Review

Review

Television Tourniquet: We Behold '13: Fear is Real' -- Episode 5

up
14

13: Fear is Real Episode 5
"A Lesson in Terror"
Original Airdate: 30 January 2009

In This Episode…

The group is still living in the abandoned fort.  The boys sneak out during the night to "haunt" the girls, by making "mysterious" noises – clinking together rusted horseshoes, wood blocks, strange whispers.  Joke's on them: not only do the girls not even wake up, the boys see a strange light floating at the end of one of the corridors.  The guys have also decided that either Rodney or Erica is the killer. 

The Mastermind has left the contestants a going-away present: a scrapbook full of news clippings about a half-dozen students from a local high school who were abducted and murdered.  Guess where the contestants are going now?  Yes, the ice cream parlor.

Okay, they are going to that abandoned high school.  Like school wasn't scary enough as it was.  Anyway, our contestants get there, and in the gym they find a shrine set up for the six dead students.  Their task is presented: find the class rings of the six students (taken as trophies by the "serial killer"), which are hidden in each student's favorite class (who the hell had a favorite class in high school?).  The two contestants who do not find a ring go to the execution ceremony.

Each classroom has a hint scrawled on the blackboard.  One leads Erica to find a ring in a dead fish; another leads Cody to dissect a frog; another has Ted busting open piñatas which spill bloody entrails instead of candy.  Despite the hints, I still got the feeling that the producers had to help out the contestants.  Leah and Rodney are the odd men out.  And the waiting begins.

In the meantime, Rodney reveals himself (to the cameras) as the killer.  He describes how he stole the Death Box (sleeping on the cabin porch and sneaking it out of the cage while the others sleep), and laments on how hard it is being the killer.

Dig It or Bury It?

I'm going with dig it.  This episode seemed to have a lot less meaningless filler  (i.e. 10 minutes of contestants walking through the black bayou) and more meaningful filler (digging through offal for jewelry).  I still feel like all the rituals and execution ceremonies are the same.  Find something in a creepy location, and then extricate yourself from a creepy situation.

Execution-Style

Lean and Rodney are strapped down to metal tables, hands bound above their heads.  Tonight's mission: they must free their hands, locate the scissors hidden nearby, and free themselves from their restraints – all before a bladed pendulum slices them in half.  Against all odds, Leah escapes first.  Not only does Rodney not make it out, he breaks his tooth trying to gnaw his way out of his restraints.

It seems pretty obvious that Rodney would be killed off in this episode, since he was revealed to be the killer.  In his "last words" video, he tells everyone to "watch out for the killer – be safe."  Way to keep a secret, dude.

Horrifying Cliché

One of the guys (and honestly, I have no idea who, because they are all basically interchangeable), says, "In horror films, the killer is always supposed to be the last one you expect."  Truer words are seldom spoken.  The newspaper clippings are a common story element – off the top of my head: My Bloody Valentine 3D, at least two Nightmare on Elm Streets, and I believe Scream as well.

When the contestants arrive at the school, one of the guys likens it to being in Prom Night.  And just before Rodney reveals himself as the killer, he says that in horror movies, the biggest mistake people make is to wander away from the group and get themselves killed.  So true.

Prophecies?

The contestants are getting another location change.  The only hint we get is that it is a place where they will be the living amongst the dead.  I am guessing either an abandoned hospital/morgue, or an abattoir.  I hope by the end, the contestants are dumped into an abandoned mental hospital.  I've been in one of those, and it doesn't get scarier than that.

<none>