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News Article

Horror Porn Parodies from Hell: Ten Titilating Takes on the Genre

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Porn and horror: the holy diptych of boobies and blood fits perfectly together – which must explain why there are dozens of porn parodies riffing off the genre, popping up everywhere. We decided to take a peek at some of the most faithful (we say this loosely), terrible, and funniest horror porn parodies out there. The lovely and lewd lasses and lads of smut have spiced up your favorite flicks – teasing and pleasing their way into your DVD player and pants. Here are several for your (viewing) pleasure. Let us know which ones you've watched – for research, of course.

NSFW Warning!

The Human Sexipede

What it lacks in Dieter Laser as a lunatic doctor who sews people together into a gory human chain, it makes up for in hardcore sex – minus the stitches and septic wounds. Tom Byron channels the best of Udo Kier for his Human Sexipede parody – a dirtier version of last year's grossout smash – that seems to deliver a few decent laughs before it gets to the money shot.
 

 

Scream XXX

After the release of Wes Craven's Scream 4, many are wishing they'd stayed home to watch this XXX installment in the postmodern slasher series instead. Eli Cross (har har) directs this sleazy take on the Ghostface killer flick, which stars a very bored looking Ron Jeremy, and a goofy everything else. They get points for trying at least – there are the phone calls, the iconic mask, and the Rose McGowan garage door death

 


Friday the 13th

Camp Crystal Lake becomes Crystal Lake Nudist Camp (duh!) for this Zero Tolerance remake of the beloved 1980 horror classic. Director Gary Orona's ode to Jason Vorhees looks surprisingly well shot, even though the trailer's "best" line is, "They say some guy drowned in the lake because he had a giant penis."

 



Silence of the Lambs

Ben English makes a sexy Hannibal the Cannibal – and he probably eats everyone in this Silence of the Lambs parody. Kagney Linn Karter does a pretty good impression of Jodie Foster as Clarice Starling (who apparently looks like a "five dollar lesbian") – the FBI agent hunting serial killer Buffalo Bill. And speaking of the human skin suit-maker, his appearance in this trailer is spot on – extensive lipstick application, curly mullet and all.

 



The Blair Witch Project A Triple X Thriller

The trailer for The Blair Witch parody features a lot of people screaming into a shaky camera. So it's basically like the original, but the film promises some reprieve from the madness when a group of adult film stars get lost and make sexytime in the Maryland woods.


Day of the Living MILF

There's something about normal-ish movie titles with the word MILF tacked onto them that is instantly funny. Clearly the makers of this zombie porn extravaganza labored over this flick's moniker, which surrounds a group of MILFS who rise from the grave when a medical truck accidentally crashes into a cemetery. The sperm samples on board seep into the ground, which sets the MILFS on a frenzy for a well-endowed donor.

 



Saw: A Hardcore Parody

Making a hardcore porn parody named after an extreme horror flick known for its torture devices and deadly games seems like it has some interesting potential, but this spoof modeled after the Saw series looks fairly uninspired. The legendary Ron Jeremy makes an appearance in Saw: A Hardcore Parody with the equally famous Ginger Lynn.

 



Tru: A XXX Parody

The horny hilarity of the horror porn spoof extends into the supernatural world of television. HBO's True Blood – an already sexy tale about a group of vampires living in New Orleans – seems ripe for the picking. The casting in this one appears true to form – and seeing the Nordic, undead club owner, Eric, wearing a cheap and cheesy blonde wig is good for a giggle.
 



Rocki Whore Picture Show: A Hardcore Parody

Mac Turner plays the transsexual scientist from Transylvania in what appears to be a very faithful retelling of The Rocky Horror Picture Show. The costumes look fun, the acting doesn't seem half bad, and the lyrics have been altered to lines like, "It's just a hump to the left … "
 

 

The Twilight Zone Porn Parody

It seems obvious that the Rod Serling-hosted anthology series The Twilight Zone is secretly about frustrated suburban wife-swapping, right? Director Paul Thomas thinks so, and he's dished up this tale about a strange couple that ravishes an entire neighborhood, turning things upside down for the formerly quaint and reserved citizens of Smalltown, USA.
 

 

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