It's final lap of our 20 favorite zombie countdown. Can you stand the excitement? You know, I am going to miss zombie week when this is over. There is something comforting about waking up each morning and knowing that you will spend most of the day with rotting flesh and delicious brains.
In any case, enjoy our zombie finalists.
5. Zombie Penis
First Appearance: 2003‘s Beyond Re-Animator, directed by Brian Yuzna
Bio: In this third installment from the Re-Animator franchise, Dr. West is in prison for his hand in creating homicidal zombies. Prison will not abate his obsession with the living dead, and soon he is turning everyone and everything into a zombie. As we learned from the previous Re-Animator films, just because a body part is chopped off doesn’t mean it is for-realsies dead. So when a zombie warden rapes a zombie lady, and she fights back by biting off his penis... well, that penis won’t stay down. It spends much of the movie fighting with the only thing of comparable size: a zombie rat.
Diet: Do penises eat?
Awesome Because: It is a zombie penis. Do I really have to spell it out for you?
4. Trash
First Appearance: Return of the Living Dead, 1985. Part punk, part goth (and maybe a little Jane Fonda with those leg warmers), Trash views herself as being pretty edgy and deep. But it takes death for her to reach her full potential.
Bio: In a not so subtle bit of foreshadowing, Trash (Linnea Quigley) first emerges as a raven-haired punk, fantasizing about her own demise. She also performs a memorable striptease, tearing open her shirt to show off her ample assets. But be careful what you wish for, as they always say. Trash would see her fantasy come to light soon enough in exactly the manner she feared most, attacked by a group of old zombies, pawing and gnawing at her tender young flesh. While Zombie Trash may not have the verbosity of living Trash, she's still got the hooters and the penchant for public nudity, quite possibly the best zombie distraction tactic yet. But pause to admire her headlights and you're dinner.
Diet: Although you might think Zombie Trash would be into something a little kinky in the afterlife, her undead self appears to be of the standard, garden variety human flesh cravers.
Awesome Because: Even in death, Trash knows the value of a little sex appeal. And if you're going to be eaten alive, at least you get a show first.
3. The Witch
First Appearance: Left 4 Dead, November 2008. One of the breakout "infected" stars from the hit first game, she would return with some new threads in part two.
Bio: Who can resist a crying women? But beware, this dark lady isn't looking for comfort. This mysterious lady's backstory is shrouded in mystery. What we do know is that she's quicker and tougher than she appears, revealing razor sharp claw hands primed to incapacitate all who disturb her. This capable gal's a fight best avoided by all but the most expert of gamers. After gaining fame as one of the breakout characters from the first game, the Witch returned in part two with a vengeance. Part two also introduced variations on the Witch: a Bride Witch, forever waiting at the alter with her guests and a wandering Witch that could be lurking around any corner.
Diet: This Witch has a sweet tooth, so be careful if you have any Pixy Stix in your bag. She's not after flesh for food, per se, but that doesn't mean she won't tear an intruder for bits just for bothering her.
Awesome Because: Especially if you're into the whole goth thing, the Witch is kinda hot, especially with her torn shirt, skimpy underwear and abs of steel. But with those Edward Scissorhands-esque claws and putrid smell, she's best admired from afar.
Tomorrow, we reveal our top two favorite, all-time kick-ass zombies. Who - or what - do you think made it to the top No hints this time!
