TV Recap: 'True Blood' Episode 509 - 'Everybody Wants to Rule the World'


True Blood Episode 509
“Everybody Wants to Rule the World”
Written By: Raelle Tucker
Directed By: Dan Attais
Original Airdate: 5 August 2012

In This Episode...

The news is devoted to coverage of the explosions of the Tru Blood factories. Tara wants to stockpile it; Pam wants it to be business as usual for Fangtasia. She spots a greasy vamper feeding on a girl in Eric’s throne, and becomes furious. The greasy dude announces that he is now the sheriff of this district by order of the magistrate, who has also lifted the ban on public feeding. Pam is informed that Eric is gone.

This is not exactly true - Eric is still alive, but the Authority’s compound is in lockdown. Eric can’t leave. Molly shuts down the cameras for a few seconds so they can talk, but Bill insists he isn’t gaming Salome - he is done with mainstreaming. That is, until, Eric reminds him of Sookie. Bill softens and agrees to help. They need Nora or Salome’s blood to unlock the door. Eric takes care of Nora, dosing her with an injection of silver to knock her out. They use her to open the door, just as Bill is arriving. When the elevator doors open, Salome is waiting there with her guards. Bill set them up.

Sookie asks Lafayette to use his new medium skills to figure out what the evil spirit she saw in the bathroom is. He does not, but he does speak to Gran, who directs Sookie to her memory box. In it is an article about her parents’ death, and mentions Bud Dearborn as the one who discovered them. So Sookie goes to visit Bud, who swears he knows nothing, but Sookie reads his thoughts and knows he is hiding something. Bud’s girlfriend, Sweetie, knocks Sookie out with a frying pan. She wakes, tied up in a pig pen. Hoyt is also there, but he has been heavily sedated. Sweetie is the Grand Dragon, a hobby she picked up after her husband left her for a werewolf. The plan is to feed Sookie and Hoyt to the pigs as a political statement.

Luckily Andy and Jason figure out that Bud is in on the supe slayings when they find a video of the Obamas dancing. Andy recognizes Bud’s boots. Sam and Luna - who literally became flies on the wall - also head out there. When Bud throws Sookie to the pigs, Sam is one of them. He shifts back to human and uses the element of surprise to beat the hell out of Sookie’s captors. Andy and Jason bust in, arresting everyone except for Sweetie, who made a run for it. Luna chases after her and beats her senseless.

Terry wants to solve his little curse problem by fighting Patrick, honorably, to the death. Patrick has other plans and takes Arlene hostage. Terry comes to rescue her and drops to his knees, preparing to let Patrick kill him. Patrick lets go of Arlene, so before he can shoot, Arlene stabs him in the jugular. Terry doesn’t know what to do: shoot Patrick or let him go. The woman that Terry shot in Afghanistan appears, telling Terry to “do what is right.” Terry shoots Patrick, and the woman is satisfied that the blood debt has been paid. So it looks like Terry is safe.

Also: Russell offers his blood to JD’s pack. Martha refuses to feed, so Russell takes the “puppy” she is holding (Emma) and gives him to Steve. We meet Alcide’s father, who was once a great pack leader. Now he is a drunk who lives in a trailer.

Dig It or Bury It?

I really liked this episode. Closure on some stories (the Obama gang; Terry and Patrick) but others opened up (Bill’s religious awakening; Russell’s involvement in the pack). I really hope that Bill has been brainwashed at this point. I worry that he is just playing a deeper con.

Ass Factor

Props to True Blood for doing what few films or shows have the balls to do: show balls. The episode opens with a male victim tied down to the table, waiting to become dinner for the Authority. He is fully naked, and we get several full-fledged penis shots. Bravo.

Also of note was Sam fighting the Obama hillbillies fully naked. Second-best naked-male fight ever (behind Viggo Mortensen’s fight in Eastern Promises).


A war is coming between vampires and humans.