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News Article

Seven Evil Implements of Death in Christmas Horror Movies


If you're reading, chances are good that you already know about all the Christmas movies that the horror genre has to offer. There are classics like Bob Clark's 1974 masterpiece Black Christmas, the controversial Silent Night, Deadly Night from 1984, and the schlocky Don't Open Till Christmas from the very same year. What many of you might not remember, however, if you haven't seen them in the last decade are some of the crazy (and festive) evil implements of death used to decimate innocent people in the films. Everything from deer antlers and icicles to toy soldiers and Christmas trees find their way into the hands of evil. Check out our list below and be sure to pop into the comments section to let us know your favorite evil implement of death in a Christmas horror movie. Happy Holidays!

Toy Soldier – Christmas Evil 

Harry saw his Mommy kissin' Santa Claus… and it really pissed him off! In fact, it made him a crazed Christmas obsessive who works in a toy factory by day and plots death and destruction by night. This 1980 classic (also known as You Better Watch Out!) has a good dose of humor to go with its gore, but the money shot comes when Harry (Brandon Maggart) takes one of his hand-crafted toy soldiers (with purposely overlong and overly sharp sword) and promptly plunges it deep into some poor sap's eye socket, gouging out his eyeball. It's a moment that nearly comes out of nowhere and it's a fantastic look at what happens when you piss off Santa.

Glass Unicorn Figurine – Black Christmas (1974)

Black Christmas is often considered the cornerstone of the Christmas horror movie subgenre, and rightly so. Bob Clark (who also directed the film that has become the de-facto Christmas classic – A Christmas Story) crafts one of the most suspenseful slasher flicks of all time, let alone Christmas slasher flicks. If you only know Black Christmas from the horrid 2006 remake, now's the time to get a copy of the original on Blu-ray or DVD and bask in the awesomeness. While there are several cool kills throughout the film, there's none more iconic then when Margot Kidder's Barb is stabbed repeatedly with a glass unicorn figurine until she's fully dispatched. Any kill scene that involves death by unicorn is a great kill scene.

Evil Snowman Molestation – Jack Frost

With a tagline like "He's Chillin' and Killin'" who needs a synopsis, right? Jack Frost is one of the worst films on this list but man does it have some awesome kill scenes. The 1996 tale of a once-human serial killer turned sadistic snowman hell bent on revenge has achieved cult classic status based on its so-bad-it's-good quality and the crazy look on that evil snowman's face. The signature kill in Jack Frost is such an odd scene that it's more about evil snowman molestation than it is pure kill. A young Shannon Elizabeth is attacked in the bathtub by the evil snowman and is basically just molested by Jack Frost's carrot (let's just say Jack's nose isn't the only thing made out of a carrot) until she's dead. This comes right after the evil friggen snowman killed her boyfriend with sharpened icicles. Sadistic bastard!

Icicle – Santa's Slay

James Caan must have owed Brett Ratner a favor or something because I can't think of another reason that he appears in the Ratner-produced Santa's Slay. In fact, the film is inexplicably filled with movie stars including Robert Culp, Fran Drescher, Chris Kattan, Rebecca Gayheart, Emilie de Ravin, and Bill Goldberg as the demon Santa himself. Talk about star power! Golberg's Santa is probably one of the most badass Santas you've ever seen, full of his signature pro-wrestling style of acting. While there are some quality kills throughout the film, the most satisfying come courtesy of psycho Santa slamming icicles through a few helpless souls' heads. They're gruesome and fun to watch, pretty much exactly like the whole film.

Christmas Tree - Treevenge

Jason Eisener's 2008 short film Treevenge begs the question: "What would happen if all the Christmas trees fought back?" Well, here's a hint… They'd leave a wake of bloody carnage throughout the holiday season. They would maul your little kids, separate your cat's head from its body, gouge out your eyeballs, and generally cause a huge bloody mess. Treevenge has just about everything you could want from a killer-trees flick (it certainly puts The Happening to shame) and gore-filled kill scenes are awesome. All in a nice fifteen-minute package. It won the Audience Award at both Toronto After Dark Festival and Fantasia Film Festival, and now you can watch it in its entirety online. O Tannenbaum is right!

Sled – Jack Frost

How could we not include two kills from Jack Frost? The film has so much good ones! This time around, the kill comes courtesy of a normal, everyday sled. Normally used for a fun day of sleigh riding, evil friggen snowman Jack Frost decides to use it to perform a decapitation. While young Ryan is building a snowman, Billy shows up and tells him to get out of his way so he can go sledding. Then he promptly slices of the head of Ryan's snowman. That's when Jack Frost springs to life and knocks Billy to the ground just as one of his friends is sledding by. You get the idea… Blades headed straight for Billy's throat and that's when his head goes flying through the air – a perfect decapitation by sled. Just goes to show that Jack Frost always gets the last laugh.

Deer Antlers – Silent Night, Deadly Night

We round out our list with another certified Christmas horror classic in 1984's Silent Night, Deadly Night. Another pyscho-killer-in-a-Santa-suit flick, the film has long been one of the most controversial Christmas horrors and spawned a seemingly endless line of progressively worse sequels. What they may lack in quality, however, they make up for in fun Christmas kills. You might even think we'd conclude our list with the choking death of a man courtesy of a string of Christmas lights, but you'd be wrong. No, we're going with the death of scream queen Linnea Quigley as her character Denise is impaled (topless!) on a rack of deer antlers. She's a legend for a reason, and her death here is an absolute Christmas classic!