I?ve always had trouble being scared by a man whose name is so dangerously close to ketchup, having said that, Jack Ketchum is probably the scariest M.F. to ever touch pen to paper and is also solely responsible for making me never want to eat anything, with or without Heinz 57 on it, ever again. I know what you?re thinking ? c?mon, you?re not the true iron-gutted horror hound you claim to be if a mess of words can make you lose your lunch (unless you happen to be reading a certain mess that involves Chuck Palahniuk and hot tub jets ? then you?re only human)...

 Well, if that?s how you feel, it might be time for you to check out the visuals that go with the book. Pictures from the upcoming screen adapt of Ketchum?s The Offspring have hit the web by way of Facebook (or, as I so lovingly refer to it, the thinking man?s MySpace) and they have not only done justice to Jack-Attack?s onslaught on my appetite but have also made me consider never going near a kitchen again. Yeah, it?s like that? We?ve posted them below but BUYER BEWARE (although they?re free so that doesn?t really make you a buyer at all): you may never look at a stove the same way again?

For those of you who don't know, the Offspring is directed by Andrew van den Houten and centers its story around the events that transpire during a cannibal holocaust in rural Maine.