Dracula. Frankenstein. Wolfman. The Mummy. Santa Claus… That's right. SANTA CLAUS. That jolly old fat man in the fuzzy red suit. His gaze beady as the black coal of a snowman's eyes.  Sit on his lap, they tell you. Better be nice. You know what happens to naughty children, don't you..? Yes. Naughty children. Awake in their beds on a cold Christmas Eve. Waiting. Listening. Wondering when the tap tap tap of reindeer hooves will invade from above. Making their way to the chimney. Down the fireplace comes the fat man… Dirty footsteps up the stairs… Past sleeping parents… Into YOUR room.  "Merry Christmas", the man will bellow. Drool coagulating on a yellowed beard. "Ho Ho HO!!!!!!!"  A stained glove makes its way around your throat, stifling a cry for help. You kick, knocking over a hand painted Quasimodo model, the one Daddy said would rot your mind if you never outgrew. Daddy also made you write that letter to Santa. Made sure you printed your address in bright, bold Crayola red. Red. The color that used to shade this hulking man beast's velvet suit, now worn black from the soot of a thousand visits to ‘naughty' little boys and girls… Naughty. Yes. You remind yourself. That cookie you swiped when mom wasn't looking. The time you asked God to take that bully who slugged you at the schoolyard. You used the "F" word then. Only once… But once must have been enough. Enough to find yourself lifted by this Claus, this Kringle. This leering goon now stuffing you in a bag full of other Naughties… Your brother and sister. Their breathing ceased. A silent night for them for sure. As your head bangs against the stairwell, you muster one last bit of fight, reach out and tug whatever you can--- the bells of a belt wrapped round the widened waist. Expecting flesh, you grasp at feathers. The stuffing of a pillow. It falls, temporarily blinding you. But through the fluff, you see his face. The dime store beard now falling away. Unveiling surprise and anger at being recognized. A surprise which prompts your final gurgle this holy night… DADDY……..

// More: I'm Dreaming of a Black Christmas: An Xmas Treat with John Saxon

Must admit I'm a bit giddy. I just found out Chillerama won "Best Use of Music in a Horror Movie" in FEARnet's year end wrap-up for the Best of 2011. According to judge Gregory Burkart (THANK YOU GREG!), "When the end credits rolled for this insanely hilarious anthology, I realized how much of its unstoppable energy came from the music, proving how much a talented composer can boost the production value of any film, no matter how small the budget. Just as the multiple directors' love of cheesy horror and exploitation flicks oozes (literally) through every frame, the same sense of nostalgic fun comes across in the wide assortment of cues and songs –  from the rampaging theme song from horror rockers Psycho Charger, to the overblown monster drama of "Wadzilla" to the schizo blend of sexually explicit lyrics and squeaky-clean beach party melodies in "I Was a Teenage Werebear." Not only is Chillerama one of 2011's most entertaining movies to watch, it's also got a groovy beat you can dance to."

// More: I Was a Rock and Roll Werebear

One of the highlights of I Was a Teenage Werebear, my segment of Chillerama (hitting the streets this coming Tuesday, November 29^th where all brand new flicks are sold, rented, downloaded, illegally pirated etc… ) is a scene in which I, as the lecherous Coach Tuffman, have my head squashed by conflicted student Ricky O'Reilly (played by Sean Paul Lockhart) in rebuttal to my ‘generous' offer to do for Ricky what ‘my wife will never do for me…".

// More: Anatomy of a Head Explosion -- In Which My Noggin' Goes BOOM!

For a lot of monster kids, the interest in goblins and ghoulies was more often then not frowned upon by ‘preachers and teachers' who, at best, thought it mind rotting and, at worst, that you might actually become the next Jeffrey Dahmer. So what to do when you yourself grow up and sire a monster kid of your own. In the case of Brandon Gramling, as mentioned in previously in SHOCK N ROLL, you replace Teddy Bears with Zuni Fetish dolls and put your son Gavin (my Godson) in starring roles in your home monster movies.

In the case of my dear pal, Dan Madigan and his son Kane… Well, you ponder.

// More: Monster Daddy 2: Raising Kane

For all us little boys who grew up watching Creature Features, reading Famous Monsters and painting Aurora Models they have a name- Monster Kid. But what to call those who have grown up to have kids of their own and for whom Halloween remains every day? Easy. Monster Daddy. (And of course, for those lovely little girls who preferred The Bride of Frankenstein to Barbie- Monster Mommy!) Though I myself have yet to sire a true flesh and blood son or daughter, I feel blessed to know a semblance of what it is like to be a proud Monster Daddy in my relationship with a young man named Brandon Gramling.

// More: Monster Daddy: Brandon Gramling

Nope, the title of this week's SNR does not refer to an epic battle between Mayor George W. Buckman and Joel Moore's Hitler from the Diary of Anne Frankenstein segment of Chillerama (although how cool would THAT be? Lol). Instead I am referring to the long and very frustrating war between 2001 Maniacs: Field of Screams and the German Ratings Board. Although FOS came out here in the states over a year and a half ago, it is just this month that German horror fans will finally be allowed to kick back with a bratwurst and beer and enjoy its twisted visions. Oktoberfest will never be the same.

