Another interview, another gorgeous blonde… It's easy to get jaded in this business, seeing as how you're exposed to so many photogenic people. Of course some of them turn out to have personalities. But then you get worse than jaded. Then you get bitter. Bitter that life or God or the Flying Spaghetti Monster has seen fit to bestow upon some lucky sons of bitches… Ahem. Sorry. Got a little sidetracked there.
Anyway, last week I talked to actress Desi Lydic (pictured above to the left of Kenan Thompson, a.k.a. the luckiest person on earth) at the red carpet Hollywood premiere of her new film Stan Helsing, in which she plays Mia, an archetypal dumb blonde on her way to a Halloween party with some friends, who finds herself sidetracked by parodies of some of the most famous faces in modern horror. I feel pretty confident in saying that the smart, witty Lydic is the best thing in the movie. Not only because she's got the kind of body that causes traffic accidents, but because she has a lot of fun playing her role to the extreme. Particularly in the end credits, a send-up of The Girl Next Door's climactic, er, climax…
Please read on before I type something else that's inappropriate.
So in this film you're playing a character with an IQ substantially lower than the one you have in real life.
[Deadpan.] What are you talking about?
What can you tell us about her? How would you describe her?
Mia is... MIA (Missing in Action). She is somewhere between Betty Boop and a four-year-old in really slutty costumes.
You actually wear two slutty costumes in the film.
Good God, how did I lose count. A cheerleader, a nurse…
And a school girl, yes. [Laughs.]
Did you insist on this fascinating variety?
It was in the script. [Director] Bo Zenga wrote it in. It's funny that a man came up with that idea… My favorite part is that it makes absolutely no sense, because Mia doesn't carry a bag or a purse. There's no explanation as to where these outfits come from. It's magic.
The funniest bit with you is actually in the end credits.
I wasn't sure if that was going to make it in.
Was that improvised? It felt like it.
Yeah. That was one of those things where, at the end of the day, you're feeling a little delirious, just trying to keep going, and… Yeah. [Laughs.]
Are you a horror fan in real life?
I am a horror fan. I'm also a huge spoof fan. But I'm a wuss – I get really scared with scary movies.
There's a lot of great monsters parodied in this film – Freddy, Jason, Chucky. Do you have a favorite?
In our movie, I would say Pinhead is really hilarious. He has the needles, but he also has darts. And Chucky was pretty scary.
What's your greatest fear in real life?
Fear itself, eh? That one's hard to top. What's next for you?
I have a web series in development, a comedy like The Daily Show. I'm going to be hosting and producing.
That sounds terrific. Thanks for chatting with us, Desi.