BullShit ure ass off!!??

BullShit ure ass off!!??

thecarpenter666's picture

at the age of 4 i became the light wieght champion of the world in boxing, by the time i was 5 i had served in the US marines, british army ,foriegn legion, and the S.A.S, and had a total of over 6000 head shots! Being brought up on a farm i was always up early with my dad feeding the animals, he kept this huge bull in the back field ,and every morning he would make me run around in there with red pyjamas on!, by the age of 6 - till i was 10 years old , i worked with N.A.S.A, heading there mars space programme, as chief engineer i got to see all kinds of shit, and i gotta tell ya aliens really do exist!!!, the mission was a success and to this day mars and the milky way are both delicious as bed time snacks !, my teens were really cool as i got to travel first class every where i went, being primeminister of England had its perks but not with- out controversy, but thats another story , well I am now 6ft 6 inches blonde i got blue eyes and i look the spit of brad pit ,but confined to a mental hospital there really isnt much i can do about it !!!!!!1peace!!!AAAAAAARrrggggghhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!Laughing

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Miss Echo's picture

hahahahaha!! what a SPAZZ!!

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HELLFIGHTER's picture

Well, my mom gave birth to me was in full gallop and swinging a sword cause dad was busy leading the Huns to victory against the Romans. I had a fairly quiet upbringing until the age of two when Somali pirates attacked the yacht I was on. I must admit I was upset cause the delay might mean I would miss the championship boxing match by the number one ranked youngest boxer in the world, thecarpenter666. In a fit of temper I killed everyone on board, my own included and some fish that got too close including the last survivng megladon prehistoric shark. That took some doing as all I had was some twine, a pen and a paper bag. After discovering penicillan and allowing my colleague to take credit I was bored with being the wealthiest man on the planet and had finished my book on my ability to speak to dolphins and whales I decided to enter the military and upon retiring as Commandant of the Marine Corps and giving the Medal of Honor to that beer drinking boxer I had seen as a child who had since become a Marine, I continued my studies in interdimensional travel. Accepting a top secret position as ambassador from the planet earth, I was forced to live in a dimension entirely populated by beautiful women whose men had fallen to disease. After the first 200 births they marked the occasion by erecting statues of me throughout the planet and holding a speling contesst. I died happily in the 130th year of my birth having been worn out by the lasses. I collapsed on the 3rd stroke in the 9th hole. Dead but not forgotten my life was an inspiration to that dimension and brought peace to the galaxy. I am now dead but I am able to write this to you as I am now a ghost writer and have been nominated greatest ghost in the grave by BOOshit magazine and am looking for a handsome, brain dead body worthy of my possession so I may continue my work in genetics. . . .  . . .

 

FOR YOU NAYSAYERS. . . . . . A STATUE OF ME ON THE NEWLY ATMOSPHERED, COLONIZED PLANET OF  UR ANUS.

http://www.jungcircle.com/pic5.jpg


HELLFIGHTER's picture

LITTLE LAUGHBTW Carpy !

I frikken L O V E the part about you running around the bull in red Jammies, LMMFAO! Now, was that with the trap door UP or DOWN, cause DOWN causes wind drag, slows you down and REALLY pisses off that bull, lol. YOU DA MAN, CARP! Great discussion!

jmart2's picture

IV`E BEEN SOBER ALL WEEKEND AND I`M NOT HUNGOVER LOL

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HELLFIGHTER's picture

WOW ! Jman ! Thats some serious B.S. LOL ! Good one !

joestoutenger's picture

At first things were a little hazy,but it started clearing and I reolized..that I am so far advanced than any others,I can project thoughts to others in the very close range of my home,so my first thing I did was stop a nagging person from running their mouth,I projected a thought that thier tongue had been cut off in a very visious attack, it has worked,no more nagging..the person who feeds me has a disgusting habbit of spiking my food with alcohol so I projected a vision of spiking food with alcohol will cause warts and boils all over their body..the food is clean now..I have found that being in the area of knowlege that I can absorb all from books..tapes and even computers and my brain is growing at an alarming rate..I have recaculaed space time travel and found the cure's for the common cold,arthitis,and most cancers..Now being able to expand my power has found more cures and will share and re-educate the entire world and take over as extreme ruler of this and every other planet as soon as I'm born..it's getting very crowded in here..I need more room.....

joestoutenger's picture

yeeehaw little brother,if these get rated for the best line of bullshit..I think you got the winner..pours coffee

calebbotts's picture

I'd give my life story if the CIA didn't require me to remain absolutely scilent about it. I could tell you... but then I'd have to kill you.... lol

jmart2's picture

LMFAO maybe tru

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zombie_man's picture

I ran aroound nakked while eating a raw steak and got rabies for some reson while an alien probed my ass, but I enjoyed it, and my peter got leparsy and fell off. OH WAIT!!! you want me to make up something, not tell you what happened to me last night!!! SORRY

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