True Blood Episode 505
“Let’s Boot and Rally”
Written By: Angela Robinson
Directed By: Michael Lehmann
Original Airdate: 8 July 2012
In This Episode...
Sookie and Alcide take their hormones upstairs. As Alcide is about to drop his pants, Sookie vomits peach schnapps all over his shoes. Bill and Eric are standing in the doorway - time to go kill Russell. The four of them go to Doug, Alcide’s foreman. Sookie uses her fairy skills to get into Doug’s head. He had been glamoured by a mysterious female vampire to help dig up Russell and take him someplace safe. Using Doug’s mind’s eye, Sookie can see the woman is wearing a distinctive pendant that Bill identifies as belonging to a woman at the Authority. Naturally, Bill immediately accuses Eric of telling Nora, which he flatly refuses. Doug leads the group to an abandoned asylum where, among piles of bodies, they discover Russell. Weak and emaciated, Russell cannot stand but his skin has grown back. Eric approaches to stake him, and Alcide suddenly collapses. And this is where the episode ends.
Pam has put Tara to work tending bar at Fangtasia. She is not happy about it, but Jessica comes in and timidly befriends Tara. Tara opens up when she realizes that Jessica understands exactly what it is like to be a baby vamp. Then the two begin giggling and gossiping like schoolgirls. When Tara steps out for a smoke, Hoyt sees her and flirts. She turns him down, he gets offended, and she takes him into the Fangtasia bathroom to fang-fuck him. She goes a little too far and he cries out. Jessica is in the next stall, fanging her own one-night-stand, when she hears Hoyt, and rips open the stall. She and Tara start brawling.
Eller has Patrick and Terry tied up in his bunker, frantically asking them if “anything” followed them there. Eller is convinced that one of the civilians their platoon killed cursed them to be haunted by an Ifrit, a monster of smoke and fire. Terry has a panic attack and flashes back to Iraq. When the dust settled back then, everyone was dead - except for one old woman who, in fact, did put an Ifrit curse on them. Patrick forces Terry to “death check” her. Terry does, putting a final bullet in her head. Patrick then lights the corpses on fire. Returning to the present, Terry does remember seeing a smoke monster. Eller is relieved and unties them. Patrick thinks that Terry was just doing this to get a release, knocks out Eller, and ties him up. Terry wants no part in this and leaves. When both of them are topside, a thick, swirling smoke monster seeps in and engulfs Eller.
After giving his statement to Andy, Sam heads over to Luna’s house to tell her about Suzanne and Emory. They seem to reconcile over the tragedy, and Sam promises to return in the morning. As he leaves her house, he sees a truckload of drunk rednecks in Obama masks (I think). They shout “Shifter!” when they see him and open fire. Luna comes running and she is shot right in the stomach. Next comes Emma, frightened by the noise. Weakly, Sam tells her to run. She takes off across the lawn, turning into a werepuppy as she goes.
Also: Jason is overwhelmed by the knowledge that his parents were killed by vampires. Lafayette is freaking out that he still has the brujo in him and prays to a variety of gods before praying to Jesus - his boyfriend, not crucified dude. He wakes from a nap to see Jesus’s severed head on the table, struggling to tell hims something - but his mouth has been sewn shut. Lafayette’s mom has the same vision, but she is less scared and more annoyed that she was woken. She promises to “tell Lafayette.”
Dig It or Bury It?
So I think I have cracked a deep, dark conspiracy. I have decided that HBO has been cracking down on the amount of sex and nudity on True Blood for the last two seasons, and this is why Alan Ball left. Seriously, would it have killed them to let Sookie and Alcide have sex? Overall, tonight’s episode was fine. This season is starting to pick up. Not significantly, but we are going somewhere. Tara is finally lightening up, and things always get more interesting when main characters are shot - especially because in a show like True Blood, pretty much anyone could be killed.
I’m so glad that Russell is back - he’s such a devious fucker. As Sookie and her boys are exploring the asylum, they stumble upon a rat nibbling on a human hand. Then they discover a room piled with corpses, and more rats feeding. Finally they come across the “pantry” of sorts - a dozen living humans, wrapped in straight jackets and hung from meat hooks, waiting to be eaten.
Jason dreams of a time when he and Sookie are kids, having breakfast with their parents. Sookie is a kid but Jason is an adult in this scenario - and he is wearing He-Man pajamas. I want a pair.
Russell attacks Sookie; someone or something drags Alcide away; Hoyt and Jessica are either going to get back together or kill each other; and the fairies return.