrists straight up to her elbows, and leaves him little choice but to turn her.

Other bits n' pieces around Bon Temps: one of Holly's kids snapped a photo of a bare-assed Andy and posted it on Facebook. The embarrassment is not bad enough to prevent him from asking Holly to "go steady." Terry tells Arlene he is going away with Patrick but can't tell her where or for how long. Arlene does not take it well. Sookie tells Alcide that she killed Debbie. Alcide does not take this well. Lafayette has a brujo-attack, during which he pours a bucket of bleach in the gumbo he is cooking (he throws away the gumbo before feeding it to anyone). Steve Newlin is "the new Nan." Nora claims to be a Sanguinista in order to spare Eric and Bill's lives.

Dig It or Bury It?

This felt like such a "grown-up" episode. Jason finally had a revelation. Jessica could have been a whiny, vindictive teenager when Jason rejected her - but she didn't. Other than that, there really wasn't anything particularly special about this episode, one way or the other. I am glad that Sookie finally admitted to Alcide that she killed Debbie. That was becoming dragged out.

Ass Factor

Getting back to the weird, twisted sex - at the hands of Bill and Lorena again - was the scene with the two of them, half-dressed, sucking and fucking their whore. On the other end of the spectrum... well, there was Andy's ass.

Biting Humor

Sookie goes to Sam to ask if he has seen Tara. He claims he hasn't, but she reads his thoughts: "Think about her boobs. Think about anything but the walk-in." Sookie calls him on it (the walk-in; not the boobs) and he admits he is helping Tara, but gently warns Sookie that it is "Tara's choice what she does with it." She thanks him for keeping Tara safe and asks, "Can I give you a hug without you thinking about my boobs?" "Probably not," Sam answers. Sookie decides to risk it.

Also amusing: the tanning salon Tara goes into to commit suicide is called Curl Up and Fry. Funny and fitting.


We find out more about Jessica's new faerie friend; Sookie faces the repercussions of killing Debbie; and Bill and Eric return to Bon Temps.