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Oh…Hi…Oh…

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By this time in the tour, I was starting to get the “where am I” syndrome. What happens in that syndrome, to me at least, is after days of traveling, being in different cities daily, I wake up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, having no clue where I am. Through my sleepy haze, I get up and start to walk to the bathroom, only to realize I have no clue where it is as this is the third hotel room in three days.

Regardless of my location disorientation, things were going well. Having just left Texas, I realized we were now in Ohio to do several appearances. We were set to do another haunted house first. After visiting some of the best in the country, I was getting used to the scares and starting to enjoy the experience of getting to see the variety of houses that were out there. Since the appearance was at seven that night, I spent most of the day with some friends who volunteered to help out and drive me to the event. I told Kane I would meet him there and that we’d set up ahead of time.

The location was about an hour away from our hotel, as we picked a place between our two appearances in Ohio. Leaving a few hours early we drove as the sun set quickly, leaving us in the desolate highway to speed along with a handful of other cars. After what seemed like forever, we took the dark exit that the GPS told us to. It seemed a bit odd as it was literally in the middle of farm land. Regardless, we kept driving; civilization had to be coming up soon.

Twenty minutes later, we hadn’t passed a single house; we were literally in the middle of giant farms. Part of me was waiting for the Creeper from Jeepers Creepers to attack our car at any moment. When the GPS bleeped that we were a mile from our destination, a pit in my stomach grew, we had to be lost, we were going to be late, and Kane would be pissed. Stopping at an intersection, we checked the directions and looked around into the sheer blackness as rain started to pour down. It was starting to feel more and more like a horror movie.

Confirming the address, we took a turn and kept going into the middle of nowhere when Kane called me, “Where the f*ck is this place?” He barked, obviously he wasn’t far behind us and on the same road to nowhere. I told him we were looking for it and we’d call him when we got there. As we kept driving, the GPS suddenly told us we had “arrived”. I saw nothing but a house about two hundred yards from the street. This could not be right. We drove a mile past the supposed location and found… nothing. Turning around my phone rang again. “I’m stopped in front of a damn house.” Kane obviously had just seen what we did. I told him to hold on and we rushed back to the “location”. When we pulled up next to Kane he rolled down his window and gave us the most deadpan, serious look I have ever seen him give.

I tried to act positive, though I knew if this was not the right location, we’d never make it in time to the real one… and if this was the location… Kane was not going to be happy. Before I could take the lead, Kane pulled down the long driveway to see where the hell we were. About half way down we came to a rickety ticket booth… we were at the right place. We spent a day traveling to the middle of Ohio to do an appearance at someone’s house…. I swallowed hard and wondered how the beating from Kane would feel.

As we got out of the car, it was pouring rain; we ran up to the front porch of the place and met some teenagers. When I found out they were the owners of this so called “haunted house”, I nearly fainted. Kane would never let the fact that I got tricked into an appearance at a house by some teenagers go.

“So you guys can set up here, on the porch. You can use the picnic table if you want. I could get another table too.” Dear Lord, this kid wanted us to use a picnic table, on the porch of his house. Part of me was waiting for Kane to snap and run off, but he seemed to almost be enjoying the fact that this was… well… weird.

“The rain will probably keep a lot of people away, it is an outdoor haunted attraction after all, and people walk through the woods in the back.” My heart sank even more, it wasn’t even a haunted house, it was a “haunted backyard”. More, so called “staff” (teenagers) started to come up to meet Kane. He graciously met them all as I wondered if I should really get all of our stuff and set up on the picnic table. Giving up and not wanting to be rude, I got our stuff and set up, though not as much as usual.

The rain kept coming down and we got the bad news from the fifteen year old CEO that the haunted walk will not be open that night due to the weather. Kane and I looked at each other. I kept wondering how we ended up on the porch of some teens house when cars started to show up. Amazingly, slowly but surely, a crowd started to grow.

I couldn’t believe it, here we were, sitting in front of a house, in the pouring rain, in the middle of absolutely nowhere, I mean, literally, the middle of nowhere, yet Kane’s fans were showing up. One after another people came to get copies of Unmasked and meet Kane. It wasn’t a huge crowd by any means, but for the situation, it was pretty amazing. Once again, Kane’s fans and their dedication amazed me.

While we didn’t get to see another haunted house or meet thousands of fans, it was a pretty good night. The teens were incredibly professional and well organized and even got some reporters to come out and interview Kane. The next day there was a nice article in a decent sized paper that I found in our hotel lobby. Thankfully, with the turn out and the press coverage, Kane didn’t kill me, nor did he even complain. 

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