Attention, devotees of the B-movie Golden Era: if the very mention of Roger Corman brings a tear of nerdy nostalgia, it's OK... you're in good company. Long before Shout! Factory announced the triumphant re-release of several exploitation cinema gems from the famed producer-director, we've held those anti-classics close to our hearts for decades.

So what’s our deal? What is it about one man's legacy of ultra-cheap weekend wonders that has us shelling out our hard-earned scratch for a Blu-Ray of Forbidden World to replace that faded, crumbling VHS we've kept in a museum display case for fifteen years? (Wait, that was just me... never mind.)  But really, what keeps us coming back?

For me, it's those insane, unforgettable moments of complete dementia - isolated pockets of pure WTF majesty that carved this man's movies into my happy place forever. So join me and celebrate the [wrongness] with a carnival of Corman crazy!

First, to make things more interesting, I've included a handy Reference Guide, rating each clip according to a few important criteria:

1. Kill Count: number of onscreen deaths and/or corpses
2. Cheapness: amount of budget allotted for the film featured – from “$” (roughly the price of a Happy Meal) to “$$$” for fairly generous (at least for a Corman project)
3. Sleaze Factor: Level of sexploitation, naughtiness or just plain wrong-ness
4. Dick Miller Sightings: Appearance of the ubiquitous character actor, who shows up in Corman productions more than any other playa in the game
5. Corman Crazy Count (CCC): the scene's total ranking on the entertain-o-meter

Prepared yet? Let's get on this mofo.

Chopping Mall (1986): Robots + Panties + Lasers = WIN
Proving once again that graphic violence and gratuitous T&A go together like bacon and... well, anything, I refer you to this classic moment from Jim Wynorski's Chopping Mall (aka Killbots), on which Corman served as Executive Producer. Shortly after enjoying a nice peek at Barbara (Re-Animator) Crampton's goodies (sorry, not in this clip), we also get to see how another blonde victim's well-toned behind can effectively repel point-blank laser fire... until she foolishly turns around to demonstrate how the head shot is still, as they say, the only true stopper.

Kills: 1 (but quality counts)
Cheapness (from $ to $$$): $$
Sleaze Factor: 6 (for closeup on laser-resistant panties)
Dick Miller Sightings: 0.5 (Not in this scene, but he's there)
Corman Crazy Count: 7

Death Race 2000 (1975): Frankenstein Scores!
On those rare days when I'm not missing David Carradine with every fiber of my being, scenes like this come along and I get all blubbery again. I mean, who else can pull off the classic “Euthanasia Day” scene from this Paul Bartel-directed epic with such panache? Demonstrating his “100 percent red-blooded American sense of humor (heh-heh),” Death-racer extraordinaire Frankenstein decides to teach those smug doctors a lesson... and the bodies literally go flying. One extra point for the guy impaled on the hood-spines of Frankenstein's monster machine – sweet!

Kills: 8
Cheapness (from $ to $$$): $$
Sleaze Factor: 5 (for the concept alone)
Dick Miller Sightings: 0 (Dickless)
Corman Crazy Count: 8

Hollywood Boulevard (1976): Everybody's Doin' It
It's hard to single out the most memorable scene from a movie that is nothing BUT memorable scenes, and there's no nudity to be found (considering the flick itself brings maximum boobage), but this will still remain one of my all-time favorite Corman movie moments for its unique role in music history. Hipster boogie band Commander Cody and His Lost Planet Airmen (still rockin' today!) contributed this musical interlude to the Joe Dante/Allan Arkush quickie Hollywood Boulevard for next to nothing, in exchange for turning their appearance into a fast-paced promo clip, years before MTV was a glimmer in Michael Nesmith's eye. Dante has said even the sleaze-savvy Corman “raised an eyebrow” when he first heard this song, but my response was – and still is – a huge shit-eating grin.

Kills: 0
Cheapness (from $ to $$$): $
Sleaze Factor: 1 (It's just a word, dude)
Dick Miller Sightings: 0.5 (Dick does sing in this movie, but not here)
Corman Crazy Count: 5

Humanoids from the Deep (1980): Congratulations, it's a... HOLY SHIT!
Corman's involvement in this lovely closer to the sleazy monster mash Humanoids from the Deep was kinda sleazy in itself – legend has it he ordered up this Alien-inspired coda (as well as several of the film's infamous and nasty fish-on-girl rape scenes) after director Barbara Peeters completed her cut. Regardless of who shot it, this is pretty nasty shit, and still unsettling to watch even three decades on. Looking back to my grade school days, when they took us kids to the gym to watch a horrifying “Miracle of Birth” educational film, my only memories of that trauma look pretty much like this.

