Television Tourniquet: 'The Vampire Diaries' Episode 1.14


Vampire Diaries 1.14
Fool Me Once
Written by: Brett Conrad
Directed by: Marcos Siega
Original Airdate: 11 February 2010


In This Episode...
Both Bonnie and Elena are being held by Anna and Ben in a motel room.  Several escape attempts fail.  Anna meets Damon in town to work out an uneasy alliance to open the crypt: Anna will bring the witch, Damon will bring the grimoire.   But while at the meet, Stefan rescues the girls after Grams does a locate spell. Anna is pretty pissed.  With the girls safe, Stefan wants them to stay at Grams’s house, but she refuses to be a prisoner in her own house.  Annoyed that “witches are always getting tangled up in vampire business,” Grams insists on letting Damon get Catherine.

So here’s the plan: Elena goes to Damon with apologies.  To prove her intent, she removes her vervane necklace so that Damon may read her thoughts.  He sees this as a sign of trust and goes with Elena (after giving her back her necklace).  Stefan is is setting up an impressive cache of firepower at the old church.  Bonnie and Grams will open the crypt, but Stefan will set alight anything that tries to escape.  Elena returns with Damon, and the witches begin their chant.  When the crypt pops open, Stefan runs to get the flamethrower and Damon takes Elena into the crypt to ensure Grams won’t seal him in.  Grams may have opened the crypt, but didn’t break the seal.  Vamps can go in, but they can’t go out.

Stefan bumps into Ben and Anna, and is given an ultimatum: he can either save Jeremy from Ben’s fangs, or stop Anna from entering the crypt.  He saves Jeremy, and torches Ben. 

Down in the crypt, Anna lets her mom feed off Elena in order to get her strength back.  This elicits shrieks from Elena, and Stefan goes running, even though Grams warned him of the consequences.  Bonnie insists that they figure out a way to open the seal so that he can come out again.  The two witches chant their pointy hats off (they weren’t really wearing pointy hats), but they can’t hold the spell forever.  Anna and her mom make it out, but Damon practically has to be dragged out because he can’t find his beloved Catherine.  It is Elena, not Stefan, who convinces him to leave the crypt.

Topside, Bonnie tends to her exhausted Grams.  When she brings her some tea, she discovers that Grams has died.  Jeremy is fine - he thinks he drank too much.  But when Elena leaves him to check on Bonnie, he starts researching vampires.  Damon, overwhelmed by his missing Catherine, confronts Anna and Pearl.  Under threat of death, Pearl reveals that Catherine charmed one of the church guards and was never actually sealed in.  Anna admits that she saw Catherine in Chicago in the 1980s, and that she knew where Damon was this whole time - she simply never bothered to look him up.

And back in that crypt, one of the vampires gets ahold of the blood that Damon brought down for Catherine.  And Grams never successfully resealed the crypt....

Dig It or Bury It?
From the above description, it sounds like this was a tense episode.  And it was - well, parts of it were.  Virtually all of what is written above happened in the last 20 minutes of the episode.  And that was somewhat engrossing, mainly when we are down in the crypt.  The crypt is blacker than black, claustrophobic, and littered with filthy, emaciated zombie-like vampires.  But most of the episode was very Dawson’s Creek or something like that.  Lots of talking, not a lot of doing.  Elena and Bonnie tried three times to escape in a single act.  And they weren’t even good attempts.  Then there was lots of bullshit high school drama: Caroline and Matt defining their relationship, Tyler trying to score pot off the reformed Jeremy, shit like that.  It was just so dull.  Kind of felt like The Craft.

Blood Lust
Not a whole lot.  Elena’s vein was opened in near-perfect darkness, and Damon threw a bag of O Neg against the crypt wall. Other than that, the only pain and misery was that endured by yours truly.

Myths Revamped
Ummmm.... vampires actually do have emotions?  Okay, weak myth, but a weak episode.  Damon is not just furious about his missing Catherine - he seems truly heartbroken.

Dear Diary
The Salvatore journal changed lots of hands this episode, but it ended up with Bonnie, who thumbed through it desperately looking for a spell to revive her dead Grams.  Elena, who had called 911, convinced her that was no good, but methinks Bonnie will be messing with the dark arts mighty soon.

The show is on hiatus until the end of March, and frankly, after this weak episode, I am not really foaming at the mouth for the next chapter to begin.  From the scenes they showed, it looked like it was going to be more lovey-dovey-drama-shit.  However, I can imagine a lot of fun storylines on the horizon, like Bonnie going Bad Willow in an attempt to get her Grams back, or Catherine and Elena facing off to see who will reign the Gilbert/Pierce supreme.