// More: Deutscheland Maniacs: Buckman Vs. the Nazis

Any one who came of age in the 80's can more then likely recite the lyrics to Bon Jovi's Wanted Dead or Alive or Motley Crue's Home Sweet Home. It seemed every band after one or two albums had a song like those two about the trials and tribulations of being ‘on the road'. Ya know, scenes of heavy partying, drinking, rocking out in spandex with naked chicks interspersed with black and white shots of ‘lonely self reflection'. All those lyrics about riding a "steel horse", seeing ‘a million faces', ‘rocking them all' and then heading ‘on my way home sweet home'.

// More: On The Road With Chillerama

Gun to my head, it would be Fright Night. Yup. Freddy truly scared me. Pinhead freaked me out. Jason and the Living Dead's Return were bloody good fun. But with finger to the trigger forced to choose my favorite 80's horror show, without hesitation my answer would be Fright Night. Could anything be cooler? Well, maybe Charley Brewster, but I wouldn't want to wrestle Evil Ed over that one. Or maybe I would...

// More: Mr. Holland's 'Fright Night'

One of the great things about traveling the world to promote my flicks is the chance to go into the record and video stores of each destination. Can't tell you what it's like to walk into Tower Records in Dublin or the Virgin Megastore in the UK. Stores such as these in the US are tragically a dying breed, so I cherish the languorous times spent browsing overseas, discovering things one might never find scrolling through a website.

// More: UK Blu-ray Terrors: A Walk in 'The Funhouse' with Tobe Hooper

This week, (August 13th to be exact) marks the 12th anniversary of the 1999 release of Detroit Rock City, the first major movie I produced, and the project that introduced me to its director Adam Rifkin. It was on this flick Rif and I first conceived Chillerama, which all these years later is finally seeing the light of day. Of all the projects I have worked on, none have been as magical as Detroit Rock City. It truly was a labor of love, and the culmination, at the time, of many elements in my life coming together, my undying love for the rock group KISS topping the list.  The thread which KISS has woven through my life is undeniable. It ties me to so many aspects of my existence. Friendships. Creative collaborations.  My career. . I don't think it will ever end.  (Hell- just compare Phil Robert's artwork for Detroit Rock City to his artwork for Chillerama!

// More: A KISS is Still A KISS: Happy Bday 'Detroit Rock City'

Thomas Wolfe once said "You can't go home again." I beg to differ. This past weekend, I went ‘home' for the second time in a very special way- for I returned to the movie theater of my youth to screen my latest film, I Was a Teenage Werebear. This is my second screening at the Forum Theater in Metuchen, New Jersey, where many a childhood Friday and Saturday night was spent watching second run engagements of Jaws, Young Frankenstein, Rocky, Grease… basically the films that inspired me to make the films that I make. They used to get a different movie every Friday, usually a month or two after it played the First Run Theaters. I knew that Thursday night after the second show, they would change the marquee and switch out the posters. Clever lad that I was, I would head out there around 9pm and stare wide at the theater manager eyed, practically crying for him to give me last week's one sheet rather then destroy it, as (believe it or not) was required by the Motion Picture Association back in the day. And so with some great play acting, I acquired such gems as the posters for Conquest of the Planet of the Apes, Westworld, Poseidon Adventure, Willard, etc etc…

To think that the poster for my own films would adorn the theater's display, or that MY name would be on the marquee… But that is exactly the way it was this July 9th when I presented Werebear along with a special screening of Detroit Rock City, the film which gave me the break I needed to go on to direct 2001 Maniacs. These two films proved good bedfellows, both of them dealing with a nostalgic past, both subversive and rebellious, both fueled by rock and roll, both starring my good luck charm, Lin Shaye. Detroit Rock City initiated my friendship and creative partnership with Adam Rifkin, and it was during the making of that film the two of us came up with the concept for Chillerama. How cool to be presenting the two of them together- in front of the people that shaped my dreams and personality.

// More: You Can Go Home Again - Top Queer Fear Part Two

With 4^th of July fireworks still bursting in the air, how fitting that this week also marks the arrival of Q Fest, Philadelphia's premiere LGBT film festival. Having just played San Francisco and Denver to great success, I Was a Teenage Werebear will screen this Friday, July 8^th in the City of Freedom. The response to Teenage Werebear and its playfully subversive message of tolerance and "Room For All" has been quite heartening and encouraging not only for me, but for my Chillerama partners in crime, Adam Green, Joe Lynch and Adam Rifkin. The goal was to make something that particularly spoke to gay audiences, but at the same time did not alienate the mainstream (in other words- the ‘straight' majority!). It feels like we succeeded, and soon, when Chillerama starts playing in its entirety to more and more people, we will know for sure. In the meantime, it has been quite exciting testing the waters at the short film and horror festivals. This Friday is a particularly special occasion, for this screening at the Philly Q Fest will see Werebear's Sean Paul Lockhart receive the Rising Star Award.

// More: Sean Lockhart, Rising Star + My Top Queer Fears Part 1