Kills: 1 (presumably)
Cheapness (from $ to $$$): $$
Sleaze Factor: 9 (This is just so wrong)
Dick Miller Sightings: 0 (Negative Dickness)
Corman Crazy Count: 8

It Conquered the World (1956): Lee Van Cleef vs. Big-Ass Traffic Cone 
This one's a Corman double-whammy (he produced and directed), with a budget that's rock-bottom by even Roger's standards. The immortal Lee Van Cleef had to take his most excellent mustache way the fuck to Italy to do a bunch of awesome spaghetti westerns just to recover his mojo after co-starring in this brain-damaged cinematic wonder, in which he battles a mind-controlling beast whose identity is revealed to be... what's that thing supposed to BE, anyway? Note that Lee recites his final line directly to the camera, presumably to avoid having to emote in a two-shot with a giant snarling butt-plug. Still, he goes down wielding a flamethrower, which is exactly the way I'd like to exit this life... so it's all good.

Kills: 4
Cheapness (from $ to $$$): $
Sleaze Factor: 0 (cleaner than skeeter's peter)
Dick Miller Sightings: 1 (We have Dick! And he's got a helmet!)
Corman Crazy Count: 8

Big Doll House (1971): The Queen of All Catfights
The presence of the one-and-only Pam Grier automatically raises the bar for any exploitation flick, and during her '70s prime you could pretty much count on seeing Pam in at least one women-in-prison picture per year. Corman produced tons of these sweaty chicks-in-chains epics, but the Philippines-shot Big Doll House is probably the best... and while it's full of classic moments, it's this mud-pit throwdown between Pam and onscreen rival Roberta Collins is the stuff dreams are made of. Well, MY dreams, anyway. “Are we finished?” “Screw you, bitch!”

Kills: 0
Cheapness (from $ to $$$): $
Sleaze Factor: 7 (sadly, neither combatant lost her top)
Dick Miller Sightings: 0 (You wouldn't have noticed him anyway)
Corman Crazy Count: 6

The Little Shop of Horrors (1960): Jack Nicholson, a creepy nutbag? Who knew?
Decades before he crammed his horrifying mug through a bathroom door and into cinema history, the baby-faced Nicholson was already quite skilled at being totally skeevy, even back in this legendary scene from the original The Little Shop of Horrors, in which Jack manages to steal an entire movie in less than four minutes. After breathlessly reading a magazine entitled PAIN, undertaker Wilbur Force happily undergoes a bit of amateur dentistry (“No Novocaine, it dulls the senses”). I'm not sure what's more unsettling: the fact that Wilbur is clearly aroused by having his teeth drilled... or that the dentist has a copy of PAIN. Still, it's less upsetting than “Highlights for Children,” which is all my dentist's office seems to have in the waiting room.

Kills: 1 (The doctor is out... for good)
Cheapness (from $ to $$$): $
Sleaze Factor: 8 (For Jack's noises alone)
Dick Miller Sightings: 0.5 (He's around somewhere)
Corman Crazy Count: 7

Rock 'n' Roll High School (1979): Hey! Ho! Let's Go... Bugshit Insane!
In a movie already overflowing with the crazy, director Allan Arkush decided that it wasn't fun enough to have perky P.J. Soles rockin' out with the Ramones... the movie needed a little extra, I dunno, something, to send the final reel over the top. Hey, how about the complete and utter destruction of the entire school? And when I say “complete and utter destruction,” I mean exactly that... and apparently so did the filmmakers, since they decided to set off one of the largest explosions in Corman movie history. But not before giving the gorgeous Mary Woronov (as Principal Togar) a chance to grandstand in a sexy riot helmet... and let's face it, any movie featuring P.J. brandishing a chainsaw is guaranteed high-grade awesome. But to this day I still don't know what's the deal with the giant rat in the frilly dress...

Kills: Unknown
Cheapness (from $ to $$$): $$
Sleaze Factor: 5 (coed showers!)
Dick Miller Sightings: 1 (Chief Dick on duty!)
Corman Crazy Count: 10

The Trip (1967): Gosh, I wonder how this movie got its name?
As they say, that which is seen, cannot be unseen. That really should have been the tagline to this entire movie. But hey, it's got the late, great Dennis Hopper acting as LSD spirit guide to his future Easy Rider co-star Peter Fonda, plus a funky little guy on a miniature merry-go-round, and... wait, was that toothpaste? This movie is literally one endless loop of Corman crazy (hey, don't hang it all on him, man... Jack Nicholson wrote this thing) but this scene is definitely one of the coolest... if by “cool” you mean “I have no fucking idea what just passed before my eyes.” A phrase that I'd like to think dear Mr. Hopper probably said to himself... a LOT.

