Year of Release - 2003
Rating - R
Director - Lucky McKee
Running Time - 91 minutes
Distributor - Sony Pictures

Reviewed by Gregory S. Burkart

After being trapped in distribution hell for nearly two years due to the purchase of parent studio MGM - and consequently missing out on any kind of theatrical release - emerging horror auteur Lucky McKee?s follow-up to his critically lauded May has finally arrived on DVD via Sony Pictures. After being escalated to near-legendary proportions by fans who really need to get out more, The Woods couldn't possibly live up to its hype, but is nevertheless a sweet Halloween treat for fans of subtle supernatural scares.

A moody Gothic fairytale set in a remote girls' boarding school circa 1965, McKee?s first big-studio feature could be seen as a loving nod to Dario Argento?s classic Suspiria, but the two films bear only a superficial resemblance. Where Argento?s epic eschewed linear storytelling for the logic of nightmares, The Woods remains fairly well-grounded in old-school horror traditions... and barring the occasional burst of show-offy CGI, it recalls many of the classic haunted-house yarns of the ?60s and ?70s, with a few Asian horror conventions (particularly the whole ?schoolgirls in peril? thing) thrown in for spice.

Agnes Bruckner stars as Heather, a smart but bitter teen whose acts of petty arson drive her vain, social-climbing mother (Emma Campbell) to drastic measures. With the grumbling acquiescence of her surly dad (Bruce Campbell), she is dropped at the doorstep of the prestigious Falburn Academy ? a kind of prep school for privileged girls, lorded over by mega-creepy teachers and politely sinister headmistress Ms. Traverse (Patricia Clarkson).

No sooner has Heather entered Falburn?s dank, crumbling corridors before the usual ?New Kid? clichés begin to pile up: the cafeteria goes quiet when Heather enters; she unwittingly breaks several unwritten school rules, befriends a meek, bookish outcast, is singled out for torment by Queen Bitch and her snobby clique, branded with an ostensibly offensive nickname, i.e. ?Fire-crotch?. Because, you know, she has red hair. Isn't that clever? I didn't think so either, but our director evidently did.

It?s in the following scenes that McKee tries gamely to upend many of the expected Carrie tropes ? and mostly succeeds. We know soon enough that something creepy is amiss: legends abound of a trio of witches with magical ties to the surrounding woods, and girls have been disappearing during the night without a trace. Even stranger is the way Ms. Traverse singles out Heather for scrutiny after we learn of the girl?s odd ability to levitate rocks, pencils and transistor radios.

As the paranoia thickens, not only is Heather betrayed by those she once trusted but, in the story?s most intriguing twist (and the only one I didn?t see coming a mile off), she gains a very unlikely ally. But even that aid is short-lived, and Heather must rely on her powers to save herself and her schoolmates.

Despite a predictable plot and a rushed, confusing ending that ladles on tons of ooga-booga stuff but leaves a certain ?So what?? aftertaste (I could be wrong, but I detected a distinct whiff of studio tampering), there?s still plenty of spooky fun to be had. Clarkson and her staff of nutty spinsters really let rip with the classic devil-in-a-hairbun archetype; Bruckner takes a hard left from the expected genre clichés and emerges as a strong-willed but less than pure-hearted heroine. Campbell is also memorable in a small but pivotal role; his subdued performance is a refreshing break from the usual camp - although he does manage to summon Ol? Earl for a nasty vomit scene, and gets to fight the forces of darkness with a bloody axe... okay, so maybe this isn?t such a change of pace for Bruce after all.

Although Sony deserves praise for rescuing The Woods from the cinematic orphanage, their DVD presentation is criminally lacking, given the degree of fevered anticipation for this release. If you're one of the many fans set to salivating after rumors of a McKee commentary track and some behind-the-scenes goodies, prepare to feel royally rooked. What we do get, at least, is a reasonably good widescreen image (framed at 2.35:1 and 16x9 compatible) with no noticeable defects... although I spotted a few blotchy artifacts in some of the darker scenes. (For those with no sense of decency, a fullscreen option is also available.) On the high end, bear witness to a masterful use of the 5.1 audio environment: haunted whispers and eerie wisps of wind advance from all sides, and the teachers? every footstep echoes ominously down groaning corridors... this mix should be the gold standard for horror sound design.

With top talent like McKee at the helm, The Woods is a cut above the usual remake-happy studio horror fare. Nevertheless, it?s a bit underwhelming in light of the director's smaller, more personal projects. Although his creative strengths (strong characters, meaningful dialogue, poetic visuals) are served reasonably well by a larger budget, they left less of an impression than I expected. You too may find yourself emerging from The Woods with only a fleeting memory of the experience... but it?s still an enjoyable trip.