at the age of 4 i became the light wieght champion of the world in boxing, by the time i was 5 i had served in the US marines, british army ,foriegn legion, and the S.A.S, and had a total of over 6000 head shots! Being brought up on a farm i was always up early with my dad feeding the animals, he kept this huge bull in the back field ,and every morning he would make me run around in there with red pyjamas on!, by the age of 6 - till i was 10 years old , i worked with N.A.S.A, heading there mars space programme, as chief engineer i got to see all kinds of shit, and i gotta tell ya aliens really do exist!!!, the mission was a success and to this day mars and the milky way are both delicious as bed time snacks !, my teens were really cool as i got to travel first class every where i went, being primeminister of England had its perks but not with- out controversy, but thats another story , well I am now 6ft 6 inches blonde i got blue eyes and i look the spit of brad pit ,but confined to a mental hospital there really isnt much i can do about it !!!!!!1peace!!!AAAAAAARrrggggghhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!
@ HF RE: BULLSHEET URE ARSE OFF !!!
Well HF- If you SINCERELY do believe that my story is true, then I apologize. I guess I was having one of my many BLONDE MOMENTS- LOL- and I do remember when educators wanted to make "ebonics" a language- I was in High School- TALK ABOUT TOTAL BULLSHEET !!!!
bullshit ure ass off!!??
man i woke up this morning dangling from the ceiling with a crate of beers beneath me , i knew i was in for a hard day so i slept for another 6 hours, finally I woke up ,released me bat feet from the ceiling and as i was walking down the stairs i slipped up and tumbled down down down to the gates of hell, at the gates there was this goblin looking at me all wierd and sheet so i asked him what the problem was, he told me to fook off and slit my wrists , he said we need your blood to paint the devils bedroom, !!! u can kiss my big fat ass u smelly fookin goblin, my blood is to fookin good for that lepers bedroom, !! i got into me batmobile and sped the fook outta there,,, i pulled over at the local petrol station to load up and the attendant came out wearing a bunny suit i sad how goes it rabbit, she said not bad how much u looking for , i said fill her up lassie, she barked then growled then turned into a werewolf, i sheet me pants so i needed to get to the laundrette a bit sharpish, when i got there it was closed, sheeeeeeeeeeet!!!!, anyhows forget the pants bit, so off i went skidding round the corners literally, like lewis fookin hamilton, i looked into me rear view and was being followed by a bunch of naked hells angels , i threw them a case of bananas and they soon wernt in me rear view, i made it back to me gaff, ran up the stairs and opened a cold can of red stripe as i went to sip the can shouted,' if u drink me i will kill you'!!!!, fook me whats happening here, i launched it out the window, it screamed 'NNNnooooooooooooooooo!!!!!'!, so now i am going to the park to go on the swings get some air how about you!!!!lol
Re: BullShit ure ass off!!??
good 1 bud, now that shit could be turned into a hell of a short or movie!!
thanks for tossin it, drinkin that beer now, btw, you missunderstood it, it wasn't sayin I"ll kill you it was sayin - drink me I'm killer!! lol
Re: BullShit ure ass off!!??
SHIT ! ! ! ! I cant believe I missed this GEM ! Thanks boots ! If it werent for you I would have missed out on the latest LIFE WITH CARPY episode, lmao! LOVE this discussion.
Re: BullShit ure ass off!!??
I tripped and fell down an escalator once....it took all daaaaaaaaay
Re: BullShit ure ass off!!??
I once shot an elephant in my pajamas. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
@HF
I JUST TOSS OFF ELEPHANTS DRESSED AS A WOMAN IN MY MOTHERS CLOATHS!
LOL! this thread is fuckin mad!
i do like tossing elephants off though
Re: BullShit ure ass off!!??
i imagined i was in horror movies and i never got killed ever no matter what hit me or whatwas thrown at me, falling off a cliff, getting shot in the head etc etc,i was invincible in these movies
Re: BullShit ure ass off!!??
oh to get really creative, i imagined i was hanging on the edge of a cliff completly naked dripping in chocolate
bo sheet ure ass off!!??
yesterday was yesterday and today is tommorrow , i dont know what fookin day it is at all !!found a tree in my pocket with a bunch of names on it ,, it was my family ,, i cut my ears off and and sellotaped em to my waist i now look like an elephant !!
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