Kills: Who the hell knows?
Cheapness (from $ to $$$): $$
Sleaze Factor: 6 (I think)
Dick Miller Sightings: 0 (Dick don't turn on, man!)
Corman Crazy Count: 10

X: The Man with the X-Ray Eyes (1963): If Thine Eye Offend Thee... GAAAAHHH!!!
Given its vintage, the final moments of this film still manage to weird me out a little... in case you missed it, it's one of Corman's strong directing efforts, starring Ray Milland as a doctor who invents an eye serum that enables him to see through clothes (could be fun), then bodies (creepy, but useful), then... well, it's hard to tell what he's seeing after that, but it's implied that he's gazing into some twelfth dimensional-crap... which might just be gazing back. The film ends when Milland heeds the above scriptural passage and rips his big black orbs out of their sockets, but Corman has since said he shot a final line of dialog that was cut from the film for being too shocking: “I can still see!” Whether that's true or not, the idea kinda makes ya crawly, doesn't it?

Kills: 0 (maybe)
Cheapness (from $ to $$$): $$
Sleaze Factor: 4 (tent revivals always make me squirm)
Dick Miller Sightings: 0 (If thine Dick offend thee... sorry, that was cheap)
Corman Crazy Count: 6

The Raven (1963): Boris Karloff & Vincent Price... Mega Magic Pimp-Off
Wait... am I still watching The Trip? Sorry, I got thrown by Vinnie's groove-tastic wizard threads. Anyway, this one's from the famous and fun Corman-directed Edgar Allen Poe series... even though it only dedicates about two minutes to Poe's source material. Hey, it's only a short poem, so you gotta jump off from there, I guess. So why not have the occult equivalent of a girly slap-fight? But seriously, folks, this is da real shit: vampire bats, cannons, knives, snakes, blood, cheap glowing stuff, Jack Nicholson (again) and Hazel Court's massive knockers... all from the comfort of a lush drawing room complete with a giant dragon-covered fire pit. Dude, I wanna party with these guys.

Kills: 0
Cheapness (from $ to $$$): $$
Sleaze Factor: 3 (pretty wholesome, but ohhh, Hazel...)
Dick Miller Sightings: 0 (Dick-free zone)
Corman Crazy Count: 6

Piranha (1978): Camper Soup Is Good Food!
I'm sure the 3D remake thing is going to be fun, but I still gotta give it up for Joe Dante's original... and by “original,” I mean a blatant Jaws ripoff so awesome that Spielberg didn't have the heart to sue Corman and company. And can you blame him? This is '70s exploitation at its finest. There's fun moments aplenty in this gem, but my personal favorite has to be the wanton mauling of several dozen young campers and counselors – one of which being super cute Corman/Dante regular Belinda Balaski, who is literally dragged to the bottom of the lake by some seriously buffed-out killer fish. It's a goofy death, sure... but you gotta admit it's kinda creepy.

Kills: 1 (Betsy, nooooo!)
Cheapness (from $ to $$$): $$
Sleaze Factor: 7 (Fish eatin' kids? how vulgar!)
Dick Miller Sightings: 1 (a few minutes later... with Barbara Steele!)
Corman Crazy Count: 8

Galaxy of Terror (1981): She HATES worms... but they looooove HER!
Do I even need to go into detail? I probably should – not because you haven't heard about the scene, but because we can't actually show it. Plus I suppose there's a few folks out there who actually haven't seen this classic yet, thanks to it being a virtual non-entity since the bygone VHS days. Hell, even if you haven't seen Galaxy of Terror, you've likely heard rumors about the “Ginormous Rape Happy Maggot.” If those words fill you with revulsion, then you really don't want to know that this movie is now available on Blu-Ray. For the rest of you sickos, the Holy Grail has been found. It's actually a really cool flick, to tell the truth, and the disc is packed with goodies – including many stories about the Ginormous Rape Happy Maggot (oddly enough, the only scene in the film Corman actually visited the set to watch). And so the Japanese comic book industry would thus change forever. The End.

Kills: 1 (By orgasm, apparently)
Cheapness (from $ to $$$): $$$
Sleaze Factor: 10 (Dude, GINORMOUS RAPE-HAPPY MAGGOT!)
Dick Miller Sightings: 0 (No Dick in this flick)
Corman Crazy Count: 11

Check out FEARnet's Post Mortem with Mick Garris and Roger Corman