TV Recap: 'The Vampire Diaries' Episode 514 - 'No Exit'


The Vampire Diaries Episode 514
“No Exit”
Written By: Brian Young
Directed By: Michael Allowitz
Original Airdate: 27 February 2014

In This Episode…

Caroline brings Stefan police records from her mom. Looks like Damon has been slashing a Ripper path across the state. Stefan is determined to track his brother down, and “Elena” is determined to go with. You know, to “help.” Naturally, Katherine just wants to seduce Stefan.

Damon and Enzo have been hitting up farmhouses, turning the residents into vampires, then letting Damon feed. They figure that Damon can go about eight hours before he needs to feed again. When he is done with this particular feed, the boys try to head out, only to discover a mess of travelers, led by Wes, chanting to seal the vamps inside the house. This is another one of Wes’ sadistic tests: how long can Damon go before he has to feed on his one food source, his only friend? We know he can go at least eight hours, but my question is: do the travelers have to chant that entire time to keep the place sealed up? Night comes, and Enzo wraps Damon in thick chains to try to stave off the inevitable. This pleases Wes, for now he can test Damon’s Hulk strength. He shoots Enzo in the shoulder, and the bloodlust kicks in. Damon wastes no time breaking free from his chains and tearing in to Enzo’s neck. This only last a minute - Damon begins choking on the blood. The travelers had upped the acidity in Enzo’s blood, so it burned like acid when Damon drank. Wes lowers the veil long enough to let Enzo out. Damon insists he not call Stefan for help. Part of that is pride, and part of that is to protect his brother.

The two doppelgängers head out on their road trip. When they stop for gas, Stefan goes inside to get “Elena” some snacks, and Katherine rips out a random hose from the engine. The car won’t start, and Stefan has no clue how this hose could have been ripped out. (Dumbass.) While he is checking the engine, he hands “Elena” the hose, and she promptly rubs the greasy part on her shirt, then makes sure to smudge her cheeks. She plays dumb when Stefan catches sight of her adorably-messy visage, and she suggests they check into the hotel down the road so they can both clean up. Stefan wants to wait for the car, but “Elena” convinces him to follow her.

While Stefan showers, Enzo calls on Damon’s phone. Katherine answers and puts on her mock-concerned voice. She has him text the address to her phone. She doesn’t tell Stefan; instead it is her turn to shower. When she is done, she peeks out of the bathroom in just a towel so Stefan can hand her a shirt… then she conveniently doesn’t close the door all the way. When she comes out of the bathroom, Stefan already has a semi, so when “Elena” leans in and kisses him tenderly during a “moment,” he returns with more voracious kisses. But he stops himself. “This is wrong, you and Damon just broke up,” yadda yadda yadda. “Elena” apologizes, she got caught up in the moment, and suggests he go settle the bill while she finishes packing. She uses this time to call Nadia and reveal the next part of her plan. Who does Stefan love more: Damon or Elena?

They head to the farmhouse. Damon begs them not to come inside, but Stefan insists he is not afraid of him - even after Damon reveals his super-hardcore vampy face. Katherine seems a bit surprised by this, but sucks it up - and steps inside. Damon is furious but “Elena” insists she did it to prove he is not a lost cause. Stefan enters, too. “Elena” takes a piece of glass and cuts her hand to incite Damon’s hunger, then tells him he can fight this, that his love for her is stronger than his bloodlust. He tries to resist, but can’t, and starts to devour “Elena.” She calls to Stefan for help, fearing that he will kill her - and nudges a pointy chunk of broken wood in his direction with her foot. Stefan opts for glass and cuts his wrist open to lure Damon away. It works, and Stefan snaps his neck.

I have no idea how they made it out of the magically-sealed house, but they do, and Damon wakes in the basement cell in the Salvatore home. Stefan tells him that the burning hunger he feels is not unique - he feels it all the time. He learned to control it; Damon will, too. For now though, he is going to go enjoy a glass of scotch while Damon “thinks about what he did.”

Meanwhile, Tyler calls Caroline for her help in figuring out what is going on with Matt. Nadia took Matt out of town for a few days so the vervain can leave his system and he can be compellable again. Matt doesn’t fight any of this; in fact, the two seem to have a lovely breakfast together. Katherine calls to check in, and insists that Nadia kill him. She doesn’t want to risk any loose ends. Nadia has a soft spot for Matt, and simply promises that she will “take care of it.” Instead, with promises from Matt that he won’t try anything, they go back to the Lockwood mansion and assure Caroline and Tyler that he is fine. He found Nadia, mourning the loss of her mother, the two got to talking and drinking, and they ended up in Atlantic City where they drank and had sex.

Nadia and Matt head to a private room, where they commiserate over neglectful mothers - and how they always go crawling back.  Things get a little “real” for Nadia, and she nips his wrist. The vervain is gone; fun time is over. Since Matt is going to forget anyway, he grabs Nadia and kisses her deeply, a thank you for not being a horrible kidnapper. She kisses him back and they start going at it. Matt grabs his phone and tries to text Caroline. He only manages “Help. K” before Nadia catches him. Rather than killing him, she just seems disappointed in him. “What did you expect?” he asks. Apparently more, from “the only decent person in this town.” She compels him to forget and leaves, but in the hallway is attacked by Caroline. They fight, then Tyler jumps into the fray. Nadia is scared away.

Later that night, Nadia meets Katherine at a diner. Katherine is so amped up on her near-seduction of Stefan that she “doesn’t want to be brought down by listening to whatever has Nadia so mopey.” Nadia assures her she won’t have to worry about her much longer, and produces her arm: Tyler bit her. (So there is the answer to that: Nadia isn’t just a traveler, but a vampire as well.)

Stefan finds Caroline in his home, drinking his booze. They discuss their individual woes, and the pieces finally come together for Stefan as he recounts the events of the evening and Elena’s strange behavior to Caroline. She shows him the text that reads “Help. K” and decide that the K must be for Katherine. So finally, Mr. Dim-Bulb realizes that this is not Elena. Took him long enough.

Dig It or Bury It?

I miss the bad-assery this show used to have. Julie Plec took it all with her and stuffed it into The Originals. Never before has Stefan been so stupid. Before this season, he would have known something was off with Elena immediately. And Katherine, even when pretending to be Elena, would have never been this bubbly and stupid. All of the awesome, violent, supernatural drama has been replaced with standard who’s-sleeping-with-who nonsense. Ever since the original vampires got their own show. I guess Klaus really took the bad-assery with him.


Well, now everyone knows that “Elena” is really Katherine, so hopefully the crazy shit will kick in.