FEARNET Movie Review: 'Nurse 3D'


If you've seen any of the marketing materials for the gleefully insane new horror movie Nurse 3D, then you probably know what you're in for: weird sex, graphic violence, and several familiar actors running through familiar motions before ending up gored on a rock or beheaded with a bone-saw. This is nothing resembling a deep, intellectual, or insightful horror flick. Nurse 3D is, however, quite a bit of good, gruesome fun if you enjoy "body count" horror combined with a basic but serviceable plot yanked straight out of Single White Female.

Paz de la Huerta plays a psychotic nurse who does fine work during the day, but kills philandering men at night. Given the gal's sinful body and amorous attitude, she doesn't have much trouble finding victims. But bloodthirsty Abby's activities are interrupted with the arrival of an adorable new nurse (Katrina Bowden), which kicks off a standard (but never dull) spin on the "spurned lover goes nutso" premise. Nurse (3D) earns some points for audacity by having its antagonist be entirely insane from the outset -- plus it eliminates the need for all that pining and stewing and "slow-burn" melodrama that this flick has no need for.
Whether she's killing for revenge, jealousy, or outrage at men who cheat on their wives, Abby is one astute butcher. And while it wouldn't be fair to spoil who lives and who dies, Abby does get to slice her scalpel through a colorful ensemble that includes a gruff Judd Nelson, a sleazy Martin Donovan, a funny Niecy Nash, and a few potential heroes in Boris Kodjoe and Corbin Blue. Katrina Bowden (Tucker and Dale vs. Evil) has evolved into a lovely heroine and does a fine job against Paz de la Huerta -- but make no mistake: Nurse (3D) is Paz de la Huerta's movie all the way. She vamps and snarls and slinks her way through the entire flick, sometimes as campy as hell, sometimes scary, and sometimes rather brave and shocking.
Director Doug Aarniokoski (The Day) and co-writer David Loughery (Dreamscape) seem well aware that they're working with borrowed parts, and it certainly doesn't hurt that Nurse (3D) moves really quick, offers a generous amount of shocks, and displays a slyly dark sense of humor in some of the film's most disturbing moments. Basically, there's not much here you haven't seen before, but Nurse (3D) is actually a strange, energetic, and joyfully mean-spirited thriller. Not sure it really needs the 3D, truth be told; I'm just here to discuss the movie, and this one's a lot more fun than I expected it to be.