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News Article

FEARNET Killer Snack Attack: 'Motel Hell’s' Fritters


Motel HellIt takes all kinds of critters to make Farmer Vincent’s fritters!

Farmer Vincent is the king of farm-to-table. Making small batch smoked meats and fritters, he’s a Brooklyn bistro’s dream.  There’s just one tiny catch: all of his delicious meats are made from people.

Movie: Motel Hell

Year: 1980

Deadly Recipe: Farmer Vincent’s Fritters are made from top-quality human meat that has been planted in the ground for a number of days and force fed. Vocal cords are cut early on so the animals can't call for help. Sadly, it can’t be called organic, exactly, because Vincent and Ida have to sedate their animals.

Chef: There are really two cooks in the kitchen. Farmer Vincent is head chef, and Ida works as the Sous-chef helping to capture, feed, and cultivate the unlucky strangers who happen by Motel Hell (o). Vincent knows the perfect mixtures of meat, and which parts work best as fritters. Tongues don’t mix with pork.

Culinary Kill: There are quite a few great moments of planting and harvesting, but none so heart-warming as the moment Vincent and Ida share while force-feeding the bunch of hippie ner-do-wells who happened by in a van.

“You think I’m doing this all for the fun,” Ida asks as Vincent looks on proudly. “Somebody’s got to take some responsibility for the planet.”

Leftovers: In the end things don’t turn out so well for Vincent. After a fight in which he wears a pig’s head and brandishes a chainsaw, he is mortally wounded. His final words a sad lament to his secret use of preservatives.

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